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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Take Your Hat Off To Their Detective Skills

| UK | Criminal & Illegal, Holidays

(A customer has been telling me about all the break-ins recently over Christmas, and how a lot of houses have been robbed in the village.)

Customer: “Yeah, the police told us that a CCTV camera caught some young guy wearing a woolly hat.”

Me: *looks up at customer who is wearing woolly hat*

Customer: *quickly snatches hat off his head* “Oh, my, it’s not me. NOT ME!”

Weeding Out The Bad Customers

| Australia | Criminal & Illegal

(I work in the kitchen department in a well known retail chain when a toothless young man who looks and smells like he hasn’t bathed in a while approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you have anything electric that can grind… herbs?”

Me: “Sure, we have a basic herb chopper, but if you want to grind it fine you might need a coffee grinder.”

Customer: “I don’t want to lie to you…” *whispers* “It’s for weed.”

Me: “I figured.”

Customer: “”What do you use to grind your weed?”

(I don’t use the stuff.)

Me: “This coffee grinder here. It’s perfect for the job”

Customer: “Thanks. Please don’t tell the cops.”

An Overly-Expectant Mother

| MD, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I work as a cashier in a popular clothing store. During the daytime we often have stay-at-home moms come in. In the area I work in, they are often very out of touch with reality. This one customer comes in alone with four small children in tow. I am the only cashier on the floor and I am about to do my regular check on the fitting room.)

Customer: “I need you to watch my kids while I go find a bathing suit.”

Me: “I cannot watch your children. You need to keep them with you.”

Customer: “Why not? You’re standing here anyway. Just watch them. I’ll be a minute.”

Me: “Ma’am, take your children with you. Leaving them alone is a liability that the store does not assume.”

Customer: “It’s just for a minute! Watch them for ONE minute!”

Me: “No. Keep your children with you or I will have to ask you to leave. You are not allowed to leave your children in the store unattended.”

Customer: “Oh, for crying out loud! Do any of you people understand what customer service is about? Where am I supposed to leave my children to shop?”

Me: “With a babysitter. There is also a drop-in daycare center two blocks away.”

Customer: *throws her hands up* “You’ve ruined my day. I guess moms aren’t allowed to shop!”

Me: “You can shop with your children. We allow children in the store if they’re with their parents.”

Customer: “Sometimes I need a break, too! Why is that so much to ask?!”

Me: “Well, that’s what the daycare centers are for. You could always try one of those.”

Customer: *storming away* “I guess I’m not allowed to shop now that I have kids!”