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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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These Items Are Literally A Steal

| KY, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(The pawn laws in my county require that any item sold to our store must be held for ten days before it can be sold, to make sure it isn’t stolen. To cover ourselves, we hold everything for two weeks. Even though we abide by pawn laws, we work on a more consignment-style basis, meaning that once you sell your items, you cannot get them back.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Man: *already annoyed, but understandably so* “Yes, I recently had items stolen from me. I have filed a police report, I know who stole them, and I know that they were sold to you. Can I get my items back?”

Me: “I’m really sorry that happened to you. But yes, you’ve done everything that we needed you to do, so we can totally get those things back to you. You will have to come in with the officer who’s been working on your case, but it’ll be no problem.”

Man: *sighs* “Well, can you at least gather my things together so that they’ll be ready when I get there?”

Me: “Of course. Just let me know the name of the person who sold them, and when they were sold to us, and I’ll set them aside with your name on them.”

Man: “His name was [Name] and he sold them at the beginning of June. Around the third.”

Me: “Ohh… well, it’s the end of July. We hold everything for two weeks before we put it out on the floor to sell. I’m happy to go and find anything that is left, but there’s a possibility that your things have already been sold, since they’ve been here for almost two months.”

Man: “Well, how do I go about getting those things back?”

Me: “I mean, you can’t. They’ve been sold to people.”

(He then proceeded to yell at me, telling me the policies of my store, which I tried to explain to him, but he just told me again what kind of store I work in and then tells me to “f*** off,” at which point I hung up. Maybe you should have less sketchy friends?)

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Out Of Favor With The Law

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in a pawn shop where people can put items as collateral against loans, and when they do they can pay them off whenever they want but they can’t get their stuff back until a legally required seven day hold has finished, even if they’ve loaned the exact same item multiple times.)

Customer: “Hey, can you do me favour?”

Me: “Maybe?”

Customer: “My loan’s been in for six days. Can I get it out? I know it’s early but I’ve had it in before.”

Me: “It’s the law, man; we have to hold it for seven days every time.”

Customer: “I’m not talking about the law, man. I just need a favour.”

Me: “Your favour… requires me to break the law.”

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A Tow-tal Breakdown

| Lexington, KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I work at a roadside assistance call center. I take calls for customers who need a tow, tire change, unlocking, etc…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; are you in a safe location?”

Caller: “Hello? I need you to tow my car.”

Me: “All right, where is the car located?”

Caller: “I don’t know. That’s why I need you to get it.”

Me: *thinking she broke down and didn’t know where she was* “Okay, what city are you in?”

Caller: “Me? I’m in Cincinnati. That’s where you can bring it when you get it.”

Me: “Oh, is someone else with the car?”

Caller: “Yeah, my boyfriend.”

Me: “Okay… Do you want to have him call me with an address of the car’s location?”

Caller: “He’s not answering his phone.”

Me: “Well, we need to know where the car is in order to tow it somewhere.”

Caller: “Are you listening to me? I don’t know where it is! My boyfriend got mad and took off with it! That’s why I need you to bring it back!”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t tow a vehicle unless we know where it is.”

Caller: “Why the heck not?”

Me: “Where would we send the tow truck? If you don’t know where the car is, how do you expect us to find it?”

Caller: “Well, what else am I supposed to do? He took my car without my permission!”

Me: “Perhaps you should call the police.”

Caller: “You know what? That’s a great idea!” *click*

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Going Off On Flights Of Fancy

| Reykjavik, Iceland | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a sales desk at a bus company and we have to answer the phones as well. We provide an airport shuttle so we follow the landing times at the airport when picking up passengers. One night a woman phones in:)

Me: “[Bus Company]; good evening.”

Customer: “Hi. My friend is flying in from [Country]. When will she be home?”

Me: “Well, according to our information there are two flights coming in today from [Country]. Do you know which airline she is flying with?”

Customer: “No, can’t you look it up for me?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This is a bus company. I have no access to another company’s system, and I am pretty sure that would violate some privacy laws. If you can tell me when you were expecting her, during the day, morning, afternoon, or evening, I could help you make an educated guess, but I still cannot answer for the flight company as I only work for a bus company.”

Customer: “I used to work for your company many years ago and we did this all the time! She is my friend and neighbour! Just look it up for me!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. I really cannot. This company does not have access to passenger lists of other companies nor is it legal even if I had the information.”

(The customer continues with a four-minute rant about poor customer service and this would not have been a problem when she had worked there. I politely suggest that maybe she should take a nice evening stroll over to her friends place and see if she’s home.)

Customer: “Why didn’t I think of that!? Still poor customer service; I still have to get out of my house to be sure!” *slams down phone*

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Baked In The Bakery

| Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(Two young men and one young woman walk into the store. They appear to be college-aged.)

Man #1: “So, these cupcakes are, like, really good, right?”

Me: “Yep! The owner bakes them herself using great ingredients.”

(They wander around the store for a minute. Suddenly, the other man pulls out a plastic container of marijuana.)

Man #2: “Man, smell this!”

Man #1: “Oh, s***, that is some great stuff.”

Woman: “Let me smell.”

(Since the container looks similar to that of the local dispensary, I decide a call to the police is uncalled for without more information, so I wait.)

Woman: *smelling the drugs* “Oh, wow, that’s really good!” *smiles at me* “One banana split cupcake, please!”

(As I get her the cupcake, I keep staring at the container of weed. The young men seem completely unfazed by this.)

Me: *ringing up the payment* “Have a great day!”

Man #1: *walking out, weed still visibly in hand* “Oh, we DEFINITELY will!”

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