Category: Family & Kids

Merchandise From The Mouth Of Babes

| Fremont, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am working on the sales floor when I notice a large pile of merchandise that has been dumped on a shelf. A couple of women are walking down the aisle with a child in the cart. I have a sneaky suspicion that they are the ones who had done it, so I say loudly into my radio:)

Me: “I just found a bunch of merchandise someone threw on a shelf. It’s going to take me quite some time to put it all away.”

(The little girl in the cart, around four years old, speaks up.)

Girl: “You did that, Mommy. You shouldn’t have.”

(Made my day!)

It’s A Tall Order And They Won’t Let It Slide

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work at a local pool. Our policy is that children under 48″ in height are not allowed to ride the waterslides, period. If they are just barely tall enough, we will measure them and provide a wristband so the lifeguards know they’re okay to slide. On this particular day, I’m working the front desk. A mother comes in with her obviously-too-short daughter and asks to have her measured for a wristband.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your daughter isn’t tall enough.”

Customer: “Seriously? She’s only, like, an inch too short!”

Me: “Actually, she’s about three inches too short, ma’am. Unfortunately, I cannot give her a wristband unless she’s tall enough. If she were to get injured, our insurance would be void and we could be sued.”

Customer: “But I’m her mother. I give you permission.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that doesn’t help. The slides are very fast and if the patron isn’t a strong swimmer, they can be swept under the current. It is very likely that your daughter could get hurt on the slides.”

(The mother huffs and puffs and storms away, telling her daughter not to worry because she’s friends with the owner. Later, I’m on the slide tower and allow a younger boy with a wristband to slide down. Moments later, I hear a commotion below. The same customer from earlier has confronted the little boy about having a wristband, and is forcing him to stand back-to-back with her daughter to compare their heights.)

Customer: *screaming up at me* “See? They’re the same height! Why does he have a wristband and she doesn’t?”

(Sighing, I walk downstairs, bringing our portable measurement stick with me. I hold it up to each of the kids, and find that the boy is well over the height requirement.)

Me: “Ma’am, as you can see, this child is tall enough to ride. Your daughter is not. You cannot yell at other people’s children in this park, and if I see it happen again, you will be banned. And for the record, I’m surprised you’re so adamant about your daughter riding a slide that could severely injure her.”

(The customer had the decency to look ashamed, at least. Some parents just can’t tell their children NO!)

Thankful For The Child

| Scotland, UK | Family & Kids

(I have served a highly difficult and sulky customer, who has her young son with her. She has just paid for her food.)

Me: “Thanks; enjoy your day.”

Customer’s Son: “Thanks! Mummy, you never said thank you to the lady!”

Customer: “What?!”


(The customer never did say thanks, but had the good grace to look embarrassed!)

Head First Into An Incident Report

| Central Valley, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I look up to see a small child falling face first out of his mother’s cart, slamming his head very hard on the floor.)

Mother: “AAHHHH! OH, MY GOD!”

(I am very startled but remain calm and follow procedure.)

Me: *on walkie-talkie* “Code green: electronics.”

Mother: “Oh, my god! Call paramedics!”

(Knowing the costliness of ambulances, I pick up the phone but ask more questions before calling.)

Me: “Security and management is on the way; what happened exactly?”

Mother: “OH, MY GOD! I DON’T KNOW! I had him standing in the cart and he just got excited and fell out. Oh, my god! Can you, like, get someone to check him out or something…” *starts behaving very awkwardly*

Me: *baffled* “Well, uh… I mean… No one here at [Store] is a trained medical professional or anything.”

(By this time, security and all managers on the floor are responding, on the way with ice for the poor little child.)

Me: *to the hurt child* “Hey, how do you feel, bud? Does it hurt?” *the child stands there holding his head, responding only with sniffles*

Me: *to mother* “Is he normally pretty talkative?”

Mother: “Ya…” *awkward still*

Me: “How old is he?”

Mother: “Three…” *by this time she has lost all her enthusiasm and is just awkwardly staring*

Me: “Okay, so I think you should definitely take him to a doctor to make sure he’s not concussed or anything. Maybe the walk-in right down the road?”

Mother: *still awkwardly staring* “But can I, like, fill out a report or something…”

Manager: “Was there a spill? Did you slip?”

Mother: “No…” *looks around* “But shouldn’t there be a sign or something?”

(Every cart everywhere has a caution printed right on it for this reason exactly. Ours specifically states “Do not let child stand in cart. Child can fall out causing severe head injury.” Security later reviewed video to observe the incident. Turned out she was pushing that cart super fast with her kid standing in it and stopped abruptly. Nice.)


| Atlanta, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A teenage girl who was seen earlier in my emergency department shift for vomiting has returned. When she was discharged earlier she was given prescriptions and told to only eat clear liquids for 24 hours. Her mother is with her.)

Patient: “I stopped vomiting while I was here but it started again when I was at home.”

Me: “Did you take the medicine you were prescribed?”

Mother: “The doctor said she should only eat clear liquids. That medicine is a pill. She can’t take it because it is not a clear liquid.”

Me: “Well, she should only eat clear liquids except for the medicine. The medicine will help control the vomiting.”

Mother: *starting to get louder and agitated* “I know what the doctor told her! I was sitting right here! You are not even the doctor! You don’t know! She can’t take that medicine because she can ONLY have clear liquids!”

(At this point then girl vomits again and I can clearly see undigested hamburger meat in the emesis bag.)

Me: “Did you eat a hamburger after you left the hospital earlier?”

Mother: “Well, she was hungry! She had to eat something!”

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