Category: Family & Kids

Wish They Would Stay Hidden

| Boston, MA USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(My sister and niece are visiting, so the four of us take them to eat at a local restaurant. It is fairly late at night, 8:30 pm, and the restaurant isn’t terribly crowded. We sit down with our menus and start perusing them when we hear a small child with a very loud voice yelling.)

Child: “8… 9… 10! Ready or not, here I come!”

(It soon becomes apparent that four children under the age of five are playing hide and seek in the restaurant. They are running around the entire (thankfully half empty) place, hiding under tables and behind columns, practically doing laps, and counting at the top of their lungs. There are four adult women, presumably moms, who are chatting the entire time. They are done eating – check is on the table – but they sit there and chat for 45 minutes while their kids run around… and around… and around. One of them finally gets up, but it’s to take a picture of the kids hiding under a table, not to ask them to stop. When they FINALLY leave, we have a conversation with our lovely, patient waitress:)

Me: “Oh, my God, who lets their kids play hide and seek in a restaurant?”

Waitress: “You didn’t see the best part. One of their kids ran up to a table of strangers, stood right next to the table, and coughed all over their food. The other family was totally revolted – you could see it in their face. And the mom came over and TOOK PICTURES!”

(We left her a 20% tip just for having to deal with that!)

Children Of Crime

| UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(It’s busy at work so I decide to hop on a checkout. I have processed a couple of customers when I notice everything on the conveyor belt for my next customer has been opened.)

Me: “Miss, we prefer to have you wait until after purchasing before… eating your shopping.”

Woman: “Oh, my son was hungry. You can’t expect him to sit there quietly when he’s hungry!”

Me: *looking at the toddler in the trolley seat and then at the woman’s shopping* “Sure, but, you gave him whiskey?”

(The woman turned beet red and decided to sprint for the door, leaving her shopping and CHILD behind. She jumped in her car and sped off. We got in touch with the police and while giving statements in the back the woman came back in wearing something completely different and trying to act incognito. We all went down and when she saw the police she tried to do a runner again. I was honestly trying to hold laughter in while the police arrested her for robbery, child neglect, and drunk driving. Her son was smiling and laughing throughout.)

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A Deception For The Books

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I am working in the children’s section of my bookstore. A father and his son, about five or six, come in and start browsing the books. I notice the child walk up to his dad with a rather expensive hardcover dinosaur book he had been reading.)

Child: *whispering* “Dad, I accidentally ripped a page in this book.”

(Sure enough, I look over to see a sizeable tear going half way up one page. The father turns his head and we make awkward eye contact where I give him a pained smile. Before I have the chance to say anything, he turns back to his son.)

Dad: “Well, buddy, that’s too bad, and you have to be more careful with things that aren’t yours. I guess we’re taking this home with us now.”

(Not expecting that level of decency, I am pleasantly surprised. The child, however, is not happy about this.)

Child: “What? No, I don’t want this one. I want another one!”

Dad: *shrugs* “Well, I’m sorry, but do you think any other kid is going to want this book now? We damaged it so we have to buy it.”

(The kid throws a bit of a fit but the father calmly repeats that they have to buy the book. They leave the section shortly after. I am really pleased with the father’s attitude, happy that he intends to pay for the book when many other parents would just cut and run. I tell a few coworkers about the customers and the incident lifts my spirits. However, half an hour later another coworker approaches me.)

Coworker: “Here, I just found this book wedged in the corner of my section behind a bunch of stuff.”

(To my dismay it’s the damaged dinosaur book! I guess either the child got his way in the end, or the father’s speech was all a show to fool me. Either way I was extremely unimpressed! We marked the book down to clearance and still no one wanted to buy it, just as the dad predicted!)

Fashion Is Dead(Pool)

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work in a well-known retail store. A mother comes to my register with her very preppy looking teenage daughter. The daughter is getting two graphic tees. Note that I am also female.)

Me: “So whoever picked out the Deadpool shirt has good taste!”

Daughter: *squeals* “See, Mom! I told you!”

Me: “Yeah, Deadpool is the best! He so awesome.” *the daughter just stares at her mother with the biggest grin* “I read that they finally greenlit the movie.”

Daughter: “Yeah, but I am hoping it isn’t a fan made thing going around.”

Me: “Well, if it isn’t, as long as they don’t replace Ryan Reynolds, I will be happy.”

(At this point the transaction was over and the mother and daughter were walking out with the daughter saying how much Ryan Reynolds sucked. The mother basically had the ‘kill me now’ look on her face the entire time. Score one for the nerds!)

Framing Your Family

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I’m showing a customer our range of picture frames.)

Customer: “How big is 8″ by 10″?”

(I pick up a frame of that size and hand it to her.)

Customer: “How big is it though?”

Me: “That big.” *pointing at the frame*

Customer: *stares at the frame blankly before moving on* “What about this?”

Me: “It’s 4″ by 5″. It would accommodate a picture that is a quarter the size of the one in your hand.”

Customer: *waving her hands wildly* “That makes no sense!”

Me: “Umm, perhaps if you tell me the size of the picture you want to frame, I can show you what we have?”

Customer: “Don’t you give me a picture?”

Me: “We have some available for purchase.”

(I show her our collection.)

Me: “Is there any that take your fancy?”

Customer: *after looking over the selection* “Do you have any with my grandchildren?”

Me: “…”

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