Category: Family & Kids

Putting The Poop Into Party Pooper

| Fresno, CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I work in a kind of crazy knick-knack store. We have some odd things and our pen holder is a piece of fake poop. I’m finishing up a lady with her purchase. She’s paid with a card so I ask her to sign.)

Customer: “GIVE ME ANOTHER PEN! That is disgusting and I’m not using it!”

(I hand her a different pen she signs.)

Customer: “Tell the supervisor that I’m not amused and that is completely inappropriate and disgusting!”

Me: “I will pass along the message. Have a nice day.”

(Her grandson turns to me:)

Grandson: “Don’t worry. She’s a party pooper! Party pooper!”

The Day Just Got A Whole Lot More Crappy

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(A very popular family film has just opened, and a lot of parents are bringing in young children and babies. It’s causing a lot of problems, as the parents and children are leaving enormous messes in the theaters, including popcorn all over the floors, spilled drinks everywhere and even dirty diapers on the seats, which means the entire surrounding area must be sanitized for health reasons. As a result, most theaters aren’t clean enough to let other customers in until less than five minutes before the next scheduled show time. I’m working as an usher, tearing tickets and letting people into the theaters. I’m still waiting on the theater showing the family film to be clean enough to let people in. A huge family with about six young children, including a baby, is among the group waiting to be let in. Finally, I’m given the go-ahead to let people in. The father of the family confronts me as I tear his ticket.)

Father: “That took too long! I’m half-tempted to demand a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there have been a lot of young families leaving messes that need to be cleaned up. They just had to thoroughly sanitize half the theater, because several people left dirty diapers sitting on the seats.”

Father: “Wait… so you’ll clean up if I leave my son’s diaper in the theater?”

Me: *furious but trying to retain composure* “Please… don’t. I swear to god, don’t do it.”

Ignoring The Elephant In The Room

| Corning, NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I’m a cashier at a local store. A man and a boy about seven walk in.)

Me: “Did you know you have a sticker of an elephant on your back?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, my son here put something on my back a moment ago before walking in. I thought it was one of those ‘kick me’ signs.”

Me: *laughing* “Nope, just an elephant.”

(Overhearing, another customer walks over:)

Customer #2: “Maybe it’s opening its mouth.”

(Customer #1 gets a very confused look on his face and very slowly turns around, obviously trying to understand what Customer #2 meant, as was I.)

Customer #2: “What?”


Customer #2: “You know, to say ‘kick me?'”

Receipting Back A Decent Dose Of Karma

| Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

(I am working the register when I am approached by a mother, daughter, and grandmother with a return, which happens to be a $140 coat.)

Me: “Oh, I see you have a return. Was there anything wrong with the coat?”

Mother: “No, her uncle bought it for her and she doesn’t like it.”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need to see the receipt.”

Daughter: “I wasn’t given a receipt when I got it.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. However, I will need to see some form of ID and I can only return it for the current sale price.”

Mother: “Okay, that’s no big deal.”

(I enter all of the required information, scan the item and am ready to complete the transaction.)

Me: “You’ll be getting back $84.80. Did you want a copy of the receipt sent to your email?”

Mother: “What? No, the coat was $140. That can’t be right.”

Me: “Like I said ma’am, the coat is currently on sale and that’s the price I can return it for.”

(The grandmother decides to chime in.)

Grandmother: “Listen here, you little s***. My son paid $140 for that coat; now we want a full refund. My granddaughter shouldn’t be punished for your god-d*** incompetence.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do without the receipt.”

(After being cussed out by the entire family, the girl, without even looking, promptly reaches into her purse and pulls out the receipt. I scan it and the return comes out to $84.80.)

Me: “Once again, you’ll be getting back $84.80, and would you like a copy of your attitude sent to your email?”

(The family quickly grabbed the coat and hustled out of the store.)

The Opposite Of A Rib-Tickler

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m the last to get cut tonight and end up having to pick up a table. Right off the bat, this woman tells me how last time she had a horrible experience and that our boss said he’d take care of them the next time they were in.)

Customer: “I want our appetizer crispy, but not burnt. I want our ribs to be meaty and full. I don’t want them to just pick out any kind and my daughter will have her steak medium.”

(I bring out the appetizer.)

Customer: “This isn’t crispy at all! See all this?”

(I go back and get a new one started for her. When I come back out to tell her that, she says:)

Customer: “Well, we actually want it without all the seasoning on it.”

(I run back to let the kitchen guys know, and they are now making the third appetizer for this family. I bring it out when it’s ready.)

Customer: *after about a minute of eating the appetizer* “Why is everything taking so long? Why is the food taking so long? We’ve been here three hours!”

(It’s been approximately a half an hour.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, we had to make you three appetizers first, before the food was put in.”

Customer: “I don’t care. It’s taking too long. And they better not screw up the ribs.”

(I go back to the kitchen and tell the guys they really need to help me out here and they do their best.)

Customer: *after biting into her ribs* “Do you see this? It’s so dry! Taste it!”

Me: “No, thanks, ma’am. I trust you.”

(I grab my manager and have her talk to them. We get her two new baked potatoes, she argues over what medium meant, etc. My manager takes the ribs off the bill. I take it out to her.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t think we should pay for any of this! We didn’t eat it! My daughter hardly touched her steak.”

(I ran back and begged my manager to take care of it, since they had been here over an hour and a half and we’re closed. She took care of the whole check. I sat down with the woman and chatted for a minute afterwards, and she handed me $6… on a check that should’ve been $50, for a table that kept me past closing.)

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