Category: Family & Kids

Please Do Not Be Fed By The Customers

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I am a senior barn helper/junior instructor at a riding stable for children on the autism spectrum. One rider’s mother is dropping off her daughter and brings some food for the horses, including a large bag of apricots, which are bad for horses, and gourds, which are also not good for horses.)

Mother: *to daughter* “See, you just give them the apricots like this!”

Me: “Um, I don’t think apricots are really good for horses. Especially the pits.”

Mother: *gesturing to stable owner* “But she said it was okay! They’re just apricots!”

(The stable owner is talking to the senior instructor about the lesson schedule for today at this point.)

Me: *seeing I can’t do anything to stop her, since she’s already fed at least four apricots to one of the horses* “Just take the pit out first. And don’t force the horses to eat them. They’re sensitive to acidic foods.”

Mother: “Oh, okay!”

(She proceeds to take the pits out, but drops them on the floor outside one of the horse’s stalls. We have a dog at the stable, too, so I pick up the pits before he can eat them.)

Me: “Can you also put the pits over in the compost heap so the dog doesn’t get them, please? He could choke on them.”

Mother: “Oh, sure. And what about these gourds? My friend gave them to me and said the horses would love them.”

Me: “Well, horses don’t eat gourds, but maybe the goats will be interested.”

(Our goat appear rather fat from grazing constantly, but are actually quite agile and can get through tight spaces if need be, a fact the mother doesn’t seem to grasp.)

Mother: *trying to whack open a gourd against a wooden tack trunk* “Ugh. This thing won’t open. Do you happen to have a knife somewhere around here?”

Me: “Um, no, we don’t. Try that lemon cucumber. My goats like those.”

Mother: *breaking open lemon cucumber* “Oh, wow! This looks like a cucumber but…” *sniffs* “…it smells like a lemon!”

Me: “That’s why they call it a lemon cucumber. Here, I’ll offer it to the goats and you can just leave your gourd there on the trunk.”

Mother: *not paying attention* “Here, goat! Eat this!”

(She waves the lemon cucumber in the goat’s face. The goat, understandably, backs away, towards a gap you wouldn’t expect it to fit through. The mother goes to the other side of a shed to find the other goat, who also backs away. She comes back to the first goat, which is now gone.)

Mother: *looking around* “Where’d it go? It couldn’t have gone through that gap! Or under the shed! Where is it? Why’d it leave?”

Me: *to my co-volunteer* “Maybe it went through the gap because you’re shoving food it doesn’t want in its face?”

Co-Volunteer: “And maybe she should trust us when we say not to feed something to an animal?”

Not Sleeping On The Job

| Jersey City, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

(A man comes up to my till to purchase a few items. He has his two children with him, a boy and a girl, both of which I suspect are no older than five years old. The man and his children are very nice, friendly, and overall good customers. As I ring his purchases, the children are excited and happy, with the boy even giving me his own saved up money for a snack, with his father’s permission.)

Me: “Okay, sir, your total is [Total].”

(Just as he’s about to swipe his credit card, the little girl looks up at me and smiles sweetly.)

Girl: “Do you all sleep here?”

(Her father and I couldn’t help but laugh at this point.)

Me: *laughing, but politely* “No, no, we don’t sleep here. We just take turns coming here. In fact, someone else is coming when we all leave tonight.”

Girl: “Okay!” *she happily skips away with her father once the transaction is completed*

Speaking Up Can Get You Down

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel] in [City, State]. My name is [My Name]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: *with kids screaming in background, on a busy highway, on speaker* “WHAT?! SPEAK UP! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

Management Changes Prices; Blame Cashier

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(My mom and I are going to the movies. We always go to the same theater, around the same time, because we know the matinee times. Unbeknownst to us, the theater was recently bought out. The new owner limited the matinee times and changed ticket prices, as well as now charging tax for concessions. It’s a slow day, so at the moment you purchase tickets from concessions.)

Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you guys?”

Mom: “Two for [Movie]”

Cashier: “Two adults for [Movie]. That’ll be… [price].”

Mom: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry?”

Mom: “We get the matinee price. This is matinee time.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we recently changed management, and they changed the—”

Mom: “Are you serious?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; ma’am, but I don’t have any control—”

Mom: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Mom, it’s not her fault! If it’s such a big deal, I’ll pay!”

Mom: “No, no, we said we were going to see [Movie] and we’re going to see it. Whatever, here’s the money. We’re not getting any popcorn.”

(Mom pays the red-faced cashier and we get our tickets and go to our theater. When we sit down I look at my mom. Note that I’m a cashier at a fast food restaurant.)

Me: “I can’t believe you talked to her like that.”

Mom: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It’s not her fault that they changed anything and you yelled at her! If someone talked to me like that at work I would hate them! I guarantee that right now she’s rolling her eyes with her co-workers at the mean customer she just had.”

Mom: “I didn’t yell at her…”

Me: “Yeah, you did. You were incredibly rude. And I’m going back and getting myself a soda. If you hadn’t been so rude to her, I was going to offer to buy your snacks.”

(I grab my purse and storm out of the theater, feeling pretty vexed by my mother, who I usually view as one of the most awesome people in the world. I head back to concessions and to the same girl.)

Me: “Can I get a medium Dr. Pepper?”

Cashier: “No problem.”

Me: “And I’m really sorry for the way that my mom acted…”

Cashier: “It’s fine. I’ve been getting that a lot lately. Your total is [price that’s different from what I’m used to].”

Me: “Oh, man, they’re charging tax now, too? What jerks! People must be yelling at you all the time.”

(The cashier shrugs and takes my money, and I take my soda.)

Me: “Once again, I’m really, really sorry for my mother.”

Cashier: “Really, it’s fine. Enjoy your movie!”

Me: “Have a good day!”

(I head back to my theater and sit down next to my mom.)

Me: “I apologized to the girl for how you acted.”

Mom: “Whatever…”

(As I shove my receipt into my purse I notice something odd and smile.)

Me: “She must have appreciated it; she only charged me for a small soda.”

(My mom and I were pretty passive-aggressive at each other for the rest of the day, but she ended up apologizing. I hope that I made that cashier’s day better.)

Whistling With A Specific Porpoise

| USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I work as a cashier. It’s a slow Monday, so I’m at the front tidying up shelves. A woman wearing dark sunglasses and holding the harness of a dog comes walking in and stops about five feet from the door.)

Me: “Hello!”

Woman: “Hello!” *starts whistling loudly and walks a few more feet into the store* “Mom!”

Me: *raise eyebrows*

Woman: *sees me looking at her* “It’s okay. We have echolocation!” *starts whistling loudly again*

(After a few more seconds, nobody has answered her whistling.)

Woman: “Nope. Not this store.”

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