Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

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Didn’t See The Smoke Signals

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Underaged

(In Minnesota, it’s the law to card people that look under the age of 40 if they are buying tobacco or tobacco-related products. If you refuse to show ID, even if you look over 18, we cannot sell to you after we’ve asked for it.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Female Customer: “Can I have a pack of Camel Crush?”

Me: “Sure! Can I see your ID?”

Female Customer: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t sell to you without an ID.”

Female Customer: “I’m 28; my birth year is 1986.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you without a proper form of identification.”

Female Customer: “Well, fine! I’ll just go somewhere else.”

Me: “Have a nice night.”

(I watch her storm out to the truck on one of our pumps. I watch as a guy gets out of the driver’s side and comes into the store.)

Me: “Hi there! How can I help you?”

Male Customer: “Can I get a pack of Camel Crush and a tin of Grizzly Wintergreen?”

Me: “Sir, if you are trying to buy a pack of cigarettes for the girl that was just in here, then I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “She’s 28.”

(He basically just admitted that he is associated with her and probably buying her cigarettes.)

Me: “It doesn’t matter, sir. She failed to produce a proper form of ID when asked. I cannot sell to either of you.”

Male Customer: “That’s ridiculous. She’s 28 and I smoke, too.”

Me: “That’s the law, sir. You’ve admitted you are trying to buy cigarettes for her and I saw you get out of the same truck she got into. I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! I’ll be back in the morning to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Okay, good luck! Make sure to read the signs in the store next time that say we card anyone under 40! Have a nice night!”

(They never talked to a manager or the corporate office.)

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No ID, No Idea, Part 24

| Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Underaged

(It’s the law that you need to have your ID to be in the liquor store, except for children with parents. A group of young gentlemen come in. Several choose items and carry them to the front. Once everything is on the counter, one of the men steps forward to pay.)

Me: “Hi, guys! I need to see everyone’s ID, please!”

Customer #1: “Why? How old do you think I look?”

Me: “Well, you look like you’re under 25, so I’ll need to see that ID, please. Same goes for everyone else.”

Customer #1: “But I’m the only one buying something. This is all for me.”

Me: “That’s great, but I can’t know for sure that they’re not going to have some since you all carried it to the front. It’s the law that I need to ID everyone. Plus I still haven’t seen your ID.”

(At this point there’s a line of several people forming.)

Customer #1: “Yeah, but I’m the only one buying it.”

Me: “Last chance. I need to see everyone’s ID, please.”

Customer #1: “How old do you think I am? Really.”

Me: “Not old enough to buy liquor. Since you won’t show me your ID, you’re now loitering on the premises. You need to leave the store now.”

Customer #1: “Wait! I’ll show you my ID.”

Customer #2: “I have mine as well!”

Me: “You’ve wasted enough of my time. There are seven people behind you waiting to pay, many of whom have their IDs out and ready. Your other buddies still don’t have their IDs out. I’ve explained to you that I’m required by law to see them, and given you multiple chances to show me. I’ve had enough. Get out.”

Customer #1: “You’re going to lose valuable customers! They’ll fire you!”

Me: “They’re not going to fire me. I’m complying with the law and thereby with store policy. My manager just went outside to write down your license plate number and will be calling the police once she has it. She’s got my back. You need to leave now. Go find another liquor store, and don’t pull this crap with them if you want your beer.”

(A couple of the guys checked outside and saw the manager walking towards their vehicle. They booked it out, and I haven’t seen them since.)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 23
No ID, No Idea, Part 22
No ID, No Idea, Part 21

No ID, No Idea, Part 23

| TX, USA | Popular, Underaged

(I work at a bowling alley as a waitress. Near the end of my shift, four customers get a lane in the bar side of the alley. It’s painfully obvious that none of them are old enough to buy alcohol. The first customers are a young man who looks 19 and his girlfriend, who appears to be 17.)

Me: “Hello, may I take your order?”

Young Man: “Yeah, we’d like a plate of nachos and a shot of [Brand] whiskey.” *tries not to look at his girlfriend*

Me: *overly brightly* “Of course! May I see your ID, please?”

Young Man: *fidgets* “No, that’s cool. Never mind.”

(I walk off, shaking my head when he’s out of sight. The next time I walk by, his girlfriend seems angry with him. The girl, who was sitting right next to her boyfriend when I asked for his ID, waves me over.)

Me: “Yes, may I help you?”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, a [Same Brand] whiskey.”

Me: *even brighter than before, smiling so widely my jaws hurt* “Of course! May I see your ID, please?”

Girlfriend: *stares coldly, then turns away*

(I didn’t hear a peep out of them the rest of the night except for more nachos. Playing dumb beats real dumbness every time!)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 22
No ID, No Idea, Part 21
No ID, No Idea, Part 20

She’s Lying/Not Lying

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Our store works with another company that offers a card to students that gets them discounts at many places. It is the card company’s policy that if a person looks like they could be 16 or older, they MUST produce student ID. If they don’t, under no circumstance are we allowed to give them the discount. A customer comes up who looks like she’s 16-18 years old.)

Me: “Your total is $15.75.”

Girl: “Oh, I have the [Student Card].”

Me: “Of course. If you could just quickly show me your student ID?”

Girl: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, I can’t give you the discount.”

Girl: “You’re joking! I’m from another province! I didn’t bring my student ID with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the discount. It’s [Card Company]’s policy that anyone who looks like they could be 16 or older must produce student ID.”

Girl: “That’s ridiculous! I’m, like, 12/13.”

(I look over the girl, and she looks way too old to be 13. I’m about to say something when her words suddenly hit me.)

Me: “Wait, you said you’re 12/13?”

Girl: “Yes! I’m 12/13!”

Me: “…So, you don’t know how old you are?”

Girl: “…What was the total again?”

No ID, No Idea, Part 22

| Norway | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I’m at our local grocery store, buying some snacks and alcoholic beverages. The drinking age here is 18, and the store policy is to check the ID of anyone who looks younger than 25. Since I’ve used the same store my entire life, most of the cashiers know me and don’t bother to ID me. The customer behind me, who is also purchasing alcohol, has been glaring at me through the entire transaction. It’s her turn.)

Cashier: “I’ll need to see an ID, please.”

Customer: “Why do you need that?”

Cashier: “Store policy.” *points to sign*

Customer: *points to me* “You didn’t check her ID, and I’m clearly older than her. I’m not even sure she’s legal.”

Cashier: “She is. ID, please.”

Customer: “No! Not until you ID HER.” *glares at me*

Cashier: *sighs and turns to me* “[My Name], may I see an ID, please?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands over my university ID*

Cashier: “Oh, you’re at [University] now? How’s that going?” *hands my ID back*

Me: “It’s great, thanks for asking. Say ‘hi’ to your parents for me.” *I turn to leave*

Cashier: “You too!” *to customer* We’ve known each other since we were six. ID, please.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 21
No ID, No Idea, Part 20
No ID, No Idea, Part 19

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