icon_criminals

Category: Criminal & Illegal

The Fall Of The Call

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. What can I get you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a large pepperoni pizza, no pepperoni, and six orders of fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a dozen cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, and four fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have gum?”

Me: “No, but I do have caller id, and will be giving your number to the police if you call here again.”

Caller: *click*

Not Feeling Neutral About Your Parking

| NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(It is the day before Good Friday, and the store is packed full of people. Obviously, so is the parking lot. A cart pusher has just brought in a handful of carts, and a greeter is tagging bags. One customer, already looking angry, heads straight to the elder greeter and tries to hand her his car keys.)

Customer: “Go park my car.”

Greeter: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t offer a valet service here.”

Customer: “There’s no f****** parking spaces. Go park my f****** car!”

Greeter: “Sir, I just got back from work after having a heart attack. What makes you think I’m going to be able to drive your car, let alone find you a parking space, when you haven’t?”

Cart Pusher: “Where is your car right now? Parking in the fire lane makes working and shopping here dangerous. I can have you towed.”

(Customer went beet red and left, hopefully back to his car!)

Going To Get Charged With Nine Months

| CT, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in this small grocery store and we don’t get many customers until one day…)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, could you help me with my stuff.”

(The lady has a large stomach.)

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

(I help her, but she slips a bit and I see a watermelon sticking out a bit from her shirt.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to remove the watermelon from your shirt.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DISRESPECTFUL B****?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREGNANT?!”

Me: “I can see it slipping from your shirt…”

(At this point the customer started running away, but fell over herself. The watermelon splattered everywhere and she kept screaming MY BABY! MY POOR BABY! but realized it was useless and she was caught. That really made my day.)

Related:
See this story as a comic!