Category: Criminal & Illegal

Gotta Steal ‘Em All

| Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Non-Dialogue, Pokemon

A coworker and I are working the evening shift along the back wall in a local big box store, which means we’re just cleaning up after a day’s worth of customers have gone through.

The seasonal department is right next to the toy aisles, and while straightening up a row of patio furniture displays, we find a pile of Pokémon cards and three foil wrappers. There should be 30 cards from those wrappers, and we usually find all of the cards, or none. Typically none. This pile has 28 cards. Someone found what they were looking for, apparently.

Fast forward 10-15 minutes, and we’re cleaning up toys. We happen to be standing across from the collector cards wall, and a little boy (six-ish?) comes around the corner. He pulls two Pokémon cards out of his pocket and starts gushing at us about his super cool Pikachu and his super cool Jolteon.

My coworker and I just stood there speechless. The kid’s mother came around the corner and told the kid to stop bothering “the workers.” Kid covertly slipped the cards back in his pocket. The mother had no idea.

Getting Tender Over Legal Tender

| Dublin, Ireland | Criminal & Illegal, Money, Transportation

(A customer pulls up and fills their tank with petrol, €55 worth.)

Customer: “Pump five, please.” *places a €500 note on the counter*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t accept a €500 Euro note. Would you perhaps have a credit card?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Why can’t you accept it? It is legal tender!”

Me: “I do not have enough change in my till to provide you with. Also, as it is over 20% of the value of your purchase, I can refuse to accept this as payment.”

Customer: “But it is legal tender.”

Me: “Sir, if I could provide you with the change I would; however, it is not possible. Do you not have a credit card you could use?”

Customer: “No! This is outrageous.”

(The cycle of discussion continues where I try to remain as polite and calm with the customer as possible.)

Me: “Perhaps there is someone you could call and I can accept payment over the phone?”

Customer: “I’m going to drive away if you will not accept my money!”

Me: “As I have explained, sir, I cannot accept this as payment as I do not have the change to give you. I would if I could but I’m sorry, I don’t.”

Customer: “I’m going to leave now.”

Me: *I turn away to look out the window and take down the reg of his car* “Sir, if you leave the forecourt without paying I will be forced to call the Guards.” *police*

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “As you have not paid for the petrol it would be theft.”

Customer: *muttering in anger they storm out*

(The next customer steps up and I ask if he wouldn’t mind waiting a moment while I look out to the car. After a moment I notice no movement so I begin to serve the next customer, however mid transaction the customer storms in.)

Customer: “Here!” *throws the money at me and I have to kneel to pick it up, as the customer is storming out*

Me: “See you, sir! Have a nice day!”

Customer: *stops turns glaring at me* “What did YOU say to me!?”

Me: “I said ‘See you, sir! Have a nice day!’”

Customer: “Mind your f****** business!” *storms out*

(Everyone in the store begins to laugh as I resume to serve the next customer.)

Customer #2: “I don’t know how you kept a straight face.”

Me: “The nicer I got, the angrier he got. What a d***-head. Sorry about that!”

(The other customers got a good chuckle out of it.)

Closing On A High

| Orem, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Time

(I’m a 19-year-old closing shift manager, who has one other employee with me. I come from a very strict religious family, in a very conservative town, so I can say that I’m a bit naive about certain things. One night just as I am walking to lock the doors at 10:58 pm, someone walks up and catches me.)

Customer: “Aww, are you closing? I just wanted a couple of burgers.”

Me: *thinking that technically we had two minutes* “Well we are about to close, but we can make a couple of burgers. No problem.”

Customer: *at the register* “Okay, let me have 18 burgers, 16 fries, 2 onion rings and 18 [Soda]s.”

Me: *knowing that once he is in the store, by policy I have to serve him, I’m fuming* “Okay, sir, but that is a lot of food, and we aren’t set up for that much. Everything has to be cooked from scratch. It’s going to take quite some time.” *hoping he will change his mind*

Customer: “That’s okay. I’ll wait…”

(After spending almost twenty minutes cooking all this food, it’s finally ready.)

Me: *trying to hide my anger at having to stay well past the end of my shift* “Thank you for you order; here you go.”

Customer: “Hey, thanks, dude. Here, I have a tip for you, since you were so nice to stay and cook for me.”

(The then hands me a small envelope. I just want him to leave, so I can go home, so I take it and walk him out. I head back to the office and start with my closing duties.)

Fellow Employee: “So what did that guy give you in the envelope?”

Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t look.” *opening the envelope, it’s full of marijuana, which I’ve actually never seen before in my life* “What the heck is this?”

Fellow Employee: “Well, that explains a lot.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Fellow Employee: “He had the munchies…” *turning around, leaving me holding my first and last bag of weed*

Not Talking About An Auto Dealer

| UK | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in admin for local authority parking enforcement. It’s a 50/50 split between making sure people paid their legitimate fines, and catching errors/fakes by incompetent or dishonest wardens. Part of the job is chasing down people who have outstanding fines for long periods. We obtain address details from the DVLA and make contact. Usually they call us after getting an intimidating letter. This young-sounding woman is one such. She sounds…distracted. Bear in mind that she is calling local government.)

Caller: “I got this letter saying I owe money for a parking fine but that’s not my car.”

Me: “You’re on record as the registered keeper.”

Caller: “Really? What car is it?”

Me: *make/model/colour/registration*

Caller: “Oh, yeah. That was mine. I haven’t got it now, though. I only had it a few days then I gave it to my dealer.”

Me: “Your dealer?”

Caller: “Yeah, my dealer. I traded it to him for drugs. You know how it is. I gave him that car for drugs. So, it’s his fine.”

Me: “Right… Well… You should probably tell the DVLA you don’t own the car anymore.”

Caller: “What…?”

(The weirdest part for me was the way she kept saying she was buying ‘drugs’. Somehow I wouldn’t have expected someone buying illegal narcotics to phrase it like that.)

Someone Needs Some Weekend Cheer

| MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(I open my store on Saturdays. On the way there I have to merge onto the highway slowly due to heavy traffic. A middle-aged couple in an SUV in the next lane apparently decide I’m not going fast enough and try to merge ahead of me, but I move up to prevent this. The man leans on his horn and yells obscenities out the window at me; I just wave and continue on my way, not thinking anything of it until I pull into the parking lot at work and the SUV comes speeding in. As I am walking to the door, the man gets out and starts yelling.)

Him: “JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU LITTLE B****? I SHOULD BEAT YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW AND TEACH YOU SOME G****** RESPECT!”

Me: “Is there a problem, sir?”

Him: “YOU FLIPPED ME OFF, YOU F****** C***!”

Me: “First of all, no, I didn’t. Second, even if I had there’s no law against that. Third, you tried to cut me off. Now if there’s nothing else, I have a job to get to.”

(At this point, this grown man who is at least old enough to be my father starts pointing and laughing like a little kid.)

Him: “Haha, you have to work today, you f****** loser! If you weren’t so stupid and lazy you’d have a real life!”

(I’ve heard enough. I take out my phone.)

Me: “Sir, did you need to buy something when we open?”

Him: “Hell, no, I—”

Me: *interrupting* “Then at this time I’m going to call the police.”

Him: *screaming again* “WHAT THE F*** FOR, YOU DUMB C***?”

Me: “Well, let’s see: you followed me here; that’s harassment. You threatened me with bodily harm, also a crime. You said you have no intention of buying anything at this store, and we’re not even open yet, so right now you’re trespassing on private property. The station is less than a mile from here so once I make this call officers will be here in about a minute. Maybe you’d like to make fun of them for working on a Saturday, too?”

(Needless to say, he got back in his car and took off, yelling a few more obscenities along the way while his wife flipped me off out the window.)

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