Category: Criminal & Illegal

Not So Closed Minded, Part 9

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Time

(During the summer our store stays open until 11 pm. Now that summer is ending we are back at our winter hours of closing at 10 pm. My coworker has made announcements at 9:45 and 9:55 that the store is closing. It is now 10:10, we have turned off the outside lights, dimmed the dining room lights, and turned up the music while we clean.)

Coworker: “Uhm, guys, I found some people and they won’t leave.”

Manager: “What?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I went to clean the bathrooms and they are sitting at one of the bars. I told them we were closed but they just said ‘No, you aren’t’ and ignored me.”

(The manager walks around the corner to where the people are sitting.)

Manager: “Excuse me, ladies. We have actually closed for the night so I am going to need you to leave so we can finish mopping.”

Girl #1: “No, you aren’t!”

Girl #2: “Yeah, you guys don’t close till 11! We aren’t leaving.”

Manager: “I’m sorry but we are. Staying open until 11 is something we only do during the summer. We switched back to winter hours last week.”

Girl #2: “Ugh, you’re such a liar. You just want to go home early!”

Girl #1: “Yeah, stop being so lazy! Google says your hours are till 11!”

(Girl #2 pulls out her phone and puts it so close to my manager’s face it is touching her nose.)

Girl #2: “SEE!”

Manager: “No, you two need to leave. Please be careful as we have already started mopping.”

Girl #2: “Make us!”

Manager: “Fine, I’ll call security.”

(Both girls moaned but began picking up their stuff. They made a point to drag it out as long as possible and “missed” the garbage when throwing their ice creams out.)

Related:

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 8

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6

The Phone Crashed

| Moscow, ID, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(It’s about five minutes to closing, and I am monitoring the entrance door to my store when a girl rushes in, waving at me.)

Girl: “I’ll be just a minute! I promise! I need one thing!”

(She dashes off into the store and I go back to waiting for the clock to hit ten when I hear, over the loudspeaker:)

Coworker: “Harry in Hardware, if you’re in the store, you’re needed in Electronics.”

(Knowing that this is the code name for our loss-prevention agent, I go on alert just as the manager is locking up the doors to the store. Not thirty seconds later, the girl from earlier runs full tilt towards the doors with her arms cradling something to her chest, and smashes right into them, face first. The manager, who is ten feet away, approaches.)

Manager: “I need to see what’s in your coat, please.”

Girl: “Oh, but…”

(She opens her jacket and there’s a pre-paid cellphone. A look of exaggerated amazement appears on her face.)

Girl: “But… I don’t know how that got there…”

(I missed the rest of the show because it was time to clock out, but it was really hard not to just topple over laughing.)

Arts And Crafty

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I’m the closing manager for a craft store and one of my cashiers calls me to the front. A woman with a baby carriage is attempting to return a collection of high-priced marker sets without a receipt or the original card. I’ve seen this enough to know that she’s stolen these sets and wants the cash. I explain the store policy and refuse most of the return, only allowing about $42. Without a security team, there’s not much else I can do. After following her around the store for about three hours, she comes up to the till.)

Me: “Oh, did you find everything you need? Oops, there’s a marker set on the bottom of the carriage. Let me get that for you.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! I forgot I put it down there.”

Me: “Of course! Looks like some items slipped under this bag. Let me get this out of the way so you can grab the other items.”

(She purchased about a third of the items, $42 worth, from the carriage and swiftly left the store. The remainder, including what I pulled from under the carriage? About 250 dollars worth of various marker sets and small items. Huh. Glad for the confirmation about that earlier return! I personally thanked all my employees and passed along a note to the head manager.)

Returner Burner

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal

(It is thirty minutes until closing time when a woman strolls in with a large bag of items, mostly brand name clothes – easily three hundred dollars worth of merchandise. Of course she has no receipt and so I will have to give her store credit. I process the items; there’s a lot of things so it takes a while. My phone rings and I notice it’s a call from inside the store.)

Me: *on the phone* “Customer service.”

Coworker: *on the phone* “Get her driver’s license number.” *hangs up*

(I ask the woman for her license, and while she digs for it, she gets out her phone (she didn’t dial anything nor did it ring) and pretends to tell someone she’s at [Store] doing some returns. I glance at my coworker and the people greeter, who is part of loss prevention, and they are both scowling. My coworker is shaking her head. I know they’re thinking the same thing I’m thinking. I write down her DL number and put it under my counter and continue to ring up the returns.)

Woman: *peers over my counter* “I need that piece of paper back.”

Me: *puzzled a moment, and also somewhat annoyed at having my concentration broken* “Hmm? Oh, uh…”

(I realize she wants her license number back. I don’t know what to say as I’ve never had to do a transaction this big before.)

Woman: “Can I have that piece of paper?”

(My coworker walks back by.)

Coworker: “When we do a transaction this big we have to take the driver’s license number. We keep it confidential.” *she gives me a look*

Me: “We’ll destroy it when we’re done here, okay?”

(The woman goes to the display across from the service desk, of electronic toys, cell phone accessories, etc. She picks up a set of earbuds and drops them into her purse.)

Me: “I have to scan that!”

Coworker: *quietly, to me* “Force of habit.”

The Strongest Generation

| The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I am 16 years old and helping my grandpa shop in the supermarket near closing time. My grandpa survived the Second World War. He survived being captured by Germans, at 16 years old, and lived through forced labor, starvation, and the eventual fighting to liberate the Netherlands, at 21 years old. As an older man, 82 at the time, he is still quite fit, tall, and strong.)

Grandpa: “[My Name], can you go and get some ham and cheese for me? I’ll get the bread so we can make some grilled cheese and ham sandwiches for lunch tomorrow.”

Me: “Awesome! I’m on it, gramps!”

(I make my way to the aisle that contains the ham and cheese and find only one package each of ham and the cheese left. I luck out, as it’s near closing time. I pick them both up and turn around only to find myself surrounded by three guys. )

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, you can actually. You can start by giving us your ham and cheese.” *makes a grabbing motion*

Me: “What? No! Why would I give this to you? I obviously intend to buy this.”

Customer #2: “Shut up! Just give us the d*** ham and cheese.”

Customer #3: “We could always just kick your a** and take it from you?”

(At this point I’m absolutely astounded. Not only am I being “robbed” in the middle of a supermarket, but they don’t want my money; they want the darn ham and cheese. Before I could even say another thing, a soft but deep voice speaks to them.)

Grandpa: “I ask you kindly to leave my grandson alone.”

(All three “customers” turn around in sync and see my grandpa standing there, smiling at them.)

Customer #2: “Or what? You’ll give us an ear full and scold us?”

Customer #1: “F*** off, old man.”

(At this point the first guy grabs my arm and is trying to take away the groceries. When this happens, my grandpa leaves his cart and walks straight past the first two guys. He grabs the guy by his shoulder, then his wrist, and pulls it back in one fluent motion. The guy screeches in pain as he gets slammed into the nearby doors.)

Grandpa: “I’ll ask again. Leave my grandson alone.” *turns to the other two* “I suggest you move away or I’ll break this guys arm.” *pulls it a little*

Customer #1: “Ow, ow, ow! Stop it! You’re bending my arm too far!”

Worker: “What’s going on here?!”

Customer #2: “F*** this. Let’s get the h*** out of here.”

Customer #3: “Let’s go, man.”

Worker: *through a wall phone* “Hello, boss? Yeah, I’ve got some hooligans here who seem to be attacking some of our customers. Can you call the cops?”

Customer #2: “I’m out!”

(Grandpa lets go of Customer #1 and they all make a run for it.)

Customer #1: “F*** you guys!”

(All three then bolt towards the main exit.)

Worker: *obviously concerned* “Are you guys okay?!”

Me: “I’m good, just a little surprised by my grandpa’s quick moves.”

Grandpa: “Hey! I might be old, but that doesn’t mean I’m slow! Besides, they were bullying my grandson.”

Me: “More like robbing me… for ham and cheese of all things!”

Worker: “Are you serious? They weren’t after your money… they were after your groceries?”

(I nod.)

Worker: “That’s insane! They are in a supermarket, for god’s sake!”

Grandpa: “The stupidity of people will never cease to amaze me.”

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