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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Passes It No Sweat

| Okotoks, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body

(A customer brings over a pair of wool socks and a large pack of toe warmers to my till. He is in his early twenties, but seems nice enough.)

Me: “Getting ready for the cold weather? I heard it’s supposed to snow.”

Customer: “No, it’s for a drug test.”

(Thinking I didn’t hear right.)

Me: “What?”

Customer: “They help me pass my drug test, every time.”

Me: “…”

How To Spot A Smoking Gun

| Shrewsbury, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I manage a tobacco store and the law says we cannot sell any tobacco products to anyone under 18 and MUST card if customer looks under 30. A young girl and older woman enter store and at the door the young girl hands cash to older woman. Right away I know that she is underage and older woman is buying for her which is illegal. I know I cannot sell at this point but let them come in to see how it goes down.)

Me: “Hello, how are you? What can I get for you today?”

(Both stand there staring intently at the cigarette display without speaking. After a solid minute I ask the older woman:)

Me: “What brand do you normally smoke?”

(She turns to young girl and says:)

Woman: “Well? What do you smoke?”

(I immediately address the young girl and ask for I.D.)

Woman: *very rudely* “I’m buying them, not her!”

(I state that now I know she is buying for a minor I legally cannot sell either one cigarettes.)

Girl: *starts screaming at woman* “Grandma! WHY DID YOU ASK ME THAT? Now I can’t get my smokes!”

Vexed, Lies & Videotape

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Wild & Unruly

(I am sitting down with my friends at a cafe when some rather loud customers come in. I think they’ve been partying or something, because they won’t stop talking rather loudly and giggling.)

Cashier: “What can I get you ladies?”

Customer #1: “Well, you could stop dressing like a f****** emo for one.”

(The cashier simply has dyed black hair and nails.)

Cashier: “Please stop being rude.”

Customer #2: “Err, no! It’s a free country. We can say what we like, you dumb b****!”

Cashier: “Just stop this.”

Customer #1: “No, get us [order] and get snappy about it, b****, or I’ll tell the manager you hit me!”

Me: “That won’t work! We’ve been watching you!”

Customer #2: “And what the h*** are you gonna do about it, b****? *walks up to me and throws my food on the floor* “Oh, look, you can’t do anything.”

Me: “I can. I know there are cameras here.”

Customer #2: “As. If. You. Slut.”

Cashier: “I’m getting my manager. Hopefully he can sort you out and ban you from here.”

Customer #3: “Oh, come on! We’re paying customers. You can’t throw us out.”

Cashier: “It doesn’t matter; you’re causing a scene and you need to pay for that young woman’s food.”

Customer #1: “As. F***.”

(The manager comes from a back room and looks exhausted anyway so I don’t think he’ll even try to make the girls leave. I get up and go over just in case he needs help.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, your cashier spat in my face, so I think we need a free meal.

Manager: “The only thing you’re getting for free around here is a one-way ticket out of here. I’ve had a really hard time with lots of people are coming in for Christmas. I’ve been up all night and I really just don’t want any hassle.”

Customer #3: “Well, don’t and don’t throw us out.”

(The manager looks almost tired enough to give in. The cashier looks at him horrified as I take my turn.)

Me: “The video cameras have enough footage of you insulting and being violent so I can just call the police right now and have them arrest you.”

(The customers look truly scared. They begin to run, with the cashier and I trying to stop them getting out the door but they throw things from the tables at us, including dishes, vinegar and even chairs. I get a gash on my shoulder and the cashier is struck in the face but they get out.)

Manager: “Don’t worry, I saw their licence.”

(I saw later that they were arrested.)