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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Will Need To Waive The Wave Excuse

| Spokane, WA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Rude & Risque

(I am a security officer at a medical insurance facility. The street we are located on isn’t exactly reputable, and we get a lot of trouble from ‘ladies of the evening’ attempting to solicit our clients or even our associates. While on patrol, I notice one of our repeat offenders very blatantly trying to flag down traffic.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here as a client, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Lady: “No, it’s fine; I’m not even doing anything.” *continues to wave*

Me: “Ma’am, this is a private campus. You can’t—”

Lady: “No, really, it’s fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police on you for trespassing—”

Lady: *now getting rather heated* “I’m not doing anything wrong!”

Me: “Then what are you doing here, trying to wave down traffic?”

Lady: *without hesitation* “I’m not waving down traffic. I’m waving at the wind!”

(There is a long pause as the woman apparently processed how stupid this sounded. She then smiled, and quickly walked away. To this day I’m still not sure this was spur of the moment, or worse, a rehearsed excuse.)

Sandwiched Between The Truth And The Law

| Kirksville, MO, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(A customer who is also a police officer comes through the drive thru with an empty sandwich box and his receipt. We ran out of the double quarter boxes so we’ve been using regular quarter ones and placing a sticker on top to tell them apart. This customer has one of the regular boxes with a sticker. He states he was given the wrong sandwich and demands another one even though the receipt is for double quarter and the box is correct. I ask my manager.)

Manager: “No. If the receipt and the box are both correct and they’ve already eaten the sandwich, I’m not going to just give him free food.”

(I return to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but both the box and the receipt are for a double quarter pounder and multiple coworkers say they checked it, and it was correct before you ate it.”

Police Officer: “Are you saying I’m a liar?”

Me: “I’m not saying you’re a liar—”

Police Officer: “Me? An officer of the law? You’re saying I’m lying just to get free food! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Sir, I didn’t say you’re a liar. I’m saying we can’t prove it was the wrong sandwich because the box is correct and you’ve already eaten the food.”

Police Officer: “But you charged me for a double sandwich and gave me a single.”

Me: “Except the box—”

Police Officer: “I’m an officer of the law. Do you think I would just lie?! YOU CHARGED ME FOR THE WRONG SANDWICH.” *starts getting very confrontational*

Me: “Which you ate. The box is for what you paid for. My coworkers double check the orders and make sure they’re correct. I’m not saying you’re a liar, but everything on our end says it is the right sandwich, and my manager has already said no.

Police Officer: “What?! Are you kidding me? I want to speak to them immediately.”

(I give up and go get my manager. She tries to reason with him for a good minute before I hear him yell something I can’t understand and he speeds off.)

Manager: “He tried to pull Ferguson on me, saying we would have given him his food if it wasn’t for that shooting. I told him I didn’t know what I could do for him, but it wasn’t going to be a sandwich!”

Not Booked For Stealing

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(In the store where I work, to prevent theft, a security alarm at the doors will go off if your items have not been scanned. At the same time, we’re never allowed to accuse someone of stealing. A woman walks through the doors to leave and the alarm sounds off and she comes to a halt, so I approach her.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Sorry about that. Do you want me to go re-scan those to make sure the alarm won’t sound off when you walk out again?”

Customer: “Oh, I think these might have accidentally fallen into my pockets. I’m sorry…”

(She then pulled out two books from her coat pockets, handed them to me, turned, and walked out, leaving my coworker and me very confused.)