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Category: Criminal & Illegal

Thinks Very Highly Of Your Cakes

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator at a well known and respectable bakery. We take orders over the phone, as well as in person. One day, I received an unusual phone call. After writing down the basics of her order…)

Woman: “Can you make it a pot cake?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Woman: “Can you put the pot in it?”

Me: “You mean you want marijuana baked into your cake?”

Woman: “Yes! A lot of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do that.”

Woman: “Well, can you at least draw a pot leaf on the top of the cake?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am not allowed to do that, either. I can decorate it with a different picture, or write something on it if you want.”

Woman: “Okay, then write on it.”

Me: “What do you want it to say?”

Woman: “Happy Birthday, Mom.”

Knows How To Rock The Boat

| Lake Oconee, GA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work at a marina on a lake in a very affluent community. Many of our customers own $200k+ boats. About 30 minutes before closing, a customer pulls up to the fuel tanks in a very nice jet boat.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Marina]!”

Customer: “Hi, can you just fill the tank?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I proceed to fill the tank. Since it is a larger boat, a full tank is 85 gallons.)

Me: “That’ll be $185.65. Would you like to pay cash?”

Customer: “Are you joking? I’m not paying that much for fuel.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you asked for a full tank.”

Customer: “Fine, just take the f****** fuel out.”

Me: “Sir, once we pump it in, we can’t just take it out. In fact, we have a sign that says just that.” *points to sign*

Customer: “F*** this s***. I didn’t pay [amount] in slip fees this summer for you to overcharge me. Where is your manager?”

Me: “Wait just one moment, sir. I will call him.”

(We wait several awkward minutes for him to arrive.)

Customer: “This f*** charged me [amount] for a tank of gas, and is now saying that I have to pay it.”

Manager: “So?”

Customer: “So, I demand that you fire this ***** for overcharging me, and give me the tank for free.”

Manager: “Sir, that is how much the tank costs. If you refuse to pay it, I will have to call the police.”

Customer: “F*** no! I ain’t gonna pay it! Good luck getting the police to make me!”

(At this point, the customer started up his engine, revved it up, and drove straight into one of the nicer boats at the marina. He ended up getting arrested and had to sell his boat to pay for the damages to the other boat. Needless to say, we won’t be seeing him around anymore.)

Blow That Idea Right Out The Window

| Montréal, QC, Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(I work at one of the very few hotels that still has smoking rooms and so have to ask every guest who does not mention his or her preference up-front which type of room they want.)

Me: “Would you like a smoking or non-smoking room”

Guest: *with what looks like a genuinely confused look on his face* “Well… what’s the difference?”

Me: “Uh… you are allowed to smoke in a smoking room. If you smoke in a non-smoking room, we charge you a $250.00 fine for doing so.”

Guest: *visibly hesitant* “Really… uh… hmm!… And what is the difference in rates between the smoking and non-smoking?”

Me: *still maintaining my professionally patient tone of voice* “Smoking rooms are only $5.00 more per day, sir.”

Guest: *seemingly thinking it over much longer then he should need to* “How about if I take the non-smoking room and blow the smoke out the window? You wouldn’t charge me for that would you?”

(Wanting to bang my head on the counter, I stop short of it by simply nodding my head ‘Yes’ with a most serious look on my face.)

Guest: “Oh!… I… guess I’ll take the smoking room, then.”

Me: “WISE choice, sir!”

Doesn’t Have A Liquor Sense

| Northampton, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work in a grocery store with a liquor store attached. You can pay for groceries in the liquor store, but alcohol can only be purchased in the liquor store. A customer comes up with a bottle of liquor.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you have to pay for that in the liquor store.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “Even though the two stores are connected, the liquor license only applies to the liquor store.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Can’t you just sell it to me?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, the register won’t let it go through. And anyway, I’m only 17 so it would be illegal for me to sell you this.”

Customer: “You know, you’d think that with the technology we have we’d have figured this out by now!”

Me: “Well, it’s not really a technological issue. It’s against the law…”

Customer: “The customer is always right!”

Day One: Fine. Day Two: Attempted Kidnapping

, | Gothenburg, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m on my first internship at a hotel restaurant and have received good praise from the boss and the other workers. It’s my second day and since it’s late November, the restaurant is fully booked for various company’s Christmas parties. I’ve just turned 18 and I am legally allowed to serve alcohol to customers. My coworker instructs me what to do and warns me about how ‘free spirited’ the customers can (and will) be. They also tell me that I should report immediately if something happens. The first hour passes by fast and many of the guests are dancing in the middle of the floor. I go to pick up some of the plates from an empty table in one of the corners of the room when someone suddenly grabs my butt. I turn around and see a man around fifty-years-old.)

Me: “What are you doing?!” *I immediately respond and take his hands of my back*

Customer: “Don’t be such a heartbreaker, darling. I was just admiring your behind and couldn’t help myself.”

(He smirks jokingly. To my surprise he doesn’t seem drunk at all.)

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry to inform you but I feel very uncomfortable.”

Customer: “Well I have a suggestion that the two of us could move to a more quiet place and maybe get to know each other better.”

(Before I can respond the man proceeds to grab me and drag me out of the room. In my state of panic I catch a glance towards the kitchen door and see, on one of the female coworkers, a shocked face, and how she rushes through the door. The man just reaches the exit when the security chief, a tall and very muscular man, enters through the kitchen doors. He spots the man dragging me out and runs to us.)

Security: “And where are you going with our waiter? I suggests NOWHERE!”

(The entire room stopped and turned to us and the man became pale as a ghost, let me go, and then headed towards the exit. After the man ran away the boss came down and asked if I was all right. I was sent home early to get a good night’s sleep. The scary thing was that the man wasn’t even on the guest list. He had just entered the party without anyone’s permission!)

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