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Category: Family & Kids

Doesn’t Exactly Hook The Kiddies

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

Customer: *holds up a copy of Nick Cave’s ‘The Death of Bunny Munro’* “Is this book for children?”

Me: “That’s a dead prostitute on the cover.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “No, ma’am, it really isn’t.”

Argument Cut Short

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am both a meat-cutter and a cook, and I’m known among regulars for being the best. Some people don’t know me, and therefore don’t trust my work because I’m female.)

Customer: *on her phone* “Hi. Can I have half a pound of moist?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(I cut a perfectly good, though darkened by smoke, piece.)

Customer: *still on her phone* “That doesn’t look very moist.”

(I decide this is no time for an argument and cut another half pound. I grab it and also grab a small piece of the previous half for her to taste, offering it upon arrival at register. The customer, who is STILL on her phone, tries it, nods approval, smiles, and gives me a thumbs up.)

Me: “That’s the one you DIDN’T want.”

Customer: *realizes she can’t reasonably turn down the second lot for the first* “You know, give me another half.”

Me: “You want that one?” *points at the refused meat*

Customer: “Yes,  Yes, please.”

Me: “All right, no problem!”

(Of the many times I’ve had someone complain about meat they never even tried, that was the first I’d ever managed to turn it around. I’ve gotta say, it made my day!)

A Sizeable Lack Of Information

| Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(On a slow evening, a customer comes in and immediately approaches me at the counter.)

Me: “How are you this evening, ma’am? Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “I’m looking for sweater for my daughter.”

Me: “Okay. What size is she in? And is the sweater for any particular occasion?”

Customer: “Well, she’s petite and slim. Really small for her age.”

Me: “Well, what size shirt does she wear?”

(It’s really hard to sell to a customer when you don’t know what they are shopping for.)

Customer: “She’s petite and small.”

Me: “Well, how old is she?”

Customer: “She is small for her age.”

Me: “I understand that, but if I don’t know what size she is in, I can’t show you what I have available in that size.”

Customer: “She is slender and petite.”

(Giving up, I show her the only sweater I have in stock for girls.)

Me: “Okay. I have this one here. It’s great for the spring time and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. The biggest it comes in is a 5T.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.  She’s a size eight.”

(The customer left the store telling me I should’ve known what size she was looking for.)