Category: Family & Kids

Overflowing With Problems

| Appleton, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I’m bagging groceries, and in the middle of an order I notice that the cashier has paused, and is delicately holding up an item she has grabbed out of the shopping cart. She turns to the customer, and the following exchange happens.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, there appears to be something on this. Did you want a new one? Or…”

Customer: “Oh, that, yeah. My daughter had diarrhea, and it overflowed her diaper.”

(At this, my coworker and I take a closer look at the contents of the cart. It’s everywhere. My poor coworker just makes a horrified face, as she realizes she just got a handful of feces.)

Customer: “Yeah, you’re gonna clean that all up, right?”

(We are nowhere near capable of properly cleaning up what turned out to be a few dozen items coated in fecal matter (including a serious need for gloves) at the register, but she was “in a hurry” so we had to clean it up with just paper towels and the glass cleaner we use to wipe down the registers, all the while holding back the urge to vomit. Of course the customer didn’t say another word, but at least my coworker and I got relieved to go sanitize ourselves!)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8

| IN, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(Two summers ago I worked as an intern for the state fair. Part of my job was to register students for a pre-veterinary day camp in partnership with a state university. The campers talk to veterinarians & vet students, practice sutures, watch a surgery, etc. A mother calls to register her middle-school aged daughter. It goes normally until this point:)

Mother: “Will my daughter interact with any live animals? Like dogs or cats?”

Me: “Actually she won’t, although she’ll have the opportunity to watch a surgery through glass. I’m sorry if that’s disappointing!”

Mother: “Oh, no, I’m so glad! My daughter is very allergic to dogs and cats! She can’t stand to be around them!”

(The mother goes on to tell me what a great opportunity this & how much her daughter wants to be a veterinarian. I didn’t have the heart to point out this probably isn’t the career field for her…)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 7
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

Does It Look Like I Give A Thank?

| Boston, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Popular, Rude & Risque

(A family with two small children is sitting at a table across from me eating pizza. The father has been serving slices cut in half to the children, who look to be around three years old.)

Mother: “What do you say to daddy, sweetheart?”

Little Girl: “F*** you!”

Mother: “No, no, honey. You mean ‘Thank you!'”

Little Girl: “Fank you!”

Mother: *to me* “She’s still learning.”

Diarrhea Of A Wimpy Kid

| ID, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We get quite a few kids at our library, which we encourage as it promotes literacy. Unfortunately, that does mean we get some unusual requests for books, and it doesn’t help that sometimes younger kids don’t pronounce things very well. Case in point…)

Kid: “Do you have any diarrhea books?”

Me: “…What?”

Kid: “Diarrhea books!”

Kid’s Mom: “He means Diary of a Wimpy Kid books.”

Me: “Oh, phew, good. The only ‘diarrhea’ book I know of is Everybody Poops. But Diary of a Wimpy Kid books are this way…”

Outer Their Minds

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Popular

(I work in a very popular retail clothing store that sells both men’s and women’s underwear and outerwear clothing. We are very famous for our good-quality underwear. For that reason we aren’t exactly the cheapest place but we always have special sales on, and they rotate every two weeks. The week before we had a successful 40% off sale on all women’s items, including underwear. This week, the 40% sale has ended and it’s changed to 30% off all men’s and women’s outerwear. We have signs everywhere that say this. A family consisting of a grandmother, mother, and teenage daughter have come in, and I’ve just finished fitting the daughter looking for her first true bra.)

Me: “So, this size should be fine for you! And it’ll be good for your school uniform, too; the colour won’t show through your blouse.”

Mum: “Sounds great! You’ve got us sold. We’ll take two.”

Me: “Fantastic, let’s ring it up at the counter.”

(We go to the counter, and have a pleasant chat.)

Me: “Okay thanks guys, for the two bras it’s $64.00.”

Grandma: “Oh, no, dear. That can’t be right. They’re 40% off.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. That sale ended last week. Our new sale is 30% off all men’s and women’s outerwear.” *I point to the nearest sign, one of 40 around the relatively small store*

Grandma: “Oh, in that case then, sorry. But that still isn’t right. That means the bras are 30% off.”

Me: “Oh, sorry for the confusion, but the sale relates to outerwear only. Clothing. No underwear.”

Grandma: “Yes, so the bras are still 30% off.”

Me: *getting confused* “No, ma’am. I’m sorry, but in our store bras are classed as underwear and therefore aren’t included in the sale.”

Grandma: *suddenly goes from sweet little old lady to monster* “WELL, THEN! THAT’S DECEPTIVE ADVERTISING! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD PUT SO MANY SIGNS UP SAYING YOU HAVE A SALE FOR CLOTHING AND THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT! THE ONLY REASON WHY WE CAME TO THIS OVERPRICED PLACE IN THE FIRST PLACE WAS FOR THE SALE! YOU SHOULD TAKE THESE SIGNS DOWN. THAT—” *points to our rack of bras* “—IS CLOTHING! THEREFORE, YOU SHOULD PUT THEM IN THE SALE! SO DO IT!”

Mum: “You know my mum does have point…”

Me: *stunned and getting angry at being yelled at for these customers’ stupidity* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as bras are underwear and therefore not classed as clothing and outerwear, I am not able to put it through on sale.”

Mum: “Can we speak to your manager about this?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my manager is on her lunch break.”

Grandma: “Well, then, cancel everything. We’re not paying for overpriced junk through false advertising. C’mon, ladies, we’re going to [Competitor].”

(I’m shaking my head when my manager comes back from her lunch break and sees the disgruntled family leave the store.)

Manager: “What happened?”

(I explain the situation and she looks stunned, and then starts laughing.)

Manager: “What idiots. What do you do when you say when you’re going to go put clothes on? Just walk out in your knickers and bra?”

Me: “Well, that grandma must.”