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Category: Family & Kids

French Disconnection, Part 3

| France | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I’m a waitress in a fancy restaurant when four tourists come in: a father, his son, his daughter, and their stepmom. They sit down and are looking over the menu. While French is my primary language I also speak English very well.)

Daughter: “Oh, dear! I can’t understand this. Can one of you guys help me?”

Son: “Of course, sis. Here…”

(He begins translating the whole menu while the dad is also listening in. The stepmom on the other hand looks really bored and annoyed. Finally, the girl has made up her mind.)

Girl: “Thank you, [Son]. What would I do without you?”

Stepmom: “I’m quite fluent myself! Here! Let me prove it.”

(She flags me over with a snap of the fingers, and the four start ordering. To my delight, the four of them, despite the earlier worries, do a great job ordering. Finally, the stepmom hands me the menu and smirks at her stepdaughter.)

Stepmom: “Listen to this.”

(She turns and says something. To her surprise, we are all laughing like crazy.)

Stepmom: “What? Why are you laughing?”

Me: “Ma’am. You just said ‘my son is a cardboard box.'”

(The lady hangs her head in shame for the rest of the meal. When it is time to go, the daughter tips me generously.)

Daughter: “Thank you for putting my stepmom in her place. She took us on this trip to prove she was supreme, but this made the trip amazing!”

Related:
French Disconnection, Part 2
French Disconnection

A Pain In The Nugget

, | Noblesville, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(My brother works at a fast food place. The weekly supply of food is delivered Monday mornings, so by Sunday nights the store has usually run out of something. This particular week a local school had hosted a major youth baseball competition, so there’s been more business than usual and the school had neglected to inform the nearby restaurants about the event. The store is caught completely unprepared. By Sunday night they are out of chicken nuggets, one of their biggest sellers. My brother, working the front counter, has been telling customers upfront that the restaurant is out of some foods. Most of the customers have been nice about it.)

Lady: “I want a bacon cheeseburger meal, a large fry, two large drinks, and a ten piece chicken nugget meal.”

Brother: “I’m sorry, but we are currently out of large drink cups and—”

Lady: “You’re out of large cups? But that’s the size I always get!”

Brother: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but we do have medium cups. Will that do?”

Lady: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

Brother: “We are also out of chicken nuggets. We do still have chicken patties, so if you’d like a chicken sandwich instead we could get that for you.”

Lady: “Out of chicken nuggets?! How can you be out of chicken nuggets? Don’t you know that everyone loves chicken nuggets? My kids will only eat nuggets, and I’m not leaving here until my kids have nuggets!”

Brother: “I’m sorry, but we have had more business than expected this week and have run out of nuggets. Would your kids like a hamburger instead?”

Lady: “No, they would not! They only eat chicken nuggets! I demand you sell me nuggets!”

Brother: “We are out of nuggets. Maybe they would eat a plain chicken sandwich? If they take off the bun the chicken patty would taste just like the nuggets.”

Lady: “What part of ‘they only eat nuggets’ do you not understand? Let me speak to a manager! I’ll get my nuggets and you’ll be fired for not giving them to me! Just watch!”

(My brother fetches the manager, who had just been explaining to someone at the drive-through the same thing my brother’s been explaining to this lady. He is already frustrated and does not want to deal with angry customers.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Lady: “This boy refuses to sell me nuggets! I want him fired for his bad service!”

Manager: “We don’t have nuggets. Order something else.”

Lady: “I cannot believe the rudeness here! That’s it; I’m leaving! You just lost a paying customer here! I hope you’re happy!”

(She stormed out. A minute later two kids about six and eight years old come in.)

Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said we had to come and get our food. Can we get some chicken nuggets, please?”

Brother: “I’m sorry, but we’re out of nuggets.”

Eight-Year-Old: “Then can we get plain hamburgers, please?”

Brother: “Of course. That’ll be $4.00.”

Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said you and the boss guy were big dummies. You don’t seem like dummies. It’s not your fault you don’t have any nuggets left.”

Brother: “Your mother also said you only eat chicken nuggets.”

Six-Year-Old: “I don’t even like nuggets. I wanted a hamburger anyway.”

(The manager let my brother give the kids each a free ice cream cone for being polite. They thanked my brother and left the restaurant smiling. Hopefully they’ll teach their mother something about manners!)

Looking For Rated S

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I’m working at a well-known video game chain store when two of our regulars – a man and his teenage son – walk into the store. They browse the shelves for a while before coming over to me.)

Father: *places Call of Duty game on counter* “What is this game rated ‘M’ for?”

Me: “Violence and language, if I remember correctly. Let me check to make sure.”

Father: “No sexual content?”

Me: *checking computer* “No, sir.”

Father: *to son* “Come on, dude, let’s find another game.”

Very Grim Job Prospects

| CT, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I work retail and overhear a mother and child.)

Child: “Is that a scythe?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Child: “Mom, can I have it?”

Mother: “Why?”

Child: “So I can reap souls.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Child: “I want to be the Grim Reaper by the time I’m 15, and then retire by the age of 30.”

Me: “She’s joking, right?”

Mother: “No…”

The Mother Of All Refunder Blunders

| Finland | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I buy an album of a certain artist as a birthday present for my mother. I am not sure that I haven’t mixed up my father’s and my mother’s favorite artists, so I made sure she can exchange the album in case I have. It turns out I did mix up the artists. A few days after her birthday, my mother comes to visit me and she is fuming. She is usually very calm and nice.)

Mother: “You need to call to the store where you bought this from! They refuse to exchange it! Here, at least I got their number when I was there.”

(She hands me a post-it note with a phone number written on it.)

Me: “Really? They assured me they would.”

Mother: “I went there and they wouldn’t. I lost my temper a little and caused a bit of a scene, but still they didn’t.”

Me: “You had the receipt and everything?”

Mother: “No, I lost it, but that shouldn’t matter in this day and age of computers and god-d*** records of everything, should it?!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call them and let’s see what’s up.”

(I call the number on the post-it note and all the while my mother is ranting in the background. I can’t hear the clerk introducing herself properly.)

Me: “Yeah, hi. I’m calling about an exchange that my mother tried to get done in your store.”

(There is a foreboding silence.)

Me: “Hello?”

Clerk: “Yes, I’m here. Does your mother happen to have [a bit unusual color hair] and blue rimmed glasses?”

Me: “Yes.”

Clerk: “Well, you can tell her that she is banned for life from this store! She came in here demanding to exchange a CD. She didn’t have a receipt AND the CD was never bought from this store in the first place! She ended up getting all our managers to cater to her and finally threw the CD at my head!”

Me: “Wait, is this not [Music Store]?”

Clerk: “NO!”

Me: “…Uh, could you please hold on for a second?” *to my mother* “Did you really go to the wrong store?!”

Mother: “Who cares! They sell CDs in both! What does it matter to them where I got it from?”

Me: “Trust me, it matters. Did you throw the CD at some poor girl?!”

Mother: “It couldn´t have hurt her! What is she whining about? It is ME whose feelings have been hurt and time wasted!”

Me: “Mom, it most definitely is not you who has been hurt here!”

Me: *to clerk* “I am so sorry about my mother! Thank you very much for not making a bigger issue out of her behavior. She will never bother you again; I’ll make sure of it.”

Clerk: “Well, okay. Thanks and bye.”

Me: *to mother* “Are you insane or what?!”

(It took me almost an hour to get my mother to understand what she had done. This required explaining some quite basic facts about how societies work. When she finally did understand she was very embarrassed. I took a box of chocolates and a note from my mother to the music store and the same clerk was luckily there. She was really nice and cute and was already able to laugh about the matter. I would have asked her out, but I think there was no future to be had with her and her potential mother-in-law.)

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