Category: Family & Kids

Didn’t Do Their Homework

| Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(This particular theme park allows free admittance for children under two. We get parents coming up to the entrance all the time saying their three-year-old is two. A guest strolls up to me with their obviously 11-year-old son.)

Me: “Hello there, how are you today?”

Guest: *doesn’t answer and proceeds to present only his ticket media*

Me: “And does the child have a ticket?”

Guest: “No, he’s only two.”

Me: *to guest* “Sir, he is clearly not two years old.”

Guest: “Oh, yeah? Go ahead and ask him!

Me: “You mean I have permission to ask your son how old he is?”

Guest: *with a smart-alecky attitude* “Yes, go ahead. See what he tells you.”

Me: *smiles to child guest* “Son, do you like getting homework?”

Child Guest: “No, I hate homework.”

Me: *to adult guest* “Sir, two-year-old children don’t get homework. He needs a ticket and there is the ticket purchasing counter over there.”

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Harry Potter And The Amazon Woman

| ID, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work reference desk at a public library. My desk is right next to the “New Books” display, and among the new books is a copy of “The Secret History of Wonder Woman.” The dust jacket shows Wonder Woman in the process of changing from her alter ego to her superhero form, so she still has her glasses and jacket on, but is also wearing her iconic leotard and crown. A mom and her children are walking by the display when one spots the book.)

Child: “Mom, look! It’s Harry Potter Wonder Woman!”

(I’m also a geek in my off-time, so I’m tempted to cosplay that at my next convention now…)

A Grocery Error Of Judgement

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in a popular grocery store. It’s a very busy Sunday afternoon, and I am monitoring the six self-checkout machines, which is basically like paying attention to six things at once, while answering questions of customers passing by. A man and his three- or four-year old daughter walk away from their machine and come up to me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I left my credit card in the car. Can you watch my groceries while I run out and grab it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as you can see, it’s very busy at the moment so I can’t hold your machine. However, I can suspend your order while you get your card, and you can finish checking out when you get back.”

Customer: “I’m parked just right outside. Can you please just hold it for a minute?”

(People in line are already getting irritated that this guy is talking to me instead of checking out, but this continues for another couple of minutes. Finally, I just give in.)

Me: “Okay, but please try to hurry. There is a long line.”

Customer: “Thank you so much! I’ll be right back.”

(He takes his daughter by the hand, presumably to take her out with him. A few seconds later, she comes walking back up to me.)

Me: “…Hi. Where’s your dad?”

Girl: “He told me you would watch me while he went outside.”

(This guy left his very young daughter with me, while I was running six cash registers at once on the busiest day of the week. He was gone for about fifteen minutes (way more than “a couple”) and when he returned, he smelled like he had been chain smoking the whole time he was gone. I ended up calling one of my supervisors over to help watch the kid while I did my job. All of the customers who were around kept asking if I knew the guy and his kid, and when I said no, the looks of shock and disgust that he left a complete stranger to babysit her were priceless.)

Meat Her Halfway

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m working the self-scan machines. A grandfather comes by with his granddaughter in the seat of the shopping cart. He takes a pack of cookies from the nearby shelf and gives them to her.)

Grandfather: “Okay, honey, what should we get next?”

Granddaughter: “MEAT!”

Me: *chuckling* “I guess she’s a little carnivore, huh?”

Grandfather: *also laughing* “Well, her mom’s a vegetarian so I can’t really give her meat.”

Granddaughter: *bouncing in the seat with a big smile* “MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT!”

Me: “I don’t think she’s a vegetarian, sir.”

Would Love To See Her React To Blueberry Pie

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

(Where I work we have gummy bears as an extra on the menu, and when younger kids come in I tend to fill a little dish with bears from the container and offer it to them while their guardians decide what to order. The other day, I offer some to a family with dad, mum, and three kids. When I offered the gummy bears to the kids, they recoiled and looked at their mum.)

Mother: “Are there blue gummy bears in there?”

Me: *I look at the container in my hand* “Yes, there are.”

(She nods ‘yes’ to her kids, who grab all the gummy bears from the container except the blue ones. I open my mouth to joke about them leaving the blue ones when the mother smacks the container out of my hand, shattering the dish on the floor and spilling bears everywhere. Very calmly she steps forward and informs me:)

Mother: “Blue food is unnatural and the Devil’s work.”

(Stunned, I stare at her while she calmly fills her order and her kids don’t even blink. No further comments are made other than:)

Mother: “You should wear gloves while cleaning this up, dear.”

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