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Category: Family & Kids

The Return: Uncut

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m getting my hair trimmed. Beside me is a four-year old boy, who’s just finishing his own haircut.)

Boy: *scowling* “I don’t like my new haircut! Return it!”

Mother: “… Return it?”

Boy: “Yeah! You said that if I didn’t like my new haircut, that they could change it. Like when we changed my red shirt at [Clothing Store] for the green shirt! I want it back the way it was! Return it!”

(Luckily my haircut was finished. I left while the mother was trying to explain to the increasingly unhappy little boy the difference between an exchange and a change, and why they couldn’t return his haircut.)

Couldn’t Really Blame Him For Frying

| NY, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m at a public pool that has pretty lenient employees at the “Snack Shack.” It should be noted that at the Shack, the customer pays BEFORE receiving their food.)

Employee: “Fries are ready!”

Little Boy: “My dad ordered those.” *takes fries and runs away*

(A few minutes later…)

Man: “Hi, I ordered my fries a while ago. Are they ready yet?”

Employee: “Uh, yeah. Your son just came by and already took them.”

Man: “What? I don’t have a son…”

Employee: *widens eyes* “Wait… What? That little lucky punk! He stole— argh. Sorry, I’ll get you your fries. Ugh…”

Pregnancy Test Versus God’s Test

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(Two male customers approach my line not knowing each other. The first appears to be a teenager and the second seems to be in his late 20s. The younger of the two approaches first with only a pregnancy test, which we offer in our ‘family planning’ section.)

Older Customer: *to me* “Pregnancy test? This is what’s wrong with teens today, right? All of them think they’re adults and decide to f*** each other.” *to the younger customer* “God hates you! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(The older customer continues going on about the younger customer, and I’m about to say something when the younger customer turns around.)

Younger Customer: “Sir, I would like to get one thing straight with you. This pregnancy test isn’t for me. It’s for my sister who refused to get out of the car because she was terrified that she’d be judged for buying one. I went straight to get this test, grabbed it off the shelf, and walked around the store a few times to prove a point. Not one person has said a thing about me until now.”

(The older customer appears like he’s going to respond when the younger customer continues. At this point people have begun to stare.)

Younger Customer: “Furthermore, I have to admit that I find it funny that you, of all people, are the one to react, claiming that God hates me. You decided to preach about the evils of lust when a quick look at your cart would suggest you are a worse slave to it.”

(The younger customer proceeded to take two particular items out of the older customer’s cart: a naughty magazine and an ultra-large bottle of lotion! The younger customer said this entire thing without once breaking eye contact with the older customer, or breaking stride. Embarrassed, the older customer pulled out of the lane, which by now had formed a line of at least seven people, and went to a register several lanes away.)