Category: Criminal & Illegal

Needs To Get His Fax Straight

| WA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Technology

(We are a small library without a public fax machine. We have a private business fax machine for office use only. We still get spam faxes because the number is publicly listed.)

Me: “Well, I was going to send the weekly report to accounting but something is coming in on the fax.”

Coworker: “Ooooh, is it another offer for a discount trip to Bermuda?”

Me: “It’s some financial thing. Man, it’s eight pages long. Woah. This is someone’s debt consolidation paperwork.”

Coworker: “What? Is it for someone who works here?”

Me: “No… but they apparently live in town.”

(I attempt to call the customer multiple times as a courtesy, but their voice-mail inbox is full. They show up the next day anyway.)

Customer: “Hi. So, uh you should have some papers for me?”

Me: “Did you have your financial institution use the library’s fax line?”

Customer: “No, it was their idea. They say they do that for a lot of customers.”

Me: “Ok. You need to explain to them that isn’t appropriate. Our fax machine is for library business only. I actually thought your fax was spam at first because we weren’t expecting anything. It could have been shredded. It’s also not very secure. We have volunteers and maintenance staff coming and going all the time and we don’t guard the fax machine because we don’t normally receive sensitive documents. We had to look over these papers just to figure out what they were and there is information on here that we did not need to know about you, like your social security number. We couldn’t reach you to warn you either. If you had contacted us first we could have told you not to use our fax.”

Customer: “Oh… so, like, does that mean I can’t send my paperwork back through you guys?”

Me: “You may not. There is a pay-fax machine at the copy shop across town. Please inform the company not to use our fax again. Any other paperwork that is sent will be shredded.”

(The customer shrugged and left. I’m still not sure I got through to them. At the very least I know never do business with that debt consolidation company!)

Two Copyrights Still Make It Wrong

| Absecon, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(If a photo is professionally taken, the photographer legally owns the picture, and we need a release form from them to make a copy of it. It doesn’t matter if it is a picture of you, your child, whatever; they still own that picture. A woman came in to try to make copies of a school photo of her granddaughter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s a professional photo. We legally can’t make copies of it.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s my granddaughter!”

Me: “Yes, but the photographer owns the rights to it. You’d have to get a release form from them for us to make a copy.”

Customer: “Fine. What about this one?”

(The customers hands me the exact same picture, except it is in black and white, not color.)

Me: “…No, still can’t. It’s still a professional photo. It doesn’t matter if it’s not color.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine.”

Will Not Lie Down On This Job

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

Caller: “Do you do polygraphs for infidelity problems?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Do you charge money for them?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I can already see where this is going, but I remain professional.)

Caller: “Uhm, do you do the kind, where, uh…”

Me: “Maybe it would help if you could explain the situation to me.”

Caller: “Well… my brother’s wife wants him to take a polygraph for cheating on her and he knows he would fail. Do you do the ones where you just write up something and what do you charge?”

Me: “No, sir! That would be…”

Caller: “Illegal? They do ’em in Texas.”

Me: “Well, we don’t do ‘that kind’ and no polygrapher with professional standards would. It would be unethical.”

Caller: “But not illegal… right?”

Finally Tagged You

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(Our store sells used clothing. An elderly woman and her even older mother come in every Wednesday, which has 50% off a specific tag color. The price tags (which are stapled on) are always hanging off their purchases. We know she is changing them while in the dressing room but can’t prove it.)

Me: “Hello! Find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes. A few of the tags fell off while I was trying them on, though.”

Me: *noticing one specific outfit, tag barely on* “I’m sorry; this one is not on sale.”

Customer: “But it’s the sale color!”

Me: “Ma’am, I priced this myself this morning. You changed the tags.”

(The customer turned all shades of red and stormed out with her mother. It was a few months before she came back, and all the tags were secure and correct from then on!)

Shot Himself In The Foot

| NV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(I’m a cashier in a sporting goods store. All of our more expensive products – anything from firearms and ammo to football gloves and high-end sunglasses – are kept behind a counter that is separate from the registers and located right next to the manager’s office. The managers are the only ones who have the keys to the knife drawers and gun cabinets, but any employee can handle small stuff like ammo and sunglasses. Customers are NOT allowed to get their own ammo – only a store associate can grab it for them and it MUST be brought up to the registers by that associate to prevent theft.)

Me: “Hi there! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Ammo. I have a BB gun and I need the ammo for it.”

Me: “Absolutely! If you go back over there—” *points to gun counter* “—I’ll call someone over and they can help you.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(He heads over to the counter and I intercom one of my managers to help him. As soon as I hang up the phone, a line starts up at my register, so I begin working through the line. A few minutes later, I see one of my coworkers slip behind me and set a package of BBs on my counter, with the customer following right behind them.)

Me: “Find everything all right?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m a bit upset at your manager. He barked at me while I was over there.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah, he snapped at me for going behind the counter.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Yeah, I got tired of waiting, so I went back there and grabbed them off the shelf.”

(From the time I sent him over to the counter to the time he walked back to my register, a whopping two minutes had passed, hardly a long wait for a store our size. I was honestly stunned that my head manager hadn’t killed him, or at least tackled him to the ground, for pulling a stunt like that.)

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir.” *finishes transaction* “Have a nice day.”

(Once he left, I turned to my coworker and frowned, pondering how he managed to rationalize the act of going behind the gun counter of a national sporting goods retailer and NOT think it was a bad idea.)

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