Category: Family & Kids

Pray She Doesn’t Order The Number Two

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A woman and her two kids come in looking for the washrooms. An employee tells her that they are outside and around the corner, near the drive-through. She leaves to go find them.)

Coworker: *to me* “Oh my God! Come see this!”

Me: “Yeah?”

(I walk over to the drive-through window and poke my head out. There, in the middle of the drive-through, is the woman holding one of her kids up horizontally as the child urinates on the drive-through in front of me while holding up several vehicles. She looks up and sees me, looks me straight in the eye the entire time, and finishes without a word.)

Me: *to my coworkers* “I’m going for break.”

Music Is Ageless

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, School

(I am a 21-year-old receptionist at a music school. One evening, there is a student waiting for his lesson in the reception area.)

Me: “Hi there. How old are you?”

Student: “8 years old. How old are you?”

Me: *smiles* “How old do you think I am?”

Student: “I dunno. You look really old.”

*silence*

Student: “Yeah, you look like you’re like, 17 or something.”

Kids Will Send Any Parent To The Funny Pharm

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am taking a refill order over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to refill a couple of prescriptions. This one I have the number for.”

(She proceeds to give me the number, and while I am running the prescription through her insurance I hear some kids playing in the background.)

Me: “Okay, so that one went through just fine. What is the next one?”

Customer: “I don’t have the number, but can you look it up for me? It’s my birth control.”

(I look in the customer’s file and sure enough it’s there. But while I am running it, the playing in the background has turned into a serious screaming and fighting match.)

Customer: *embarrassed* “And this is why I am refilling the birth control. Can’t you tell?”

Good Employees Can Fill In The Blanks

| Santa Clarita, CA, USA | Family & Kids

(It is 2000. I am working in the electronics department at a well-known chain department store, when a boy of about 13 years old walks up to my counter.)

Boy: “Um… like, uh… do you, like, uh… have any, uh… like, uh… they’re like, um… they’re like, uh, movies… uh… but, like… they, like… they don’t… they, like, don’t have anything on them?”

Me: *after staring for a moment* “Do you mean blank videocassettes?”

Boy: “Yeah!”

Get The Independent Jeans

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(A young girl drives a cart load of her younger sister and some clothing to my register. I always hate to begin checking children out without their parents present. This girl appears to be about seven years old, and the younger sister is three. The seven year old begins to grab items out of the buggy when she realizes that her sister is stepping on some of her items. She begins fussing at her sister as if she is her mother.)

Seven year old: *to her sister* “I done told you not to be standing on my stuff. Get out of this buggy, little girl!”

Me: “Let’s wait to check you out until mom is ready okay, sweetie?”

Seven year old: “She’s ready!” *yells to her mother, who is still shopping* “Let’s go!”

Mom: “Okay, I’m ready!”

(I begin scanning her items and come upon a pair of jeans that is on sale.)

Me: *to the mom* “This pair of jeans is part of our ‘Buy One, Get One’ offer. If you’re interested in a second pair, it’ll only cost you a dollar extra.”

Mom: “Well honey, go grab another pair real quick!”

Seven year old: “Ugh, you go do it!” *throws the pair of jeans at her mother*

Mom: “Okay, what kind do you want? Something similar or a diff—”

Seven year old: “Oh, forget it! I’ll do it because you will take forever!”

(She snatches the jeans from her mother and storms off, as dramatically as only a child can manage.)

Me: “How old is she?”

Mom: “Oh, she’s seven. She’s just so independent. She’s something else isn’t she?”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am!”