Category: Criminal & Illegal

Scammed Out Of Trans-cendentals

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I’m working at a hotel for the first time by myself late at night. A strange-looking customer walks in. I assume she’s a woman by her dress and heels she wears.)

Strange Customer: *in a strangely deep voice* “Hello, I’d like a room, if you don’t mind… Here’s my ID and credit card.”

(She hands them to me. I run it through.)

Me: “Sorry, it’s declined.”

Strange Customer: *strangely unsurprised* “Oh, I’ve been using it all day; probably I’m at my limit! Let me call my bank.”

(She makes a phone call that I can’t hear. I sense something amiss, and quickly photocopy her ID. She turns back to me.)

Strange Customer: “My bank says it’s all right now.”

Me: *running it again* “It still says declined.”

Strange Customer: “Oh, no, sweetie. All you have to do is put in this code…”

(She says a code and baffled, I type it in, doubting it will work. To my shock, it does, and the credit card goes through.)

Me: “Okay… well. Here’s your keys and sign the reg card…”

(I give her back the card and ID, and she saunters off. I think nothing of it until the next week, when a police officer comes by.)

Officer: “Yesm I need to talk to you about this guy.” *holds up photocopy of ID*

Me: “Oh yeah… I remember… Wait a minute — ‘he’?”

Officer: “Yes. Did he have a disguise?”

Me: “Yes, he was dressed as a woman!”

My Boss: “Come on, [My Name], that is clearly a man in the picture!”

Me: “I know. I just thought that he was a really ugly woman…”

Sew Inappropriate

| UK, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(I am in a fabric store looking at fabric for a friend’s Halloween costume, when an old lady enters and immediately comes over to me and stares for several minutes. I ignore her. She leaves, and I see her peeking around a corner at me several times. After a few minutes a policeman comes up to me.)

Policeman: “Can we take your name and address, sir?”

Me: “Okay, it’s [Address]. What’s up?”

Policeman: “We had a report that a gentleman matching your description was disrupting business here. Would you mind leaving?”

Me: “I just need to pay for my products.”

(At this point an assistant comes over and vouches for me. The police talk with the assistant. Suddenly the old lady comes barreling back.)

Old Lady: “Men should not be allowed to sew! If you were one of mine, I’d take you across my knee! This is pure sexism!” *she then slaps me* “There! Now learn your lesson and stop your evil ways.”

Policeman: *right behind her* “Ahem. Madam, would you mind stepping into the car?”

That Benefit Went Straight Down The Faucet

| Rio Rancho, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Money

(I work at a home improvement store. A customer has picked out a faucet.)

Me: “Great! We have that exact one in stock. While I set up this order, I will have someone go get it from the warehouse for you!”

Customer: “That’s perfect! What do I owe?”

Me: “$103.00. That can be cash, check, or card.”

Customer: *hands me a card*

Me: “Uhm. This is a EBT card.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know.”

Me: “Uhm, food stamps only work on food and necessities. Did you mean to give me a credit or debit?”

Customer: “No, just charge the card I gave you.”

Me: “Uhm, ma’am, I cannot do that. This is a state issued EBT card. It’s not meant to be used for household fixtures, just food and some basic supplies. My computer won’t even accept it if I did enter the information.”

Customer: “I want it charged to that card! That is why I gave you that card!”

Me: “I understand that; however, that is not how these cards work.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because the state issues them for families who cannot afford food, water, formula, or other needs. But it has to be for a need that is basic to supporting life, not things like faucets or even clothes.”

Customer: “But I NEED a new faucet.”

Me: “Well, if you are renting, the owner of the property should be the own who replaces it. If you own your residence, I can ring this up with cash, check, or a bank issued card.”

Customer: “Just swipe the card I gave you!”

Me: “This is a state issued food stamp card. I cannot.”

Customer: “This is discrimination because you think I am poor!”

Me: “Ma’am, I do not judge based on how much money a customer happens to have. However, I can refuse forms of payment that either do not work, will not work, or are illegal to attempt to use.”

Customer: “Illegal? Now you don’t think I am American!”

Me: “What? I said forms of payment that are illegal to use.”

Customer: “You are calling me an illegal!”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot help you. Nor can I sell you this with the payment you offered me. You can either give me a legal, bank issued form of payment or not buy from this store.”

Customer: “How dare you!” *flounces out*

An Alarming Lack Of Parenting

, | Bucks County, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(We share a building with a popular candle store that is notorious for setting the fire alarms off. I have been working with a customer who is amassing a rather large pile of clothing, lingerie, and makeup. She is letting her ten-year-old son run all over the store and not stopping him from pulling the pants down on all of the mannequins in the store, picking up handfuls of underpants and throwing them, and spraying the employees with a bottle of tester perfume. I am being a good sport and putting up with it because she is going to spend a lot of money and she is being pleasant with me. All of a sudden, the fire alarm goes off.)

Me: “Oh, no, [Candle Store] must have set off the fire alarms again. We are going to have to vacate the building. I’m sorry, ma’am. If you want me to hold the clothes at the register, I can finish your transaction as soon as they give us the all clear to come back in.”

Customer: “No, that won’t be necessary. There’s no fire, so we can stay in the shop.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I know you cannot see a fire, but since we share this building with a candle store, there may very well be a fire in the building and it just has not spread to this shop. It’s a potentially dangerous situation, and we need to vacate the building for our safety until the fire company arrives and says it’s okay.”

Customer: *now getting annoyed* “I told you there’s no fire! Do you see a fire? No! That’s because there’s no fire! My son was annoyed that I was taking so long, so he pulled the fire alarm. He does that sometimes to let me know it’s time to go.”

(My store manager comes up to us as we are the only ones left in the store. She tries to shoo us out but the customer repeats her story to my manager.)

Manager: “Wait, wait, wait. Your son pulled the fire alarm because he was bored?”

Customer: “Yes, I saw him heading toward it and I said “[Kid], don’t you dare!” and he smiled and did it anyway and ran off. I don’t know where he is now.”

(My manager and I stand there in shocked silence as the firemen burst through the doors.)

Fireman #1: “Wow, for once it wasn’t the candle shop!”

Fireman #2: *noticing us* “What are you guys doing in here? You need to get out of the building!”

Customer: *now exasperated* “No, it’s okay. My son pulled the alarm. Now can we please finish ringing up my stuff so I can pay and leave before he does something else?”

Firefighter #2: “Ma’am, pulling a fire alarm for no reason is punishable by a fine.”

(The customer dropped all her stuff as if it was on fire and proceeded to sprint out of the store and head to the parking lot. Her son popped out of a display rack and went after her with Fireman #1 chasing them down. I’m not sure what happened to her after he caught her.)

A Legal Standing

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(Just the pharmacist and I are working the late shift, around 2:00 am. at a popular 24-hour pharmacy. An elderly woman, who has a reputation for getting prescriptions early, hands me a script for painkillers.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, I need this filled.”

Me: *for narcotics, our store requires we ask vague questions to help weed out fraudulence* “All righty, is this from today?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, but I want it dated for three days ago.”

Me: “Forgive me?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. You all cheated me out of my pills, so I had to wait three days for my refill. So you will date it three days early so that i can get it early from now on.”

(The pharmacist, a 65-year-old man who’s so close to retirement he’s not afraid of being fired, hears the conversation and comes over.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, I’m the pharmacist. Can I help you with something?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. Your technician refuses to fill my prescription. I want you to fill it and date it for three days ago.”

Pharmacist: “No. It is against the law to do so. I will fill and date it for today.” *turns to leave*

Elderly Customer: “Hey, a**-hole! I’m not done with you!”

(At this point, the pharmacist turns slowly around. I am searching for cover.)

Elderly Customer: “You’re gonna fill my d*** pills for how I want! I’m the customer!”

Pharmacist: “What you are asking is so illegal, it isn’t even physically possible to do with our software.”

Elderly Customer: “It’s not illegal where I’m standing.”

(The elderly customer gives a big grin like she has won. The pharmacist proceeds to walk around the counter, out of the pharmacy, and stands next to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “Ehhh. Nope! It’s illegal over here, too. Good luck getting that filled, though.”

(He handed her the prescription, and she stormed away screaming curses.)

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