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Category: Family & Kids

Seize The (Mother’s) Day

, | VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(It is Mother’s Day, and my mother has had a hard and disappointing day. Due to a failed dinner by her husband, I take her to a fast-food restaurant at about 9pm. She starts speaking at the counter.)

Mom: “Happy Mother’s Day to me, at [fast food restaurant] at nine at night.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I’ve been here all day.”

Mom: “Oh, really!? Wow.”

(We finish ordering and eat our food. As we are leaving, my mother is staring into the kitchen. The cashier, thinking we need something, comes over. We wave her away. We get into the car, but my mother stops me from starting the engine.)

Mom: “I have decided we should do something for the woman in there. Here I was complaining, while they have been working all day. They probably weren’t able to spend time with their families.”

(We drive to the nearby store. She buys two bouquets of flowers, and two boxes of chocolates. We go back to the restaurant. My mom approaches the cashier.)

Mom: “You’re a mother, aren’t you?”

Cashier: “Yes, I am.”

Mom: “Well, I thought you deserved these.”

(Mom gives the woman the flowers and chocolates. The cashier thanks her repeatedly, looking on the verge of tears. My mother leaves feeling a lot better. Even though her day wasn’t what she had hoped it would be, she at least got to make someone else’s better.)

His Tone Requires A Gear Shift

| UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Top

(My uncle owns a chain of bike shops. We’re having a meal with my grandparents, and have gathered at the shop waiting for my cousin to finish his shift. An obnoxious customer is giving him trouble.)

Customer: “You are useless! Do you even know anything about bikes?”

Cousin: “When I’m not here, I race them.”

Customer: “Don’t take that tone with me!”

Cousin: “I wasn’t trying to take any tone—”

Customer: “Do you know who I am?! I’m the owner’s brother, and I will have you fired!”

(I am unable to contain myself, and turn to my brother.)

Me: “Did you hear that, bro? We’ve got another uncle!”

Customer: “…What?”

(The customer turns to see the crowd of us waiting.)

Dad: “I have another brother?”

Granddad: *to my grandmother* “Was this while I was away at sea? How could you?”

Grandmother: “All the jokes about a child in every port, and you were hiding THIS?”

Customer: “I… er…”

Uncle: “Well you don’t need to ring me; I’m here already! What has my son done this time?”

(The customer runs out. My dad starts shouting after him in a bad Italian accent.)

Dad: “You don’t a messa with the family!”

Grandmother: *to my granddad* “Well that one’s definitely yours.”

Acting Pendantic

| CA, USA | Family & Kids

Customer: “Which of your pendants are for little boys?”

Me: “A lot of our pendants would be great for a boy! Typically, the girls usually like the smaller, round ones. The boys usually like the larger, square ones.”

(The customer glares at me.)

Customer: “Well, I think that my boy would like this one.”

(The customer points to a small, round pendant.)

Me: “That’s great! These pendants are—”

Customer: “I think he could wear any of these.”

Me: “So do I. All of the designs are fairly unisex; it just depends on his preference.”

Customer: “I think that girls should be able to wear the square ones.”

Me: “They absolutely can, my aunt actually wears the one—”

Customer: “I don’t think you should tell people what gender can’t wear which.”

Me: “I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, but I do believe all of our pendants are suitable for both girls and boys. If I recall, you did ask which ones were for boys.”

Customer: “I’m pretty sure that you’re being sexist! What if my boy likes this one?”

(She points to a very specific round pendant of a lady. My eyes widen, as I only fear a bad situation going worse.)

Me: “Uh… I suppose you’re right. I’m sorry; I would not recommend that for a young child.”

Customer: “And why not!?”

Me: “…because that symbol means ‘fertility’.”

Sanity Hanging By A Shoe-String

| Napa, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I work in the sports store’s shoe department. A woman comes in with a group of seven kids behind her, and marches straight up to me.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [store]; how can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I need to get shoes for my kids.”

Me: “Alright, I can help with that. Which children need shoes?”

Woman: “All of them.”

Me: “…all of them?”

Woman: “Yes, each of them are a different size, too. I also want to get them each three pairs of shoes. Make sure all of the shoes are different, because they don’t want shoes that are like each others. And hurry it up, would you? I don’t have all day!”

Me: *whimpers silently*

Bigots Don’t Get A Discount

| Germany | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I work at the ticket office of a museum. Tickets are €4 for children, and €6 for adults. We also have a family ticket for €17. A mother with two children comes in.)

Customer: “I’d like a family ticket for me and my kids.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’d actually be cheaper to buy three separate tickets.”

Customer: “Are you trying to tell me we’re not a family just because I’m a single mum? I can’t believe you’re discriminating against single parents!”

Me: “I’d never. In fact, I was raised by a single mother myself.”

Customer: “What if a gay couple came in with two children? Would you give them a family ticket?”

Me: “Yes, I would, because it’s a better deal for them.”

Customer: “So, those fancy rainbow families get a discount, but a hard-working single mum of two who can hardly make ends meet doesn’t?”

(Before I can respond, the customer grabs her children and storms off.)

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