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Category: Family & Kids

Need To Sun-Screen Out The Inconsiderate Customers

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(It’s not unusual, in the middle of a transaction, for a family to notice that they’ve forgotten their sunscreen. As I’m whiter than a ghost, usually I need to wear sunscreen even in the shaded booth, so I bring my own bottle into the booth for protection. If a family who treats me nice, forgets their own sunscreen, I’ll let them use some of mine.)

Mom: “Oh, no! We forgot sunscreen!”

Dad: “Do you sell any of it in the park?”

Me: “We do, but I have to admit, it’s five dollars, it’s 15 SPF, and it’s the size of travel tube of toothpaste.”

Dad: “Oh, man!”

Me: “But… I actually have a bottle of 60 SPF for my own personal use. I’d be willing for you to use some for free.”

Dad: “Oh, thank you!”

(He turns to his wife who wasn’t paying attention to his conversation with me.)

Dad: “Honey, she says we can use her sunscreen.”

(I hand the woman the bottle, and she takes it. Suddenly, she puts it in the stroller and starts walking away.)

Me: “Wait! Wait! WAIT!”

(The dad stops his wife and grabs the bottle.)

Dad: “She meant, to borrow.”

Mom: “Oh.”

Trying To Level With You

| Murrieta, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(We have very strict rules on height requirements for our bigger rides that often create a problem with guests that are close to but not meeting the requirement, so much so that I bought myself a level out of my own pocket to get the most exact measurements possible.)

Me: “I’m afraid your son is about an inch away and will not be able to ride, but he does meet the requirements for most of the other rides.”

Customer: “You’re kidding me. This is f***ing ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m very sorry but it is a safety requirement.”

Customer: “Well, we JUST went to the doctor and the doctors said he was 56″ inches.”

Me: “Oh, my, it sounds like your doctor may have been eyeballing it a little, or taking a guess.”

Customer: “No, he’s doctor! He was doing doctor things! He said he was tall enough.”

Me: “Well, despite that we do have to go off of the measurements on our signs.”

Customer: “You have ruined his birthday! His whole birthday is ruined! We’re going someplace else.”

(The guest stormed off out the doors while giving me the evil eye the entire time. Once she was gone I turned to my coworkers and mimed shooting myself in the head with my level.)

Mayo-No-No

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working the register at a sandwich shop at a theme park. A customer walks in with her mother.)

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Do y’all have turkey sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It comes with your choice of chips, salad, or fruit.”

Customer: “Salad. I am on a diet so I can’t have any fat. By the way is your bread on the turkey sandwich fat free?”

Me: “Yes, I believe so. I can go ask our chef if you would like.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I think you are right. Is your turkey fat free?”

Me: “Yes, our turkey is lean, cooked and sliced right here.”

Customer: “Oh, that sounds good. Also are your tomatoes fat free?”

(At this point, the coworkers around me and this woman’s mother are stifling laughs.)

Me: “Yes… they are definitely fat free.”

Customer: *to her mother* “See, ma, I am doing this diet thing right.”

Me: “Might I mention that we have a mustard sauce on our sandwich that is not fat free, and includes mayo. Would you like me to get you one without it?”

Customer: “No. How can you eat a sandwich without mayo?”