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Category: Family & Kids

Email Fail, Part 3

| ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Technology

(An older man is with a boy about the age of eight. I assume it’s his grandson.)

Me: “Would you like to sign up to have our coupons emailed to you?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: “Okay.”

Grandson: “He doesn’t even have Internet! Slow down with the emails!”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 2
Email Fail

Mothers Can Be Soul-Destroying

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work in a Halloween pop up shop that sells costumes and accessories. A mother and son, about five years old, come in.)

Boy: “Excuse me, I want a Batman costume.”

Woman: “Not too expensive, please.”

Me: “Okay! Let me let me show you where they are.”

(I lead them to the costumes, turn around to talk to them, and the boy is completely naked.)

Boy: “I’m going to try that one!”

Woman: “[Boy]! We need to put on your clothes!”

Boy: “But you said being naked is good for your soul.”

Me: *trying unsuccessfully to stifle laughter*

(The woman is frantically apologizing and trying to put on her son’s clothes.)

Son: “No! My soul!”

Radiating With Stupidity

| Estonia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

(An English-speaking client is trying to get some information about a guitar festival that is supposed to take place that day. He says his wife had talked to someone earlier about it but I’m having trouble finding any information about a guitar festival at all.)

Me: “May I please call you back in a few minutes? I’ll try to find out who was talking to your wife earlier and where she found the information.”

Client: “No, that’s not an option. You see, I can’t use this phone around my children because of the radiation. I’m standing outside of the car right now.”

Practically Screaming Your Age

, | Yorktown, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a drive-in where you park you car and order food from a speaker, then we bring it to you. Sometimes customers let their kids make the order for them.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?

(The drive-in is very new, and our headsets have pristine hearing.)

Mother: *whispering* “Tell them, ‘one chocolate milkshake.'”

Child: *screaming* “ONE CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE!”

(I nearly fall over as I jerk the headset off my ears. I can still hear talking through them.)

Mother: *whispering* “One vanilla milkshake.”

Child: *screaming* “ONE VANILLA MILKSHAKE!”

Mother: *whispering* “And two strawberry milkshakes.”

Child: *screaming* TWO STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKES!”

(I gingerly put the headphones back on.)

Me: “Okay, that will be [price]. Will it be cash or card?”

Child: *screaming* “I DON’T KNOW! I’M SIX!”

No Kidding About The Kid, Part 2

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

(The store I work at is on a busy street with a lot of bars and very little available parking, so a lot of non-customers will illegally park in our lot despite the numerous signs. A tow company comes by on the busier evenings and take the cars of those not in the store to their lot. I often have to handle irate people who are angry about their car being towed and the release charges. At about 11:30 pm, a woman stumbles into the store, obviously inebriated, and demands to know where her car is.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you were not in our store while your car was parked in our lot it was most likely towed.”

Her: “Are you f****** kidding me? I was only gone two hours… What gives you the right to take my car?!”

Me: “Well, per our signs in the lot, you cannot park there unless you are patronizing our store. It was a tow company that took your car.”

Her: “This is bullshit! You crooks took my car and I bet my iPad will be missing from it, too!”

Me: “I doubt that, but here is the number of the tow company for you to call.”

Her: “Ugh, my kids are probably still in there, too!”

Me: *praying I’ve misheard her* “Excuse me, did you say YOUR KIDS?!”

Her: “Yeah. God d*** it; this is f****** unbelievable!”

Me: “Sure is… Tell you what; I’ll call the company for you because you seem a little upset.”

Her: “Yeah, DO THAT. It’s your job!”

(I called the tow company to ask if they’d found her kids. They had, recently, and had them warming up in the office. It is late February.)

Me: “Hey… can you write down your name and plate number in case your, um, iPad is missing?”

Her: “D*** right! You’ll hear from my lawyer if it isn’t!”

(As soon as she left in a cab, I called the police and explained the situation. They met her at the tow lot and arrested her.)

Related:
No Kidding About The Kid

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