Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

Trouble Brewing, Part 6

| NE, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

(A group of three customers enter the bar. They are wearing wristbands after attending a local MMA fight. The wristbands are supposed to be only for people of drinking age.)

Customer #1: “Hey, can I get three rum and cokes?”

Me: “Sure, I just need to see everyone’s ID.”

Customer #2: “Aw, s***, I don’t have my ID, man.”

Customer #1: “Well, you shouldn’t have let the cops take your ID!”

Me: “Right, well if you don’t have your ID on you, I can’t serve you.”

Customer #2: “But I got this wrist band at the fights. You can’t have one unless you’re old enough.”

Me: “Yeah, but if I can’t see your ID myself, it doesn’t do me much good.”

Customer #1: “Well, hey is [Other Bartender] here tonight?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer #1: “What about [Another Bartender]?”

Me: “Nope.”

(They leave. Ten minutes later, Customer #1 comes back with a different couple.)

Customer #1: “Hey, man, I’m gonna level with you…”

Me: “Alright…”

Customer #1: “Okay, that guy I was with before? Yeah, he’s only 20. But I’m totally 22, man.”

Me: “Have you got your ID with you so you can prove it?”

Customer #1: “Um… no.”

Me: “Then I can’t help you.”

Customer #1: “C’mon, you’re really gonna be like that?”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”

Related:
Trouble Brewing, Part 5
Trouble Brewing, Part 4
Trouble Brewing, Part 3
Trouble Brewing, Part 2

No ID, No Idea, Part 14

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

(I am a volunteer bartender at a big music festival. We are required to check everyone’s ID upon ordering a drink. It’s now late into the festival, and customers are already pretty drunk.)

Customer: “Can I get a beer?”

Me: “Yes, can I see some ID?”

Customer: *as he’s pulling out his ID* “Okay, but it’s fake!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s fake. Will you still serve me?”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

Customer: *shoves ID in my face* “Does it look fake!?”

Me: “You just told me your ID is fake. I cannot serve you.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go over here!” *moves a foot over to the next bartender’s line*

Me: “I will tell them not to serve you.”

Customer: “Seriously!? WHAT THE H***! I JUST WANT SOME ALCOHOL!”

(At this point the bar manager has witnessed what has transpired.)

Manager: *to customer* “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK, OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 13
No ID, No Idea, Part 12
No ID, No Idea, Part 11
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

Drinking Responsibly

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Underaged

(While perusing the selection of beer at my local grocery store, I cannot help but notice the enormous, brightly-colored signs posted on every available surface which proclaim: “WE CARD EVERYONE”. After choosing what I want, I head for the checkout, being sure to get my ID out along with my credit card.)

Me: “Just this, thanks.”

(The employee looks at me nervously. I’m 29, but look a good bit younger.)

Employee: “Now because this is alcoholic, ma’am, I am going to need to see your ID.”

Me: “Of course, got it right here.”

(The employee blinks in surprise, then smiles enormously and happily rings up my six-pack of hard cider.)

Me: “Do people really give you that hard a time about this? You have huge red and yellow signs EVERYWHERE. Not to mention it’s kind of, you know, the law?”

Employee: “Honey, you have no idea. Thank you for being smart. Here’s your receipt, and I hope you really enjoy that!”