icon_criminals

Category: Criminal & Illegal

Fits The Bill Of A Criminal

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

(A couple of years back I worked as a Christmas temp at a major supermarket during a year off from university course. It is in the middle of a very busy shift.)

Customer: *walks up to checkout with two very expensive electrical items*

Me: “Hello, sir.” *scans items* “That will be £380 please.”

Customer: *hands me a wad of £20 notes*

Me: “Thank you very much.”

(I start to count money out in front of him while also checking each note for authenticity.)

Customer: *suddenly aggressive* “What are you doing?”

Me: “I have to check that this is the correct amount of money and it is our policy to ensure that all notes are genuine. I do the same for all notes I get handed.”

Customer: *grabs notes and starts to count them out in front of me quickly*

Me: “Sir, I need to count the money myself so I can check each note.”

Customer: “I am not a criminal!”

Me: *getting suspicious* “I am not saying you are, sir. I am only doing my job as thoroughly as I can. Sometimes fake notes can be picked up by accident and the person who has them is not aware they are fake. But if I were to allow one into the till it could be passed to another customer and at that point the shop would have committed a criminal offence and could be held liable. I need to check the notes.”

(I pick up the notes and start to check them again.)

Customer: “I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!”

(The manager comes over at the noise.)

Me: “Please calm down, sir!”

Manager: “[My Name], what is going on?!”

Me: “This gentleman is not allowing me to check and count his money.”

Manager: “Please calm down, sir, or we will have to call security.”

Customer: *screaming at the top of his lungs* “I AM NOT A CRIMINAL! WHY ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE THIS?! I WILL F****** SLIT YOUR THROAT, YOU F****** B****!”

(Security came running over and the customer was restrained. When we checked his money all but £100 of it was fake. The police were called.)

Customers Of Substance

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I clean up the table after a group of boys leave. I look on the floor and see a bag of illegal substance. I give it to the manager and she calls the police. After the police leave, one of the boys comes back in and walks to their same table trying to find something.)

Me: *to customer* “It’s not there anymore.”

Customer: “Yeah, can I have that back?”

Me: “Sir, I gave it to the police.”

Customer: “So, I can’t have it back?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not mine anyway. It’s my friend’s.”

Me: “You came back to claim something illegal that’s not even yours…”

Customer: “Yeah…”

Me: “You should probably leave before the police come back.”

(My coworkers and I couldn’t stop laughing about it all night! Silly college students!)

I Am (Not) Sick Of All The Attention

| UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body

(I work in the accident and emergency department of a hospital. It’s a Friday night, and Girl #1 has just come in with anaphylaxis. I am with Girl #2 at this point, who came in via ambulance.)

Girl #2: “My friend [Girl #1] is here at the moment, and everyone was fussing over her so much! She’s fine, right?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen her.”

Girl #2: “I know she’s fine. Everyone is making such a big deal out of this. That’s why I called the ambulance. She can’t get all the attention to herself!”

Me: *confused* “Wait, what? So there’s nothing wrong with you? Why are you here?”

Girl #2: “But can you make it sound like I’m really ill? I need to be able to trump her!”