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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Gives New Meaning To ‘Can I Take Your Order’

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am in line at a deli. You place your order at the front counter, they make it, call out your name, and you pick it up at the back counter. It’s lunch time, so the line’s out the door.)

Employee: “Susan!”

(A male customer in a business suit walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “What’s the order?”

Employee: “Chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

Employee: “Jerry!”

Customer: “What’s that order?”

Employee: “Do you not remember what name your order was under?”

Customer: “Nah, I just don’t feel like waiting in line, so I figured I’d just wait until a ham and cheese came up, and grab it.”

In Hot Water Now

| Canada | Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a swimming pool. One of our regular customers is standing at the payphone and glancing at me every so often. He picks up the receiver, but doesn’t put money in. He then moves his mouth like he’s talking, still checking on me. I’m suspicious he’ll try to sneak in, so I step out of his view. Sure enough, I hear his footsteps.)

Me: *coming back into view* “Hi, sir! Here to use the hot tub?”

(The customer grumbles and throws his admission fee at the counter.)

Me: “You enjoy it!”

(I smile at him brightly despite his dirty look.)

Going To Go Over Like A Lead Balloon

| Dallas, TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I am at a sale in a store when I hear this exchange:)

Customer #1: *to Customer #2’s young son* “Aww, look, you’ve got a balloon!”

Customer #2: “Yeah, I stole it from a display.”