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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A couple of weeks ago the bicycle that I had owned since I was eight years old was stolen, right outside my shop. I was at work at the time and the CCTV we have can’t pin the culprit as he was in a blind spot. The police have been as unsuccessful as well. As my only method of transport, I have to go by foot which takes 40 minutes. I’m behind the counter one day, when…)

Customer: “Excuse me, can I park my bicycle in here? Some guy got his stolen the other week so I don’t want to take any chances.”

Me: “Sure, just park it up by the counter and I’ll—”

(Before I can finish, the customer brings the cycle — MY CYCLE — in and rests it against the counter.)

Me: “—k-keep an eye on it for you.”

(The second the customer turns around the corner, I’m on the phone to my manager to ring the police. When he comes out of the office he notices the cycle and is just as baffled as me.)

Manager: “What’s going on here?”

Me: “A gentlemen just came in with this. He’s gone into the produce aisle but I’m certain that he’s the thief.”

Manager: “Right. You stay here. I’ll speak to him.”

(Without another word, my now-furious manager had rounded the corner and gone to have a word with the gentlemen in question. Not a second later I could hear swearing at the top of the gentlemen’s lungs as he came running down the same aisle and reached for my bike. My instinct kicked in and I held on to the back wheel as much as I could as he shouted for me to ‘f*****g let go’. He gave up sooner than anticipated as my manager charged at him, so he sprinted for the door. However, the police were waiting outside for him, and in a flurry of swearwords the crook was brought to the ground and arrested there and then. How did I know it was my bicycle? The dingus had forgotten to remove my water bottle which was attached to the frame and had my name on it! I guess crime doesn’t pay!)

The Blade Isn’t As Sharp As The Employee

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(A customer comes in with a an 8 1/2″ circular saw blade and he wants to return it.)

Customer: “This blade isn’t going to work for me.”

Me: “Oh, do you want to go down and see what would work for you?”

Customer: “No, I just want to get my money back.”

Me: “Well, in that case, sir, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I threw it away.”

Me: “Oh, let’s see if I can find you in the system.”

(Our system holds transactions for about three months. It is easy to find a customer if they paid with a card.)

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, sir. I am not able to find you in the system. When did you buy this saw blade?”

Customer: “I was in here yesterday!”

(The customer is getting a bit irritated.)

Me: “Do you have our [Business] rewards card, sir?”

Customer: “F***, no! Why would I have your s****-a** card?!”

Me: “In that case, sir, would you hold on a moment? It looks like I’ll need to get my manager because this is not in the system at all.”

(I call my manager over and he asks all the questions I already did. I notice something is off: we carry this particular brand but we only stock one at a time, which is what the computer says we have currently. Sure enough, when I got to the shelf, that particular blade is missing, I head back up to my manager and pull him aside.)

Me: *very quietly* “Sir, I have reason to believe that the customer is trying to return a stolen item.”

(The customer is getting quite fidgety and very annoyed.)

Manager: *to the customer* “Sir, I’m going to call the cops. Not only did you steal this, you tried to return it by getting what it was worth out of us as well. We have your face and license plate’s number on our cameras.”

(The man bolted out of the store and ran away leaving the saw blade on the counter. I got 100 bucks for catching a shoplifter!)  

Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

(The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*