Category: Family & Kids

Not Kidding About That Discount

| Vienna, Austria | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(We have a really convoluted system of discounts based on age and group size. People rarely ask for the right ticket, so we ask follow-up questions.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like one family ticket: two adults and two children.”

Me: “Sure, how old are the children?”

Customer: “22 and 24.”

Bad At Protecting Her Child

| Charleston, SC, USA | Family & Kids

(A customer walks with a toy that usually prompts me to sell a buyer protection plan, or toy insurance as I like to call it.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, would you like to add a protection plan to this?”

Customer: “No, my child will break it within a week.”

Me: “Well, that’s a perfect reason for the buyer protection plan! It covers all damages.”

Customer: “No, no. She’ll break it, so it won’t matter!”

Pray For This Child

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Family & Kids

(A newborn baby is getting its first check up and gets the all clear.)

Nurse: “Any questions?”

Father: “Is it normal for the baby to pass wind?”

An Overly-Expectant Mother

| MD, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I work as a cashier in a popular clothing store. During the daytime we often have stay-at-home moms come in. In the area I work in, they are often very out of touch with reality. This one customer comes in alone with four small children in tow. I am the only cashier on the floor and I am about to do my regular check on the fitting room.)

Customer: “I need you to watch my kids while I go find a bathing suit.”

Me: “I cannot watch your children. You need to keep them with you.”

Customer: “Why not? You’re standing here anyway. Just watch them. I’ll be a minute.”

Me: “Ma’am, take your children with you. Leaving them alone is a liability that the store does not assume.”

Customer: “It’s just for a minute! Watch them for ONE minute!”

Me: “No. Keep your children with you or I will have to ask you to leave. You are not allowed to leave your children in the store unattended.”

Customer: “Oh, for crying out loud! Do any of you people understand what customer service is about? Where am I supposed to leave my children to shop?”

Me: “With a babysitter. There is also a drop-in daycare center two blocks away.”

Customer: *throws her hands up* “You’ve ruined my day. I guess moms aren’t allowed to shop!”

Me: “You can shop with your children. We allow children in the store if they’re with their parents.”

Customer: “Sometimes I need a break, too! Why is that so much to ask?!”

Me: “Well, that’s what the daycare centers are for. You could always try one of those.”

Customer: *storming away* “I guess I’m not allowed to shop now that I have kids!”

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Not Tipped To Be A Good Night

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(A woman’s 60th birthday party of about 100 in our fancy venue has just ended. The party in general hasn’t been very good tippers despite their flashy attire, many requests, and heavy drinking, but the people are nice enough.)

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches DJ* “I just want to say thank you so much! The music, the ambiance you provided, was perfect and we all had a wonderful time!”

DJ: “Thank you, miss. No problem, we had a good time.”

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches a coworker and me changing a tablecloth* “Thank you so much! You worked so hard, the food was delicious, and the service was absolutely great. On point. We will definitely be back! You guys deserve a raise in salary tonight!” *winks, squeezes my arm, and walks away*

Me: *whispering to coworker* “Yeah, it’s called a tip…”

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