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Category: Family & Kids

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Like Stealing Candy From A Baby

| Renfrewshire, Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(While shopping, I notice two typically cute toddlers eagerly running down the sweets aisle, ahead of their parents.)

Toddler: *loudly and cheerfully* “I’m going to steal something!”

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Making A New Disappointment

| Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(This patient has missed two appointments back to back before this one. An hour before her appointment she gets her mother to call in sick for her. She’s in her mid 20s. We have a 24-hour cancellation policy that I waved for the first two missed appointments.)

Reception: “Due to policy, we will have to charge your daughter for this missed appointment.”

Customer’s Mom: “I CAN BRING HER IN TO SHOW JUST HOW SICK SHE IS.”

Reception: “I’m sorry but it is policy. You daughter missed two appointments in a row before this appointment. I’m sorry but there will be a charge.”

Customer’s Mom: “FINE! She’ll just never come back in then.”

(The mother is a regular of mine. And, just because you don’t come in doesn’t mean you can get out of paying.)

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Toddlers Can Be Terrifying

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a pretty popular haunted house in my town, and I’m outside on my break, near the entrance line.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely.”

Customer: “What’s your age limit here?”

Me: “I don’t believe we have a technical age limit, but we don’t recommend anyone under the age of 10 or so.”

Customer: “Well, would it be all right if I brought in my son? He’s ten months old.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am… I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that would be a good idea. The house can be pretty intense, and your son being as young as he is, he would probably cause a fuss and disturb the other walkers and the actors.”

Customer: “But he’s, like, really brave.”

Me: “Believe me, I don’t think it’s a good idea. He’ll be terrified.”

Customer: “Okay, then. Thanks!”

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