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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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Trying To Pass On The Credit To You

| Provo, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I’m cashiering when a customer approaches me and turns in a lost credit card she found lying on the floor in front of the doors. I take it, make note of the name on the card, and place it in the safe behind the registers. About twenty minutes later, I get a phone call from a woman saying she thinks her credit card is still at the store. I verify the name on the card, and tell her we did find it. She comes back into the store a few minutes later.)

Customer: “I’m here for a lost credit card.”

Me: “Okay, let me just check your ID!”

(The names again match up, and I return the card to her.)

Customer: “Can I get the name of the girl who rang up my purchase? She never gave me back my card.”

Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure she did. Another customer found the card on the floor by the doors. I think you may have dropped it, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, I’m pretty sure she kept it from me. I’d like her name. When I find extra charges on the card I’m calling your manager and turning her in!”

Me: “Ma’am, she has worked here for three years, and I know for a fact she would never steal your credit card. There’s no way she could have kept your card, made purchases, and dropped it over by the door all while still being on the clock and ringing at the registers.”

(At this moment, the coworker in question, whose shift has just ended, walks past the registers on her way out. I ask her about the card.)

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, I do remember handing your card back to you. You put everything back in your wallet but kept the card in your hand as you walked away.”

Customer: “You’re lying! Give me your name! I’m going home to check my bank account and if there are any extra charges on my card I’m calling corporate and the police on you!”

Coworker: “My name is [Coworker] and I promise you won’t find any extra charges on your card.”

(The customer stormed out of the store in reply. There were never any extra charges placed on her card.)

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Should Keep Their Hopes Low About Getting High

| UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I’m working the Sunday shift on my own at the counter, when three young boys in their teens walk in.)

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

Customer #1: “We’re looking for some salvia.”

Me: “Excuse me… what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer #1: “Salvia.”

Me: *having never heard of this* “I… I’m not sure…”

Customer #2: “SALVIA, you dumb b****! SAL-VEEEE-AAAA!”

Me: “What is it used for?”

Customer #1: *sighs* “I thought you were meant to know all about this stuff? It’s a drug, to get you high, like weed or heroin and stuff.”

Me: “…”

Customer #2: “It’s legal. They haven’t banned it yet!”

Me: “We… we don’t sell recreational drugs here.”

Customer #3: “Well, then, where the h*** are we meant to get it?”

Me: “You could try your local dealer…”

(To this day I still don’t know what possessed them into thinking that a pharmacy would sell recreational drugs!)

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Like Stealing Candy From A Baby

| Renfrewshire, Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(While shopping, I notice two typically cute toddlers eagerly running down the sweets aisle, ahead of their parents.)

Toddler: *loudly and cheerfully* “I’m going to steal something!”

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A Well-Red Book

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, yes, I had a book on hold there. I came to pick it up this morning and it was taking too long for the guy to help other people so I left!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about the wait; we only have one person in the store this week due to our owners getting married last weekend.”

Caller: “I’m not done! So I came back and parked in the red zone at the corner, picked up my book and when I got back, I had a $115 ticket!”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, but I don’t know what I can do for you about that.”

Caller: “My point is that it took longer to get service in your store than for her to give me a ticket!”

Me: “You parked in a red zone. It doesn’t matter how long you were there for; it’s still illegal.”

Caller: “You should put a sign in front of your store saying that if you park in the red zone while shopping there you’ll get a ticket!”

Me: “Isn’t that what the red paint is for?”

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A Scrambled Sense Of The Law

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(Working for the local cable office we often get questions about services that are connected to TV, but not necessarily a service we provide.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys rent cable descramblers?”

Me: “Oh, do you mean antennas to get over-the-air channels?”

Customer: “No, cable descramblers for the people that want TV stations but don’t want to pay for them.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That’s not how business works. I can either set you up for TV or you can get an antenna.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I get a descrambler?”

Me: “Because they are illegal, ma’am.”

(The customer went wide eyed and immediately changed the subject.)

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