Category: Underaged

Everyone at one time has tried to sneak into a movie or bought a drink they’re too young for. However; when stupid customers make this attempt the results can be both hilarious and pitying. And this is before alcohol has destroyed their brain cell(s)!

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The Drunken Taste Of Lawlessness

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I work in a well-known chain superstore. Our policy for alcohol sales is that we must see proper identification from all parties present with the exception of an obvious parent/child party. It is also important to note that Ohio law states that a customer must provide a valid ID if asked, and a store employee may ask at their own discretion.)

Me: “Hello. I will need to see both ID’s to process this alcohol sale.”

Customer #1: “Why do you need to see both?”

Me: “It is the—”

Customer #1: “That is illegal; you can’t require that both of us have an ID.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I am required by policy to have proper identification from all parties of the alcohol sale or I cannot—”

Customer #1: “So, it is [Store]’s policy, which is against the law. I could sue.”

(Meanwhile, Customer #2 is retrieving his ID. I check both identification cards and process the sale.)

Me: “Your total is…”

Customer #1: “What if I have my child and I am buying alcohol?”

Me: “If it is obviously your child it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Customer #2: “Well what if I had my step-daughter?”

Me: “That would be a child, sir. It won’t be a problem if you are not buying it for her.”

Customer #1: “Well, it is stupid and against the law.”

(I hand her the receipt.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Good luck breaking the law; someone will sue you.”

Customer #3: *a little old woman, clearly appalled by Customer #2’s attitude* “Don’t worry, sweetie. I don’t have alcohol, and even if i did I know the law!”

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Game, Set, And Matches

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular, Underaged

(I work in a store that was recently stung by the local P.D. and failed a decoy operation. The offending employee was fired, fined, given a court date, and charged with a criminal offense. This resulted in a huge crackdown on our ID policy from management. A young woman comes in and asks me for a free pack of matches.)

Me: “Sure, but I’m going to need to see your ID.”

Customer: “What? For matches?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it’s considered the same thing as purchasing a lighter.”

Customer: “I don’t have my ID.”

Me: “I can’t give you matches, then. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I was just in here last week. You don’t remember me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Do you just not have a memory?”

(At this point I’m kind of stricken by her rudeness and general demeanor. She’s obviously getting extremely upset about me not giving her a pack of matches.)

Me: “I see hundreds of people every week, ma’am. I can’t remember every single one of them.”

Customer: “You are very rude! Why are you being so mean to me?”

Me: “How am I being rude? I could lose my job for not asking for ID.”

Customer: “You’re making me feel stupid!”

(At this point her attitude changes completely and she actually begins to cry.)

Customer: “PLEASE just give me the matches! Why are you doing this to me?”

Me: “I can’t. Someone just lost their job and has to go to court because they didn’t ID a customer.”

Customer: “F*** you! I will be speaking to your manager!”

Me: “So you’re going to complain to my manager about me doing my job?”

(She ran out, still crying. She did show up complaining about me to my manager. This resulted in my manager backing me up for doing my job. She thankfully hasn’t returned.)

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Thinks You’re A Deadfool

| DE, USA | Movies & TV, Underaged

(I am taking tickets at my theater during the opening week of ‘Deadpool’ when two obviously underage teenagers, probably fifteen or so, walk up to me with tickets.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Theater]! Can I take your tickets, please?”

Customers: *hand me tickets*

Me: “Sorry, guys, but Deadpool is rated ‘R.’ I’m going to need to see some ID.”

Customer #1: “What?! But it’s a superhero movie! It’s ‘PG-13!'”

Me: “Nope! We’ve had a couple people think the same thing, but it’s rated ‘R.’ If you don’t have ID, they can switch out your tickets at the box office.”

Customer #2: “But they let us buy the tickets! Are you sure it’s rated ‘R?'”

Me: “Very sure. It says so on the poster right behind you.”

Customer #2: “Well, are you sure the poster’s right?”

(I proceeded to explain that the movie was, in fact, rated what it said on the poster. 20 minutes later, after several attempts to get me to let them into the movie, including a phone call from the customers’ mom, they finally left and got a ticket for a different movie. Security later caught them trying to sneak into ‘Deadpool’ anyway.)

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