Category: Family & Kids

Not Exactly Clean Eating

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(Some cleaning solution has spilled on a table and dried. A four-year-old boy sees the stain, wipes up a bit on his finger, and licks it.)

Boy: *perplexed* “That’s not candy.”

Me: *speechless*

A Ballooning Sense Of Entitlement

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am with my company’s owner, advertising by handing out free balloons at a agriculture expo. It’s towards the end of the day; we have about two dozen balloons left inflated, and we’ve depleted the helium tank for the day. So, we are handing out the last balloons before quitting for the day.)

Little Girl: “I want a pink balloon!”

Me: “Sorry! I’m all out of pink. I just have these colors left.”

Little Girl: “Hmm… Yellow?”

Girl’s Father: “Nonsense. If you want pink, they will give you pink. Look, they have pink balloons there!” *pointing to my bag of un-inflated balloons*

Me: “I do, but I’m out of helium. I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you this yellow balloon that floats, and give you a pink balloon you can blow up and play with at home!”

Little Girl: “Okay!”

Girl’s Father: “No, not okay! The pink balloon won’t float if we just blow it up.”

Me: “Well, that’s all I can do for you.”

Girl’s Father: “Do you have more helium?”

Me: “This is all I have here.”

Girl’s Father: “But where do you have more helium? One of you can run and go get another tank.”

Me: “Look, this is all the helium I have.”

Little Girl: “Daddy! I want the yellow balloon.”

Girl’s Father: “There had to be a way to problem solve this! Can you take the helium from one balloon and use it to inflate a pink balloon?”

Me: “Look, if you want to try that, feel free, but I’m not going to waste time trying to cannibalize one of the balloons for another.”

Girl’s Father: “This is terrible customer service!”

Business Owner: “You know what? I’ll give you all your money back. Oh, wait. They are free. And I am not giving you one at any price. Now we are gonna give these to everyone else who wants a FREE BALLOON. Please leave my booth before I call security.”

(The girl’s father sputtered and turned, yanking his daughter away with him. He pulled her across the concourse while she wailed that she didn’t get a balloon.)

Small Talk Baulk

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Language & Words

Me: “Good morning. How can I help y—“

Customer: “Cappuccino. Medium.”

Me: “Would you like that to stay or—“

Customer: *interrupting again* “Go.”

(I finish the transaction politely but without trying to make small talk.)

Customer: “Not very chatty are you?”

They’re Like A Fish Out Of Water

| NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am in a chain pet store when I overhear a conversation between a middle-aged lady, a young teenage girl and a store employee. The teen is looking at the fish display which is split into warm and cold fish.)

Teen: “Oh, this one is pretty cool!” *points at one of the “cold” fish, before moving over to the warm display* “—and this one, the angel fish!”

Lady: “Um, I think they are a warm and a cold fish… They don’t go well together.”

Teen: “So? I’m sure they will get along.”

Employee: “That’s not the point, ma’am. One lives in warm water and one lives in cold water. They are more likely to get sick and die if they are not correctly taken care of.”

Teen: “So? I’ll just put them together; they will be fine.”

Lady: “This employee just said they will probably die if you put them together. I’m not going to waste money on this.”

Employee: “We do have a 30-day return on fish that die, but I cannot in good conscience sell you these creatures if you aren’t going to take care of them properly.”

Teen: “But you will make money. Why do you care?”

Employee: “Because believe it or not, everyone who works here cares about the animals in our care. Actually, do you have everything set up ready to go or were you just looking today?”

Teen: “Oh, I was just going to put them in a goldfish bowl. They will be fine.”

Employee: *looking strained but trying to keep her cool* “We advise that you have a proper tank set up for a minimum of a month before introducing fish to it. A bowl for a goldfish only works if you clean it daily if it does not have a filter.”

Teen: “You don’t need to clean them! I want fish because you don’t ha—”

Lady: *interrupting her* “I’ve heard enough. You said you had done research on this and that everything was ready. This is why your pets keep dying. I’m going to go buy you a plant instead.” *turns to the employee* “Thank you for your help. Good bye.”

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A Minor Case Of Bad Language

| Red Deer, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I work in the video game part of a toy store. A little kid is playing video games that we have on demo. We assume the man walking around looking at the other video games and consoles is the child’s guardian.)

Child: “Why the f*** did I die?! That was bull-s***!”

(When I hear this I walk up to the man who is browsing and ask him if the child is his. When he says no, I walk over to the child.)

Me: “I’m sorry but it isn’t appropriate for you to be using that language in this store.”

Child: “I say whatever the f*** I want.”

(At this time my manager hears what the child is saying and walks up to us.)

Manager: “Where are your parents?”

Child: “They know I’m here.”

Manager: “That’s not what I asked; I want to know who you are with and where they are.”

Child: “Fine. They are with my sister in the doll section.”

(My manager goes over the intercom to call for the child’s parents. Minutes later the parents came to the video game section angry they were called over.)

Customer: “Why was I called over? I was with my daughter!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your child isn’t supposed to be left alone in this department; if someone were to grab him—”

Customer: “But he’s playing video games and you are here. He will be fine.”

Manager: “It is not my associate’s responsibility to watch over your child while you wander around the store.”

Customer: “But he is right there!”

Me: “It’s still not my responsibility. We get busy pretty fast in this department and if your child was grabbed while I was with another customer, it would not be my fault. That isn’t the only reason we called you down here. He is using adult language and it isn’t appropriate for a child his age to say words like that.”

Customer: “He is ten; he can say whatever he wants.”

(After arguing with the customer she finally got fed up and left. She forgot her daughter, who she left unattended in the doll section. She came back five minutes later asking why we never told her she forgot someone.)

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