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Category: Family & Kids

The Mother Knows Her Call Of Duty

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(I am working at a customer support center for a popular online video game.)

Me: “Hello, support.”

Caller: “Hi, my son can’t get into his account.”

(I verify her information and pull up the account.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems you son’s account was suspended because he violated community guidelines.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

(I get the report open and my jaw drops. He was reported for harassment. Gamers are infamous trash-mouths, but this one of the disgusting guys who harassed our female players. And I have his mother on the line.)

Me: “It looks like your son was reported for harassing another player. Do you know if he was using his account last Saturday?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, that was him. What did he do? Did he swear?”

Me: “Among other things. Do you have an email address that I can send a copy of our suspension notice and transcript of the event in question?”

(She gives me her email and keeps talking while I type and send.)

Caller:  “I don’t see how you can ban him for a little swearing? I read the rating; don’t the characters swear? What did he say that was so bad?”

Me: “I am not comfortable repeating it. Did you get the email?”

Caller: “Yes, I—”

(She goes very quiet.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *she talks in that deadly, angry-mother tone*“Thank you for informing me of this. Unfortunately I will need to cancel his account.”

Me: “I will go ahead and do that for you. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I have to go talk to my son now.”

(I didn’t stop grinning all day long, knowing at least one online harasser met justice.)

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Search Your Feelings, You Know It To Be True

| KY, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV

(It is October, 1999. I am in the local fabric store with some friends, getting costuming stuff. We run across a woman buying up materials for making an Anakin Skywalker costume for her nine-year-old son that’s with her. He really, really likes ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace;’ it is his favorite movie and he has come to be a huge fan of ‘Star Wars.’)

Boy: “I’ve watched the original trilogy of films every week and that I’ve seen Episode I in theaters a dozen times and can’t wait for it to come out on tape!”

Mom: “I hope my boy grows up to be just like Anakin!” *she then goes on talking about what a great role model Anakin is for young boys and how she encourages her boy to be like Anakin… cue the awkward pause and cringe by me and my friends*

Me: “Uh, do you know that Anakin Skywalker grows up to be Darth Vader?”

Mom: “Don’t be crazy. You’re making that up. There’s no way sweet little Anakin could ever become evil like that. Besides, he doesn’t grow up to be Vader. They have different names after all.”

Me: “These are prequels. They are set decades before the original films, right? Okay, the hero of the original films was Luke Skywalker right? Okay, remember the “No, I am your father.” part that Vader says?”

(That is when it clicked to her. She’d never put it together. She got a look of abject horror on her face when she realized it was true. She grabbed her boy by the hand, dragging him out of the store, saying he was going to be something else for Halloween, and he was not allowed to ever watch Star Wars ever again and she was getting rid of all his Star Wars stuff because it was filled with such bad role models for children.)

The Fruit Salad Doesn’t Fall Very Far From The Tree

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m serving a mother and her young son.)

Me: *to son* “What salads would you like on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, he won’t eat salads. I don’t know why!”

Me: “That’s okay. Would you like any salads on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, no, I don’t eat salad.”

Me: “…”

Weird And Cheered

| Saint Paul, MN, USA | Family & Kids

(I work for my university calling alum and asking for donations to the school. A child who sounds about five or six picks up.)

Kid: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I please speak to [Alum]?”

Kid: *to mom* “Mom, there’s some weird lady on the phone for you.”

Alum: “Oh, my god, I am so sorry!”

Me: *laughing hysterically* “That brightened my entire day.”

Alum: “I’ll give him a talking-to later.”

Me: “No, no, I promise. It was adorable.”

Taking A Hardline On The Hardback

| VA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids

(A lady approaches the counter with several items.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Doing fine, thanks”

Me: “So you found everything okay?”

(Ignoring my question she looks at who appears to be her mother and says.)

Customer: *to mom* “I am not buying that blanket. If you want it you can buy it.”

Customer’s Mom: “Okay. That’s fine, I guess.”

(As I finish ringing up everything else I get to the books and notice they are hardbacks which are $3 so I ring them up accordingly.)

Customer: *noticing price of books* “Wait, the sign says children’s books are 50c.”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry; let me fix that for you.”

(I pull the books back out and double check what kind of books they are.)

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately these are not children’s books. They are hardbacks and are $3.”

Customer: *visibly getting angry* “They were in the children’s section, so they are 50c.”

(At this point a line is forming.)

Me: “I can double check with the manager if you would like, but these books are moved around frequently in that section.”

(I walk over to the manager with the books and tell her the situation.)

Me: “The customer is saying these two ‘Adult’ Books are for her child and therefore 50c.”

Manager: *seeing the mostly nude woman on the front in a seductive outfit* “This is a thrift store. Just because she “found” those books in the children’s section doesn’t make them so. If she really fusses about it say you can give them to her for the paperback price but certainly these should not be for a child.”

(I walk back over to the customer.)

Me: “The manager said these are indeed not children’s books.”

(As the customer is about to reach mental break down status.)

Me: “But I can give them to you for paperback price if that would help this one time.”

Customer: “Fine! I can’t believe you act this way.”

(After she leaves the customers behind her ask what happened and complimented me on handling the situation nicely and I tell her what happened.)

New Customer: *jokingly and laughing* “Yeah! And I found this jeans in the t-shirt section. Can I have them for a dollar? …Who gives their child Fifty Shades Of Grey?!”

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