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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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Going To Racism At Break-Neck(lace) Speed

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I work as an usher, and one of my duties is to clean up the theater once it lets out. I am also black.)

Manager: *answering the phone* “Hello? This is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: ‘Yes, I was at the theater the other day and I lost my necklace. I think that black usher took it.”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I’m sorry you lost your necklace, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t take it.”

Customer: “But he’s always cleaning out the theaters once the movie is over. He had to have come across it.”

Manager: “Yes, that’s his job, and anything he finds, he turns in up front.”

Customer: “Just confront him about it. I’m pretty sure that he has it.”

(A few days later, she calls back.)

Manager: “Hello, this is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to apologize. I called the other day about losing a necklace, and I thought that your usher took it. Turns out it was in the bottom of my purse the whole time.”

Manager: “Ah, I see…’

Customer: ‘Um… he didn’t get into any trouble over this, did he?”

Manager: “No, because I trust him.”

(He didn’t even tell me about any of this until some time later.)

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What An Old Bag

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I’m working the front desk of a grocery store. The employee that is assigned to collect the shopping carts from the parking lot brings in a purse he found left behind. Most women are happy and relieved their purse is returned. The woman who owns this purse comes in a few minutes later.)

Woman: *in a rush and in a near panic* “Did someone turn in a purse? I just pulled out of the parking lot and realized it was missing and it wasn’t where I left my cart.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, a purse was turned in. Can you describe it to me?”

(She describes the purse exactly and I go in the back, get it and give it to her.)

Woman: *relieved* “Oh, thank you so much. Did someone turn it in?”

Me: “Yes, one of the guys just turned it in a couple of minutes ago.”

Woman: “Which one?”

Me: “[Employee]. He’s bringing in a load of carts now.”

(The woman walks over to him and goes into psycho mode in an instant.)

Woman: “Did you turn in my purse?”

Employee: “Yes, I found it.”

Woman: *raising her voice* “Did you steal anything from it?”

Employee: “No! I just turned it in.”

Woman: *waving her finger in his face* “If you even peeked in here I’ll have you up on charges!”

Employee: “No! I didn’t…”

(The manager overhears this.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I was outside when I saw him find your purse. He brought it inside and immediately turned it in.”

Woman: “So you are all in on this? You all had plenty of time to go through here and steal something. If there is so much as a nickel missing from here, the next time I come in here it will be with the police!” *storms out*

Manager: “Have a nice day?”

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Severely Lacking In Awesome Sauce

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(I am closing drive-thru. We have packets of our signature sauce for drive-thru customers, but we also have pumps of it out in the lobby. Due to health code regulations, we’re not allowed to use the pumps for serving to customers.)

Customer: “Hey, do you mind if I get [Sauce]?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *I try to hand her some packets*

Customer: “Actually, can you put some sauce in a side cup for me from the pump in the lobby?”

(After explaining the health code to her, she suddenly gets very unreasonable.)

Customer: “What do you mean it’s unsanitary?! I’m going to go in there, dump out all of the sauce onto the floor, and make you replace it.”

(I have no patience after a long night.)

Me: “Well, you’re welcome to try, but you’ll be leaving in handcuffs.”

(At this point she just sped off.)

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Should Have Taken Notarize

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in an auto tag shop. Because of the high volume of paperwork that requires notary, my boss requires anyone who gets hired to get their notary license. We do general notary work as well, but we also tend to know a little more about notarizing motor vehicle paperwork because that’s what we do all day. I got this phone call one afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I’m going to be selling a car, but I can’t arrange a time to meet up with the buyer. What can I do?”

Me: “Oh, no problem! What you can do is bring the title in to us and we’ll notarize it. Then you can give it to the buyer and he or she can do the transaction without you being there.”

Customer: “Oh, good! What do I need for that?”

Me: “You’ll need to bring us the title and your valid identification. You’ll also need the buyer’s name and address, the purchase price, and the approximate mileage on the car. Then, it’s five dollars and we only accept cash or check.”

Customer: “What if I don’t know the buyer’s name and address?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, we need that information. We can’t notarize the title without filling that information in on the back. If we do so, it’s called an open title, and that’s illegal.”

Customer: “But I don’t know who’s buying the car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until you have a buyer secured before you can get the title notarized.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Is there no place who will notarize this title for me?”

(The shop where I work is known for being extremely strict on the laws, while there are other shops who are a lot more lax as well as notaries who don’t know about open titles. It happens quite often that someone gets something illegal done at another shop and then is upset with us that we can’t do it as well, so I default to my usual answer in this situation.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t say that. I’m sure that there are notaries and tag shops out there who will do what you’re asking, but I have to warn you that they would be doing it illegally.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “An open title is illegal. There are plenty of tag shops out there who operate illegally and will do what you’re asking, but unfortunately we are not one of them.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, can you give me the phone number to one of those illegal shops?”

Me: “I’m sorry…? No, ma’am, I don’t have a list on hand of illegal tag shops.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay! I’ll find one on my own! Bye!” *hangs up*

Me: “What just happened?”

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I Want This Pretty Little Black(mail) Dress

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I fill in at a high-end resale shop owned by friends when they need someone. My roommate stops by to give me lunch and picks up a fairly expensive item her sister had ordered and paid for online. We chat for a while, and after she leaves, the only customer in the store comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “So that’s how it is, huh?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I give you a sandwich, do I get a free dress?”

Me: “That was already paid for.”

Customer: “Tell you what, sweetie. You give me these items for half off, and I don’t tell the store manager that you’re giving things away to your friends.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Or we can just call him and have your thieving a** hauled off to jail.”

(She has a really nasty smile. Unfortunately for her, the owner is under the counter working on something and hears every word. He abruptly stands up and she jumps back a little.)

Owner: “Or how ’bout we just kick your thieving a** out of the store?”

(He was absolutely incensed and forbade her from ever coming back. I can’t believe that she jumped to the conclusion that I was giving things away and then tried to blackmail me.)

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