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Category: Family & Kids

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Just Another Slice Of Retail

| Wareham, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A customer approaches the counter with her approximately three-year-old son.)

Customer: “Can I please have two pounds of bologna?”

Coworker: “Sure, German or all beef style?”

Customer: “Oh, uh… I think my son here likes the beef.”

Coworker: “I can gladly give him a slice to try so you can be sure it’s the one he wants.”

Customer: “No, the beef is fine. Two pounds, please.”

(My coworker slices the two pounds of bologna and hands it to the customer. The customer opens the bag and hands a slice to her son. He takes a small bite before making a disapproving face and handing his mother the slice back.)

Customer: “Oh, I guess it’s the German he wants. Here, take the beef back and I’ll have two pounds of German style.”

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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Slushed

| Wales, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’ve had a bad day and I’m stopping by this sweet shop for a pick-me-up. Shortly after I arrive, a lady arrives with five children, paying a lot more attention to her phone than them. As I’m waiting in queue, she chooses to push in.)

Me: “Err, excuse me?”

Lady: “Can’t you see I’ve got all these kids!?”

Child #1: “Mum, can we get a slushie, too?”

Child #2: “Yeah, slushie!”

Lady: *snaps* “No, you got your sweets. Now be quiet!” *returns to phone*

(When I get to the till, the lady hangs around on her phone while the children compare sweets. I decide to add something to my purchase.)

Me: “Could I have a large strawberry slushie, too?”

All Five Children: “Mum! Mum! She gets a slushie and sweets! Why can’t we? Mum! Mum! Mum!”

Lady: *look of terror at the children, and hate at me*

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Don’t Burst Their Entitlement Bubble

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Popular

(I’m a supervisor for a high-traffic box office during a yearly theatre festival. It is a busy spell on a Saturday during closing weekend. A woman runs up to the counter yelling for help, carrying her large child – I’d say around eight years old – cradled in her arms. He is hysterical and I immediately approach her thinking some horrible accident has happened.)

Me: “Are you okay?! What’s happened?”

Lady: “MY CHILD HAS JUST HAD BUBBLES BLOWN INTO HIS EYES! I WANT A FULL REFUND!”

Me: *trying sooooo hard not to smile* “Oh, no! First, can I help your son wash his eyes? We have a tap around the back of—”

Lady: *not moving* “He blew them directly into his eyes. This is absolutely disgusting.”

Me: “Okay, what show did you just see and where was the venue?”

Lady: “We saw Mr. Bubbleman and he was trying to blow his bubbles into the children’s eyes! We even sat at the back of the audience because I had a feeling this was going to happen and now look! I want a full refund and I don’t care about your ‘no refund policy’!”

Me: “I’m so sorry this has happened and while I can’t authorize a refund, I can quickly go speak to the producer of the show about what’s happened and he could possibly refund you directly?”

Lady: “I can’t believe this!” *she’s still holding her giant child* “This service is terrible. Why won’t you help my son? Mr. Bubbleman will lie! He’ll tell you he didn’t do it but he did! If he acts dumb, just you tell him that I’m going to have to go straight to hospital because of him!”

(Her bratty child isn’t even crying anymore and seems to be bored of the situation – trying to wiggle out his mum’s arms.)

Me: “Look, on behalf of the festival, I really apologise. If you stay here, I’ll run over and quickly speak to the producer.”

(I sprint to the venue and grab the producer and start to explain the situation, trying to be careful not to escalate the situation more. Before I even finish, he jumps in and just looks really sad.)

Producer: *sighs* “Yeah, refund her…”

Me: “Really? I mean, that’s total bull-s***! She’s accusing you of deliberately blowing bubbles in the children’s eyes?! I mean, that’s crazy! Your show is a bubble show; wouldn’t you assess the ‘risks’ before you even bought tickets?”

Producer: “Of course I know it’s complete bull-s***, but I learnt quickly in this business not to argue with over-bearing mothers with screaming, spoilt children.”

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The Idiot Cycle

| Germany | Family & Kids, Popular

(The gas station we are at has four pumps which are built in a rectangle. While our parents are inside to pay, my brother and I stay in the car. In front of us stands a young man with his small car, which has the tank trim on the left side, while he stands on the top right pump (meaning the pump is on his right side). He gets out, tries to pull the pump and realizes that the tube is too short. He shrugs and gets into his car. My brother and I are already watching with amusement.)

Me: *to my brother* “I bet he’ll start going in circles.”

Brother: “No way.”

(The young man starts his car and makes a beautiful u-turn to the opposite pump, gets out, and discovered that the tank doesn’t move by going in circles.)

Brother: “…”

(It took us a whole 10 minutes to gain enough composure to tell our parents why we were actually laughing.)

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Good Parenting Is Trans-parent

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Popular

(I am a female-to-male trans man. I haven’t been on my hormone meds for very long, but most people can’t tell that I was ever female-bodied. I am currently working the register with my unisex name tag on.)

Customer: *glances at my name tag* “That’s not usually a girl’s name.”

Me: “Well, I’m not a girl. That’s [total due], please.”

Customer: *pauses and then begins talking to me very condescendingly* “Listen, sweetheart. I know your type. You act like a tomboy all your life and you think you should play pretend and try to become a boy! Well, you’ll always be a woman, even if you’re a man-ish looking b****. Grow up.”

(I am in tears at this point and silently carry on with the transaction. A little boy who was in line next to her steps away from his mom.)

Boy: “Hey! That’s not very nice. He’s obviously a boy and you should respect that! You can’t be mean to someone just because they’re not like you. You should say you’re sorry.”

(The customer turns red, and the boy’s mom speaks up as well.)

Boy’s Mom: “Hmm, isn’t it sad when a six-year-old is better behaved than a forty-year-old?”

(The customer mumbled an apology and rushed out of the store, leaving her purchases on the counter. I offered the kind little boy and mother a discount on their books, but they declined and offered to buy me a scone from the coffee shop in our store, which I also declined. They stop in frequently now and always say hi!)

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