icon_familykids

Category: Family & Kids

Mother Knows Best And All

| New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(A somewhat well-known professional athlete and minor celebrity is making a home-delivery order. He is with an older woman.)

Me: “Did you find everything all right today?”

Customer: *grunts*

Me: “Can you please fill out this form for delivery?”

Customer: *grunts*

Me: “Your address where you’d like it delivered?”

Customer: “Uh…” *turns to woman* “Mom, what’s my address?”

(Gives address.)

Me: “… and your signature?”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “Signature. Autograph?”

Customer: “Uh, oh, right!”

Me: “Can you please provide you cell phone number for the delivery?”

Customer: “Um…”

Me: “Your cell number?”

Customer: “Mom, what’s my cell phone number?”

Oh, Boy!

| New Zealand | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m working the checkout on a fairly light day. The next person in queue has a young girl with her, about six or seven years old. The girl pulls out a hat from her pocket and puts it on, then reaches for an energy drink on display.)

Mum: “Sweetie, you can’t have that. They’re not good for you.”

(The girl’s face and shoulders drop as she is visibly and suddenly deflated. She takes off her hat and puts the can back.)

Girl: “But mum… I was Mikey! He has them all the time! How did you know it was me? Mikey told me when I wear his hat you would think I was him and would let me buy it, and wouldn’t know it was me.”

Mum: “Oh, sweetie, I’m your mummy. I would recognize you anywhere, no matter whose hat you were wearing.”

(The girl calms down, but is still upset. As her mother and I exchange pleasantries, the girl puts the hat back on and pulls it down low over her face, but I can still see her lips trembling.)

Me: “What a lovely boy you have there, ma’am. He looks really big and strong.”

(The girl cranes her neck up to look at me under the low visor, her eyes huge and shining.)

Me: “Hi, young man. What’s your name?”

Girl: *smiling and trying to fake a deeper voice* “Mikey! Mikey! Michael.”

Me: “That’s a great name, son. You take good care of your mum there, okay?”

(She nods gravely, completely happy and satisfied. As they walk out, I hear the girl’s tiny voice.)

Girl: “Mummy, mummy, I knew it! I knew it would work! Mikey said it would! Do you think daddy would know it’s me, too?”

(The mother turns and gives me a thankful smile and a wink before leaving.)

Suddenly, Parenting Goes Out The Window

, | Australia | Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

(I work in a call centre for a company that does roadside assistance for cars that have either broken down or need a tow. We also provide a free service to get babies out of locked cars as this is classed as an emergency situation. It is one of the hottest days of summer.)

Me: “Could I please start with your registration or membership card number.”

Caller: “I’VE LOCKED MY BABY IN THE CAR! SHE’S ONLY A MONTH OLD! PLEASE, HELP!”

Me: “Okay. First of all, I need your location and the make and model of your car.”

Caller: “I’m at [popular shopping centre] and my car is [Expensive Brand] [newest model sedan].”

Me: “Due to these cars being so new our patrols cannot open them from the outside and will have to smash a window. The windscreen would be the safest, as it is the cheapest to replace and also the furthest away from the baby.”

Caller: “NO! THIS IS A BRAND NEW CAR! YOU HAVE TO UNLOCK THE DOOR!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I have sent two patrols to your location. They will smash the window to get the baby out as it is a hot day and the temperature in the car could kill the baby!”

Caller: “I DON’T CARE! YOU ARE NOT SMASHING THE WINDOW!”

Me: “Okay. Well, the patrols should be there within five minutes. Please wait by the car and stay calm.” *hangs up*

(I immediately call the police and ambulance so they can attend the scene as well. I later hear that the lady attacked the patrol officer when he tried to smash the window, all while screaming and swearing about her new car. The police promptly arrested her for assault and endangering a child, and the windscreen was broken to get the baby out.)