Category: Criminal & Illegal

The Tailgate Scandal

| Southampton, England, UK | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Hall of Fame, Popular

(In this particular car park, you take a ticket when you arrive — you can’t get past the barriers if you don’t — and then use the ticket afterwards to pay for how long you’ve been there. I’m waiting to pay for my parking, and a group of giggling girls, no older than 21 or so, approach the security guard.)

Girl #1: “So, like, we can’t get out; we don’t have a ticket.”

Guard: “You’ve lost your ticket? You can get a replacement—”

Girl #1: *giggles* “No, like, we never had one.”

Guard: “You… didn’t take one when you came in?”

Girl #1: *brightly* “Nope!”

Guard: “How did you get in?”

Girl #2: *clearly thinking that they were being smart* “We followed another car in!”

Guard: “So you tailgated another car in? Right, I see. You’ll have to call the control centre, and pay for a full 24 hours parking.”

Girl #1: “Uh, no. If we wanted to pay for parking, we would have just taken a ticket, right?”

Guard: “Yeah… You can either pay for a ticket, or you can go to jail. It’s your choice.”

Girl #1: “…How do we get a ticket?”

Needs A Price And Attitude Adjustment

| Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Popular

(I work in a mid-high end clothing store with a high focus on customer service. Unfortunately because of this many customers tend to abuse our policy knowing they are ‘always right.’ This happens one day when one woman continually tries to abuse us. I am currently the only one on the till as it isn’t too busy. A middle-aged woman walks up with a bag full of our clothes.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to return some items and get a price adjustment.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I start removing her clothes from her bag and notice some of them are part of our one day only flash sale where pants are half off.)

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t give you a price adjustment on these pants. It’s a flash sale today and cannot be applied to previously purchased merchandise. I can however give you a price adjustment on your sale items as they went down more and return your blazer! I’ll just need your receipt.”

Customer: *hands it over, not paying attention as she texts on her phone*

Me: *looking at receipt for most of the items* “Oh, sorry, ma’am.

we only do price adjustments within 14 days and you bought these a month ago.”

Customer: *finally paying attention* “I haven’t worn them and the tags are still attached so I have to have a price adjustment! And the pants I only bought a week ago!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only do price adjustments for 14 days and as I said earlier, your pants cannot be price adjusted as it is a flash sale. Only items today count.”

Customer: “Why’s that? I want a price adjustment! I’m within the time limit!”

Me: “It is a flash sale, one day only. Meaning you can only get the sale today if you buy something, not get a price adjustment! It is one of the only times we do not allow price adjustments. I’m sorry, but that’s the instructions sent from head office.”

Customer: “You guys have an unlimited return policy, right?”

Me: *sighs, knowing where this is going* “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “Then return all my items and I’ll re-buy them!” *smug look*

Me: “Yes, you can do that, but I know it’s a price adjustment and you only have 14 days for that AND your pants are not included!”

Customer: “Return all my items! I’m re-buying them for today’s sales!”

Me: *at this point there is nothing I can do, we have to return them* “All right.”

(I process her return, and re-purchase, which totals to her getting around $150 back. I look at the receipt to see which method she paid as it has to go back the same way.)

Me: “All right. So, you will be getting $150 back on your credit card. I’ll just need to see the card to verify it is the same one.”

(Customer shows me her card. The last four digits, all we can see on the receipts, do not match.)

Me: “Sorry, the card doesn’t match. Do you have another one?”

Customer: “My husband bought these for me on his card but we have a joint account.”

Me: “I cannot put the money back on any other card but the one from the receipt; however, I can give you a store credit.”

Customer: “But it goes to the same account!”

Me: “The numbers do not match; I have no way of knowing they are the same account. I only have the numbers.”

Customer: “Just put it on the card! I’m telling you they are the same account!”

Me: “I need the card or proof they are linked. It is credit card fraud to put the return back on another card. I’m sorry; I can give you a store credit.”

Customer: “I want it back on my card!”

Me: “We have an unlimited return policy; you can come back with the card that matched.”

Customer: “But I want it now! This is a one day sale!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s policy to only put it on the card.”

Customer: “This is never a problem anywhere! IT’S THE SAME ACCOUNT!”

Me: “I understand that but there is nothing to prove that. It is credit card fraud to put it on a different card.”

Customer: “Get your manager.”

(I go get my manager who says ‘absolutely not’ after having the same conversation with the customer as me.)

Manager: “It’s for your safety that we have that rule in place. But just this once I will do it for you.” *this happens all the time and customers know this*

Customer: “Thank you.” *huge smile, then turns to me after the manager has walked away* “See, I told you to just do it!”

(The one thing I hate about the customer first policy is how much they abuse us associates and how managers always take their side.)

The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 2

| Lincoln, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I am working at the customer service desk at a well-known box store. A customer comes in to return some movies. He looks a little shady and his voice/actions are entirely monotone, but he seems normal enough.)

Customer: “I would like to return these.” *he dumps a few movies on my counter; they are all unwrapped*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Since these are already open I can’t return them for you. If there is something wrong with them, I can exchange them for copies of the same discs.”

Customer: “No. I want to return these. You need to accept them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but copyright law prohibits me from—”

Customer: “You know, I could just sue you.”

(I think he’s joking, so I laugh.)

Customer: “I have won lawsuits against [Fast Food chain] and [Giant box store] and I will sue your a**.”

(I’m still not entirely convinced he’s serious. His voice is almost cartoonishly monotone and he’s showing no signs of anger.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s nothing I can do unless you want to exchange these.”

Customer: *picks up DVDs* “I’ll be back. I’ve won a million dollars against [Fast Food chain]. You will lose.”

Me: *calling after him* “Good luck with that!”

(I never see him again.)

The Customer Is Not Always Copyright

Has A License To Be An Idiot

| San Jose, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I work in the service department of a car dealership. We are sometimes able to provide loaner vehicles to customers if the repairs needed on their vehicle fulfill certain requirements. If a customer uses a loaner vehicle they complete a contract similar to if they rent a car which requires us to see their driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card. A customer has been told they qualify for a loaner vehicle needed after their vehicle was towed in for repairs and diagnosed. She barges in, looking grumpy.)

Customer: “I’m [Customer]; I’m here to pick up a loaner car.”

Receptionist: “No problem! We were expecting you so your advisor has already pulled up the vehicle; we’ll be able to get you on the road soon.”

Customer: *impatiently* “GOOD! I’m in a hurry. It is SO inconvenient that I had to come ALL the way here to pick up a car. I have things to do, you know!”

Receptionist: “We definitely understand; it’s tough when your car breaks down. We’re glad we can get you this loaner so at least you can get around again while your car is being fixed. I just need to see your driver’s license, proof of insurance, and a credit card so we can do your paperwork.”

Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean you need to see that stuff?”

Receptionist: “…Are your documents in your car? We can have one of our porters get whatever is needed out of your vehicle.”

Customer: “NO! I didn’t bring any of those things because NOBODY TOLD ME I would need them! SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! THIS IS TOTALLY UNPROFESSIONAL!”

(One of my coworkers finishes with his customer and is tired of hearing her berate our receptionist, who has done nothing wrong. He approaches the desk.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I couldn’t help but overhearing. It sounds like you were here to pick up our loaner vehicle but you don’t have your driver’s license or insurance information?”


Coworker: “Was someone else going to drive the loaner car?”


Coworker: “Ma’am… I’m pretty sure the State of California told you to bring your license and insurance with you EVERY time you plan to drive a car.”

She’s Lying/Not Lying

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Our store works with another company that offers a card to students that gets them discounts at many places. It is the card company’s policy that if a person looks like they could be 16 or older, they MUST produce student ID. If they don’t, under no circumstance are we allowed to give them the discount. A customer comes up who looks like she’s 16-18 years old.)

Me: “Your total is $15.75.”

Girl: “Oh, I have the [Student Card].”

Me: “Of course. If you could just quickly show me your student ID?”

Girl: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, I can’t give you the discount.”

Girl: “You’re joking! I’m from another province! I didn’t bring my student ID with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the discount. It’s [Card Company]’s policy that anyone who looks like they could be 16 or older must produce student ID.”

Girl: “That’s ridiculous! I’m, like, 12/13.”

(I look over the girl, and she looks way too old to be 13. I’m about to say something when her words suddenly hit me.)

Me: “Wait, you said you’re 12/13?”

Girl: “Yes! I’m 12/13!”

Me: “…So, you don’t know how old you are?”

Girl: “…What was the total again?”

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