Category: Family & Kids

Trying To Milk Some Tomorrow Out Of Today

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(The lady in line in front of me is making a complaint to a confused cashier. The lady is complaining about the milk her grandson got with his breakfast meal. Her husband is sitting at a table nearby with her grandson lying on top of the table holding his stomach and moaning.)

Lady: *slams the EMPTY milk bottle on the counter* “Do you people know how to read dates? This milk is expired and now my grandson is sick! This is your fault. If I have to take him to the ER, I’m sending the bill to you!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You said the milk was expired? I checked it myself.”

Lady: “Well, you obviously don’t know what today’s date is then, idiot. Manager, now!”

Cashier: *literally running from the register* “Yes, ma’am!”

Lady: *turns to me* “These morons can’t get anything right. And they want $15 an hour!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Lady: “That idiot gave my grandson expired milk. I demand all of my money back and I’m sending the ER bill here. It is obvious my grandson has food poisoning!”

Manager: *in a patient and calm tone* “Ma’am, what is today’s date?”

Lady: “You don’t know the date either? Morons leading morons! It is [today’s date].”

Manager: “And what’s the date on that milk?”

Lady: “It says [tomorrow’s date]. See, it is expired! It smelled bad and had chunks in it. My grandson is so sick. I demand my money back now. Hurry up so I can take him to the hospital.”

Manager: “Yeah, not going to happen. You don’t get to insult my cashier or me when you are the one that can’t figure out that tomorrow comes AFTER today. The milk doesn’t expire until tomorrow, meaning it is still good today. Your grandson drank all of it so it couldn’t have had a strange smell or texture. And your grandson is likely sick from the three doughnuts you let him eat in addition to the croissant and hash browns. Get out.”

(The lady is literally dragged out of the store by her husband who is also dragging their grandson by his coat.)

Me: “Wow. Some people just suck. Don’t worry, not everyone is an a**hole.”

(I dropped $1 in the tip jar immediately and was as kind as possible to the terrified cashier. When the manager handed me my meal, I found a note saying “Thanks for not being an a**-hole!” with an extra doughnut in the bag.)

Weeding Out The Bad Guests

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging

(It is about two in the morning when I get a call from one of the rooms.)

Guest: “Excuse me, but I smell WEED! Someone’s smoking!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We are a non smoking hotel.”

Guest: *shrilly* “That’s it? Aren’t you going to go and catch the person who’s doing it? It’s illegal here, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes it is, but it’s two in the morning and there’s no one here but me. I can’t leave the front desk and go about sniffing for who has done it.”

Guest: “Well, I never! This is unacceptable that you would support illegal practices here!”

Me: “We do not and the only thing I can do is apologize and offer to change your room.”

Guest: “I’m not moving. What else can you do? Surely there’s something?”

Me: “Like I said, I cannot figure out who is smoking, and everything will have to be done in the morning when the housekeepers are here so we can find out who is smoking in this non-smoking hotel.”

Guest: “So you can’t do anything about this?!”

Me: “No, I can’t.”

Guest: *begins screaming, and then finally hangs up*

(She called three times after that, ranting and raving, before finally going to sleep, I guess. I don’t smoke, so I don’t know if she was telling the truth or not. I leave a note for the managers about it, and the next day, I arrive for my shift and the manager is there.)

Me: “Did housekeepers ever find out which room was smoking?”

Manager: “Yes. Hers. Turns out her teen son was doing it in his room. She went ballistic at US instead of him… We threw them out and called the police.”

Can’t Buy The Seedy CD

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

(I’m a music team lead at a branch of a major chain of bookstores. We’re located in a shopping square in a rich neighborhood. Because of our location and the level of attempted theft we’ve seen, our music, DVDs, audio-books, and e-readers have been placed in a separate section with EAS (Electronic Article Surveillance) scanners. Leads been instructed not to allow items in the section onto the book floor without having been checked out, and to put the EAS sound over other customers, as the customers get it and it’s usually a check-out misunderstanding. We are to use our best judgment on who we allow in and out of the section. This particular late night, there’s a homecoming dance at a nearby high school. It’s also best to mention I play piano and guitar at a restaurant down the street two nights a week.)

Me: *having been assisting a customer and heard the EAS sound off* “Excuse me, sir, if you’re still shopping I can hold your CDs here for you until you’re ready to check out.”

Young Customer: *dressed up in a tailored suit* “No, that’s okay. My mom’s just waiting for me at the front.” *starts to leave again*

Me: “I understand. Unfortunately, we have to keep all CDs and films in this section until they’re checked out. Are you ready to purchase?”

Young Customer: “No, I just want to show this to my mom.” *the CDs are by a classic rock group with PG-suggested labels on the fronts*

Me: “I can hold the CDs here for you while you go get her.”

Young Customer: *progressively getting louder* “But she’s just right there!”

Me: “Sir, store policy is we can not allow product beyond this point without a receipt.”

Young Customer: “This is bull-s***! I’m back here all the time! Your store should know that I’m a good kid!! My mom knows I’m a good kid!”

Me: *beyond annoyed but still professional, having quietly paged for the manager on duty* “Sir, I need you to lower your voice, please. As I’ve stated, you can show them to her. You would just need to bring her back here.”

Young Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You’re new and already know everything, don’t you?!”

Me: “I’ve worked here for over a year, sir, and our policy’s been the same.”

Young Customer: “Just because I’m a teenager doesn’t mean I’m a thief! I’ll have my dad sue for unlawful discrimination!”

(My manager, a friend and fellow musician, arrives and I explain the situation.)

Manager: “Unfortunately, sir, she’s correct. I can accompany you to find your mother while she holds the CDs for you.”

Young Customer: “My dad’s a lawyer! He won’t stand for this sh***y place staying open after this!”

Mother: *having finally heard the ruckus* “What did he do thi— Oh, hello, [My Name]! How’re you doing? Will you be playing tomorrow night?”

Me: *recognizing her as a frequent patron of the restaurant* “Yes, ma’am. Looking forward to it. Is this your son?”

Mother: *clearly just as annoyed as me* “I said I wouldn’t buy those CDs for you! They’re not appropriate for your age! Now give them to the young woman and get your butt in the car.”

Young Customer: *blushes heavily, stammers, then finally leaves with his apologetic mom*

Manager: “He’ll never show his face back here again.”

Me: “If he does, I’ll change the in-store playlist to Buddy Guy. That oughta keep ‘im out.”

These Seats Are Mine Because I Did The Time

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(Opening night for new movies is extremely busy. Lines start forming an hour before the movie starts. My friends and I go to see a new movie, stand in line for 90 minutes, and get our perfect seats – back center. As the theater fills up, people coming in start asking others to move over so they can sit together.)

New Guy: “Can you guys move over so we can sit together?”

Me: “No.”

New Guy: “Excuse me?”

Me: “There’s plenty of open seats. If you want to sit together, sit somewhere else.”

(The guy walks away and comes back a few minutes later with an usher and a smug smile.)

Usher: “Sir, could you please move over so these people can sit together?”

Me: “Sure. Just give me a gift card to cover the cost of my and my friends’ tickets.”

Usher: “What?”

Me: “We got here an hour and half early to get these seats. If you want us to move, then refund us the cost of our tickets. Otherwise, this guy who walked in 10 minutes before the movie starts can sit somewhere else.”

Usher: *turns to the other customer* “Sir, there are plenty of other seats to choose from in the theater.”

A-Parent Lack Of A Parent

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work the gate at an indoor play-gym. While I do keep an eye on everyone, I am not there to watch people’s kids for them. A couple with two young kids come in, and they force the gate open.)

Customer #1: “Make sure my son doesn’t leave.”

(As I can’t leave the gate, I figure they’ll be back in a minute. Thirty seconds later, a small boy about four years old run over to the gate and tries getting through.)

Me: “Hey, why don’t you stay in here?”

Boy: “I want my mommy!”

Me: “You can’t be out there by yourself, okay?”

(The boy starts screaming and trying to hit me now. An older woman comes over to try and help.)

Customer #2: “Here, sweetie, why don’t you sit here and wait for your parents!”

Boy: “NO! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I don’t wanna wait!”

Customer #2: “What’s wrong? Did you get hurt?”

Boy: “I WANT MY MOMMY! I’LL KILL YOU!”

(At this point I’m scared he’ll hurt the woman, as he’s kicking madly at her. I call down a police officer to help.)

Boy: “I WANT OUT! I DON’T WANNA WAIT!”

Me: “You need to stay here for now, okay?”

(The boy gets up and tries pulling the gate open. I stop him, as I don’t want the gate to break or for him to get hurt. He turns at me and hits me. It wasn’t hard, but it did stun me.)

Boy: “LEAVE ME ALONE! I’LL KILL YOU!”

Customer #2: “Sweetie, just stay here for a minute! Just calm down!”

Boy: “NO! I DON’T WANNA WAIT! LET ME OUT!”

(The police officer comes over to the gate and looks down at the boy.)

Officer: “Here, I’ll help you find your parents.”

(I open the gate, and the boy takes off running. The officer goes after him. The play-gym was calmer after that. Later in the day, the officer comes down to check on me.)

Officer: “Everything okay down here?”

Me: “Yeah. Did you find that one kid’s parents?”

Officer: “Yeah. They were out on the go-karts; I had to yell at them to get them off. They didn’t understand why they were in trouble, or why their kid was crying.”