Category: Family & Kids

Hunger Games: The Next Generation

| Elkhart, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m busing a cluster of booths next to a woman and her young toddler.)

Mother: *plays on her phone*

Toddler: *screams*

Mother: *starts playing with the paper placemat and crayons and stickers we gave to her baby*

Toddler: *screams*

Mother: *receives her order and, as she shovels it down her throat, goes back to her phone*

Toddler: *screams louder*

(This goes on for over 20 minutes and she does nothing to acknowledge the baby, but many guests are complaining to the manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am, is your baby all right?”

Mother: “He does that a lot. Just ignore him. He’ll shut up.”

(I nearly drop my bus tub in shock. My manager sees the look on my face and signals me to just go back to the kitchen/dish pit. He comes back to talk to me a few minutes later, after the baby’s stopped crying.)

Me: “Did you ask her to leave?”

Manager: “No, I gave the baby a plate of cheese fries. He was just hungry.

Me: “I hate people.”

Manager: “Next time, don’t look like you’re going to hit her and you can stay and watch the show.”

(The kicker? Other than the fact that she hadn’t even ordered for her child, my workplace offers a weekend deal where children under four eat for free!)

THIS STORY HAS YET TO BE TITLED

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”

Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”

 

Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!

Had A Sub-Standard Education

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

Teenage Customer: “Can I get a ham on wheat?”

Me: “Absolutely. Is that a six-inch or twelve-inch?”

Teenage Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer’s dad turns to his son and gives him a disgusted look.)

Customer’s Dad: “One’s bigger, a**-hole.”

Do You Wanna Build Biomedical Technology?

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(I work at a science museum. One of the exhibits has paper for visitors to write on, asking what they would like to know about biomedical technology. Since much of our visitors are children on field trips, not all the comments are related to medicine. My coworkers take delight in collecting the funniest ones. One day, my coworker comes in with a stack from the exhibit. After showing people, she hangs it in her cubicle. Curious, I look at it.)

Paper: *in the tell-tale scrawl of a five-year-old* “Hi, I’m Olaf and I like warm hugs. – [Child’s Name].”

(The child even drew a snowman!)

Gives New Meaning To Distressed Jeans

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(A customer is looking around with her toddler in the front buggy.)

Customer: *taps my shoulder and holds up a pair of jeans* “Excuse me, but do you know if you have these pants in a size 12?”

(I can see clearly on the protruding tag that the jeans she’s holding are the size she just asked for.)

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it seems you’ve got what you’re looking for right there!”

(I smile and think she’s about to laugh with me about it, but her expression turns sour and she throws the pants. They hit me square in the face, and all I can do is stare at her, speechless.)

Customer: “Next time don’t bother answering me if all you’re gonna do is embarrass me in front of my child!”

(She stomps away with her buggy before I can gather myself.)

Me: *to the pants in my hands* “…Sorry?”

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