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Category: Family & Kids

Allow Me To (Mind)Read You The Menu

| Solon, OH, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(It’s a very busy night, and I am currently waiting on five tables. My current customer is an older male.)

Me: “Sir, what can I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “Oh, you know.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, you know what I want.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

(The customer looks at his son for help.)

Son: “Dad, you have to tell her what you want to eat.”

Customer: “She KNOWS what I want.”

Son: “Just order some food Dad. She isn’t a mind reader.”

Customer: “Steak.”

Me: “What kind, sir? We have sirloin, filet, t-bone—”

Customer: “Oh, you know.”

(This proceeds for about five minutes, selecting his steak, the temperature, and sides. Finally I get to the son, who has been deciphering the conversation.)

Me: “And for you, sir?”

Son: “… I forgot.”

Great Minds Think Alike

| GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working in a fast food sub shop when a nice regular walks in. Behind in line are a small child and his mother.)

Me: “A cheesesteak sandwich with no onions and a medium drink, [Regular]?”

Regular: “As always.” *pays and leaves*

Small Child: “You knew exactly what that guy wanted! Do you READ MINDS?! Tell me what I want to eat!”

(The mother mouths to me behind her son’s back.)

Me: “You want a… peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

Small Child: “Well… what kind of jelly do I want?”

(The mother mouths to me again.)

Me: “Hmm… grape!”

Small Child: “Wow, you do read minds! Mommy, she reads minds!”

The Father Of All Bad Examples

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work at an indoor children’s play place. Leaving with kids who aren’t yours could be a problem, so we stamp a different number on every family’s hand, You can’t leave with a child who has a separate number. I am working the front counter where I have to stamp a number on the family’s hands, work the register, answer the phone, and check family’s hands to let them out the door. Sometimes it’s overwhelming working by yourself.)

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Indoor Play Area]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’d like to get a birthday party room for my son.”

Me: “Okay, give me the date and I’ll start looking up times for you.”

(As I am looking up times for the caller, an enraged father comes up to me.)

Father: “HEY! WHERE’S MY SON!?”

Me: *caught completely off guard * “What!?”

Father: “WHERE IS MY SON?! YOU LET MY SON WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR! WHERE THE H*** IS MY SON?”

Me: “Sir, the door that you go out of is locked and I have been keeping an eye on this door. I’m sure your son is still in here and is in the the [play area] somewhere.”

Father: “YOU LET MY SON OUT THIS DOOR! IS HE IN THE PARKING LOT? IF HE GETS HIT, I’M KICKING YOU’RE A**! HE GETS HIT, I’M SUING YOU!”

(Some back and forth goes on like this for a minute. I am almost ready to go into the parking lot to find his son when some other father in the [play area], actually playing with his child and keeping an eye on him, speaks up.)

Other Father: “Hey [Father], isn’t this your son?”

(The father looks up and sees his son directly above us in the [play area] watching this whole little episode. He looks back at me, doesn’t say a word, and walks away. I sit there for a few seconds, collecting myself.)

Caller: “Is someone yelling at you?”

Me: “Oh, shoot. Sorry, ma’am. I completely forgot you were still on the phone.”

Caller: “Haha, that’s quite all right. That guy is kind of a d***.”

(I set up the birthday party, and then went on working. I’m closing this night, too, so I have the distinct pleasure of having to check this father’s hand to make sure it’s his son. They finally decide to leave after a while. As they walk up to the door.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I have to check your hands to make sure this is your son.”

(They show me their numbers and he is, in fact, this boy’s father.)

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(The father never said a word to me or made eye contact. What a great example of how to be a man he is setting for his son.)