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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Has A License To Be An Idiot

| San Jose, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work in the service department of a car dealership. We are sometimes able to provide loaner vehicles to customers if the repairs needed on their vehicle fulfill certain requirements. If a customer uses a loaner vehicle they complete a contract similar to if they rent a car which requires us to see their driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card. A customer has been told they qualify for a loaner vehicle needed after their vehicle was towed in for repairs and diagnosed. She barges in, looking grumpy.)

Customer: “I’m [Customer]; I’m here to pick up a loaner car.”

Receptionist: “No problem! We were expecting you so your advisor has already pulled up the vehicle; we’ll be able to get you on the road soon.”

Customer: *impatiently* “GOOD! I’m in a hurry. It is SO inconvenient that I had to come ALL the way here to pick up a car. I have things to do, you know!”

Receptionist: “We definitely understand; it’s tough when your car breaks down. We’re glad we can get you this loaner so at least you can get around again while your car is being fixed. I just need to see your driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card so we can do your paperwork.”

Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean you need to see that stuff?”

Receptionist: “…Are your documents in your car? We can have one of our porters get whatever is needed out of your vehicle.”

Customer: “NO! I didn’t bring any of those things because NOBODY TOLD ME I would need them! SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! THIS IS TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL!”

(One of my coworkers finishes with his customer and is tired of hearing her berate our receptionist, who has done nothing wrong. He approaches the desk.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I couldn’t help but overhearing. It sounds like you were here to pick up our loaner vehicle but you don’t have your driver’s license or insurance information?”

Customer: “YES! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED THEM! SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!”

Coworker: “Was someone else going to drive the loaner car?”

Customer: “What kind of stupid question is THAT? I HAVE TO GO TO WORK! STOP WASTING MY TIME AND GIVE ME THE CAR! NOBODY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO BRING THAT STUFF TO GET THE CAR!”

Coworker: “Ma’am… I’m pretty sure the State of California told you to bring your license and insurance with you EVERY time you plan to drive a car.”

She’s Lying/Not Lying

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Our store works with another company that offers a card to students that gets them discounts at many places. It is the card company’s policy that if a person looks like they could be 16 or older, they MUST produce student ID. If they don’t, under no circumstance are we allowed to give them the discount. A customer comes up who looks like she’s 16-18 years old.)

Me: “Your total is $15.75.”

Girl: “Oh, I have the [Student Card].”

Me: “Of course. If you could just quickly show me your student ID?”

Girl: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, I can’t give you the discount.”

Girl: “You’re joking! I’m from another province! I didn’t bring my student ID with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the discount. It’s [Card Company]’s policy that anyone who looks like they could be 16 or older must produce student ID.”

Girl: “That’s ridiculous! I’m, like, 12/13.”

(I look over the girl, and she looks way too old to be 13. I’m about to say something when her words suddenly hit me.)

Me: “Wait, you said you’re 12/13?”

Girl: “Yes! I’m 12/13!”

Me: “…So, you don’t know how old you are?”

Girl: “…What was the total again?”

Wanted Proof But Got Overproof

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Transportation

(I work at a chain shipping store. One of my coworkers is helping an older woman who wants to ship a package to a friend. She has a box that is inside a plastic bag.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there anything breakable in your package?”

Older Woman: “Yes. It probably needs to be bubble wrapped but you can just bubble wrap the box.”

Coworker: “Okay, that’s not a problem! Can I just take the box out of the bag to make sure the item isn’t moving around inside the box?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker takes the box out of the bag and notices that the box says that it contains a bottle of Crown Royal. In our state you cannot ship hard liquor without a number of serious licenses.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s inside this box?”

Older Woman: “Shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, are you sure?”

Older Woman: “Yes, it’s just shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, do you mind if I check to make sure its just shampoo?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker opens the box and pulls out a full bottle of Crown Royal.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, this is a bottle of Crown Royal. You can’t ship this. It’s against the law.”

Older Woman: “No. It’s shampoo!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, this ‘shampoo’ is 80 proof.”

(The older woman grabs the Crown Royal from my coworker and quickly exits the store.)

Coworker: *to me* “I want that kind of shampoo!”