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Category: Criminal & Illegal

No Kidding About The Kid, Part 2

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

(The store I work at is on a busy street with a lot of bars and very little available parking, so a lot of non-customers will illegally park in our lot despite the numerous signs. A tow company comes by on the busier evenings and take the cars of those not in the store to their lot. I often have to handle irate people who are angry about their car being towed and the release charges. At about 11:30 pm, a woman stumbles into the store, obviously inebriated, and demands to know where her car is.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you were not in our store while your car was parked in our lot it was most likely towed.”

Her: “Are you f****** kidding me? I was only gone two hours… What gives you the right to take my car?!”

Me: “Well, per our signs in the lot, you cannot park there unless you are patronizing our store. It was a tow company that took your car.”

Her: “This is bullshit! You crooks took my car and I bet my iPad will be missing from it, too!”

Me: “I doubt that, but here is the number of the tow company for you to call.”

Her: “Ugh, my kids are probably still in there, too!”

Me: *praying I’ve misheard her* “Excuse me, did you say YOUR KIDS?!”

Her: “Yeah. God d*** it; this is f****** unbelievable!”

Me: “Sure is… Tell you what; I’ll call the company for you because you seem a little upset.”

Her: “Yeah, DO THAT. It’s your job!”

(I called the tow company to ask if they’d found her kids. They had, recently, and had them warming up in the office. It is late February.)

Me: “Hey… can you write down your name and plate number in case your, um, iPad is missing?”

Her: “D*** right! You’ll hear from my lawyer if it isn’t!”

(As soon as she left in a cab, I called the police and explained the situation. They met her at the tow lot and arrested her.)

Related:
No Kidding About The Kid

Don’t Fret Over A Cigarette

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(I work security at an arena that hosts professional hockey games. Often, during intermissions, patrons try to smoke cigarettes inside the stairwells instead of the outdoor smoking areas, which is against state law.)

Me: “Hey, you can’t smoke in here.”

Patron: “It’s okay, man. It’s not a cigarette.”

Me: “Sorry man, no e-cigarettes inside either. They look too much like regular cigarettes, and people complain.”

Patron: “Come on, man. It’s not a cigarette.”

(As I am walking over to him, a distinctive smell hits my nose.)

Me: “Is… is that pot?”

(I told him that I would escort him to the outdoor smoking area, but I led him to the cops and explained the situation. As I walked away, I kept hearing him repeat, ‘but it’s not a cigarette!’)

Trying To Copyright The Wrong

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(A customer comes to me a wallet sized photo of a baby that was clearly taken in a studio.)

Customer: “Can you enlarge this for me?”

Me: “Oh, was this taken by a professional?”

Customer: “Yes, of cour— No. No, it wasn’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, without written permission from the photographer, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “I don’t care about copyright.”

Me: “I do. Company policy says that we can’t copy any professional photos.”

Customer: “No, it wasn’t professional. The mother took it. Can you just show me how to do it in self-serve?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it looks professional, so I can’t assist you with it.”

Customer: “It’s not professional!”

Me: “It looks professional to me, so unfortunately, I can’t copy it.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Yes. I’m serious.”

Customer: *rudely* “Fine. Are you working tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “UGH! Fine, I’ll just buy this then.”

(I meet her at the register to ring up her item.)

Customer: *in a snotty, ‘I’m better than you’ tone* “Life is too short to follow the rules.”

Me: “It’s also too short to get fired.”

Imprisoned By The Name

| Washington DC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a call center where we receive in-custody records from county jails and state prisons. Most people who call us or are routed to us by calling the jail think we are the jail they are calling. This call comes in on the DC line.)

Customer: “Um, hi, yes, I have a friend who is missing, and I want to know if he’s in jail there? His name is [Name]. But he could be in there with the last name [Other Name], too.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.” *runs search* “No, ma’am, there’s no one in the system by either name.”

Customer: “His name has to come up to for him to be in jail there, right?”

Me: “…that’s correct, ma’am.”

Racing To Prevent Theft

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a well-known ‘tween’ girl’s clothing store. I am half black, though I am very light-skinned, so most people just assume I’m white or Hispanic. During training, we’re taught about some of the common ways people shoplift, such as lining empty shopping bags with tinfoil. On this particular day, two black women come into my store carrying a number of shopping bags, at least two of which are empty and I can see tinfoil poking out of one. We are trained to be extra friendly and helpful to people we suspect of trying to shoplift. Since I am up front, I greet them.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thanks for shopping at [Store]. May I help you find anything today?”

Customer: *brusquely* “I’m all set! Leave me alone!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, but please let me know if I can help you with anything.”

(I go back to folding jeans, but keep a close eye on the customers. I notice them getting abnormally close to the jeans display, as though they might try to knock them into the empty bag.)

Me: “Just so you know, we’re having a special on these jeans right now. If you buy two pairs, you get $10 to spend on a future purchase.”

Customer: “I told you I didn’t need any help! Why are you following me?!” *I haven’t moved at all throughout this interaction*

Me: “I was just trying to tell you about the sale we’re having.”

Customer: “You’re racist! I don’t see you following anyone else in the store. You think I’m shoplifting! Racist!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you I’m not racist.”

(At this point a coworker of mine, who is also black, but noticeably so, has come over, as has one of my managers.)

Manager: “Is there something I can help you with today?”

Customer: *storms out of the store in a huff*

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