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Category: Criminal & Illegal

X-Bong

| Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Technology

(A customer comes in carrying the box for an original Xbox.)

Customer: “My Xbox isn’t working.”

Coworker: “That’s no good. Pop it on the counter and we’ll have a look.”

(The customer places the box on the counter. I’m standing nearby when my coworker opens the box. From the box emerges the most putrid smell you could ever imagine. My coworker has to jump back from the smell, holding his nose. Having known some ‘interesting’ people in my life though, I recognise the smell. I lean a bit closer to the box and sniff a few times.)

Me: “Mate… did you spill your bong water on this?”

Customer: *incredibly long awkward silence* “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…not replacing it then?”

Me: “Not a chance.”

(The customer left and I got to try to explain to my coworker why I knew the smell of bong water so well.)

Will Have To Park This Service

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(The store where I work has a ridiculously tiny and awkwardly shaped car park, so on the weekend it can be difficult to find a parking spot. On one extremely hot Saturday I am working at the service desk when a customer comes through the door and pushes past all the other customers in line.)

Customer: “I need to return this cushion.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll be happy to serve you, but you’ll need to join the queue.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I can’t wait in that line! I didn’t park my car and my baby is still inside!”

Me: “So, you’re telling me that you’re blocking everyone else in the car park and you locked your baby inside your car, on a forty degree day?”

Customer: “Yes, exactly! You need to serve me first!”

Me: “Ma’am, I won’t serve you until you have parked your car correctly and brought your baby inside with you.”

Customer: “You can’t refuse me service! I demand to talk to your supervisor!”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll be happy to call her for you after you park your car and bring in your baby.”

(She swore under her breath and left in a huff. I didn’t see her again that day.)

Damaging Your Chances

| Allentown, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Money

(A husband and wife are browsing the store, with the wife wanting to buy things and the husband saying everything is too expensive. Finally she selects a figurine from our clearance rack.)

Husband: “Wait, this is only [price]? The one over there was [bigger price]. What’s the difference?”

Me: “This one is damaged, sir. It fell on the floor and the head broke off – you can see where I’ve glued it back on. It’s a clean break, but we can’t in good conscience sell it at the full price.”

Husband: “So if I get the other one and break it, you’ll sell it to me for the cheaper price?”

Me: “No, sir. I will call security because you’re intentionally damaging our merchandise.”

(They did buy the clearance figure, but hurried out without their receipt. To my knowledge, they’ve never come back.)