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Category: Criminal & Illegal

No Kidding About The Kid, Part 2

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

(The store I work at is on a busy street with a lot of bars and very little available parking, so a lot of non-customers will illegally park in our lot despite the numerous signs. A tow company comes by on the busier evenings and take the cars of those not in the store to their lot. I often have to handle irate people who are angry about their car being towed and the release charges. At about 11:30 pm, a woman stumbles into the store, obviously inebriated, and demands to know where her car is.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you were not in our store while your car was parked in our lot it was most likely towed.”

Her: “Are you f****** kidding me? I was only gone two hours… What gives you the right to take my car?!”

Me: “Well, per our signs in the lot, you cannot park there unless you are patronizing our store. It was a tow company that took your car.”

Her: “This is bullshit! You crooks took my car and I bet my iPad will be missing from it, too!”

Me: “I doubt that, but here is the number of the tow company for you to call.”

Her: “Ugh, my kids are probably still in there, too!”

Me: *praying I’ve misheard her* “Excuse me, did you say YOUR KIDS?!”

Her: “Yeah. God d*** it; this is f****** unbelievable!”

Me: “Sure is… Tell you what; I’ll call the company for you because you seem a little upset.”

Her: “Yeah, DO THAT. It’s your job!”

(I called the tow company to ask if they’d found her kids. They had, recently, and had them warming up in the office. It is late February.)

Me: “Hey… can you write down your name and plate number in case your, um, iPad is missing?”

Her: “D*** right! You’ll hear from my lawyer if it isn’t!”

(As soon as she left in a cab, I called the police and explained the situation. They met her at the tow lot and arrested her.)

Related:
No Kidding About The Kid

Don’t Fret Over A Cigarette

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(I work security at an arena that hosts professional hockey games. Often, during intermissions, patrons try to smoke cigarettes inside the stairwells instead of the outdoor smoking areas, which is against state law.)

Me: “Hey, you can’t smoke in here.”

Patron: “It’s okay, man. It’s not a cigarette.”

Me: “Sorry man, no e-cigarettes inside either. They look too much like regular cigarettes, and people complain.”

Patron: “Come on, man. It’s not a cigarette.”

(As I am walking over to him, a distinctive smell hits my nose.)

Me: “Is… is that pot?”

(I told him that I would escort him to the outdoor smoking area, but I led him to the cops and explained the situation. As I walked away, I kept hearing him repeat, ‘but it’s not a cigarette!’)

Trying To Copyright The Wrong

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(A customer comes to me a wallet sized photo of a baby that was clearly taken in a studio.)

Customer: “Can you enlarge this for me?”

Me: “Oh, was this taken by a professional?”

Customer: “Yes, of cour— No. No, it wasn’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, without written permission from the photographer, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “I don’t care about copyright.”

Me: “I do. Company policy says that we can’t copy any professional photos.”

Customer: “No, it wasn’t professional. The mother took it. Can you just show me how to do it in self-serve?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it looks professional, so I can’t assist you with it.”

Customer: “It’s not professional!”

Me: “It looks professional to me, so unfortunately, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Yes. I’m serious.”

Customer: *rudely* “Fine. Are you working tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “UGH! Fine, I’ll just buy this then.”

(I meet her at the register to ring up her item.)

Customer: *in a snotty, ‘I’m better than you’ tone* “Life is too short to follow the rules.”

Me: “It’s also too short to get fired.”