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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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Take Ownership Of Your Crime

| MD, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I am a police officer, and have a woman pulled over on the side of the road for speeding, going almost 55 in a 30 school zone.)

Me: “You were speeding in a school zone so you will be getting a ticket; I need you to sign here, please.”

Woman: “Seriously? You can’t cut me a break?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can’t. I just need you to sign here…”

Woman: *growing more irate* “This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to pay this ticket! This isn’t even my car!”

Me: “So, if you got in an accident driving at such an excess speed, you’re not responsible because this isn’t your car even though you’re in control of the car.”

Woman: “Well…”

Me: “We’re right across the street from an elementary school. If you hit one of these kids walking down the street you couldn’t be charged with vehicular manslaughter because this isn’t your car?”

Woman: “…”

Me: “Sign here, please.”

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A Chip Off The Old Stock

| TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(It’s a busy day, there’s a long line of customers getting gas. I get to the last one.)

Customer: “Did that guy buy some chips?”

Me: “Uh, nobody bought chips. They have to bring them to the window so I can scan them.”

Customer: “Oh, then he stole them.”

Me: *trying to conceal irritation at both the thief and the fact that I didn’t see him* “I hope he enjoys them…”

Customer: “I hope he chokes on them!”

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Should Steal A Nugget Of Parental Advice

| TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Popular

(The EAS alarm goes off as a young girl of around 12-13 and her mother are leaving. They both have purses and the mother also has a store bag.)

Me: “I can deactivate that bag and receipt for you.”

Mother: “Sure, thank you.”

(I run it over our sensor, and as they leave, the alarm goes off again. I call them back into the store.)

Me: “Do you have any new clothes or purses on? Sometimes there can be a sensor in the seam they forget to deactivate.”

Mother: “No. It might be my daughter’s keys.”

Me: *not even gonna ask* “Okay.” *to the kid* “If you can open up your purse, I can deactivate it for you.”

(The kid goes back through the sensors with haste and the alarm goes off again. The mother makes her open her purse, and there are some unpaid-for stuffed dolls inside. I take them back as the mother apologizes profusely.)

Me: “No harm done. It happens a lot.”

Mother: *as she’s leaving with her daughter* “You can’t steal! That’s not okay! That was not expensive enough to try to get away with it!”

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A Serious Error In Judgment

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I work in a call center for a large trucking company. It’s mainly customer service, but we also make collection calls when a client’s invoice has gone past due.)

Me: “Good day, ma’am. This is [My Name] from [Company]. We are looking for payment on an invoice that has gone past due.”

Client: “Yes, we’re aware. We are refusing payment. You didn’t deliver the materials on time.”

Me: “I’m so sorry that happened! Do you mind holding a moment so I can look into this a bit further and credit your account?”

Client: “No problem.”

(I put the client on hold and review the shipping papers. The client did ask for a specific delivery day of Tuesday on the paperwork… However, that’s exactly when we delivered, at 10:00 am, a full two hours before the guaranteed time of noon.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But it shows here that you requested a delivery date of Tuesday by noon and we actually delivered at 10:00 am.”

Client: “Yes, I know, but you were still a day late.”

Me: “No, ma’am. It delivered Tuesday as requested on the shipping papers.”

Client: “Yes, but it supposed to be there Monday.”

Me: “But that’s not what the shipping paper says.”

Client: “I already said I know that. But it was supposed to be there Monday. Now my customer will not pay us because of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but how are we to know that the goods had to be there Monday if you put Tuesday on the paperwork?”

Client: “Well, because I didn’t want to pay for the two-day service. I expected your driver to get it there ahead of schedule.”

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You asked us to deliver Tuesday, but you are withholding payment because you really wanted it there Monday? And now you’re trying to hold us responsible for delivering late after you just admitted you were trying to avoid paying extra costs for expedited service?”

Client: “Um… well… you still should have gotten it there Monday. Isn’t it your job to exceed the customer’s expectations?”

Me: “Actually, we did just that… by delivering a full two hours before the time documented on the papers.”

Client: “Well, I can’t pay you. I won’t be paid, so I can’t pay you.”

Me: “So, essentially, you want my company to pay for your error?”

Client: “Yes. I think it’s only fair.”

Me: “Ma’am, if this invoice is not paid in full by the end of today, based on the information you’ve admitted to me here, I will have no choice but to file a theft-of-service report with my headquarters and cut off service to your location. At that time, the company attorney will be in contact with your owner to discuss litigation. Further, we will also send notification to the credit bureaus that will ding your company’s credit score which will make it difficult to obtain credit with another freight carrier. Do you have any other questions before I termination this call?”

Client: “I… um… that’s not… um… necessary. Do you take company credit cards?”

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Try Scamming A Mile In His Shoes

| WI, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular, Technology

(A customer calls about a TV he’d ordered online that he wants to return, stating the reason is it is ‘damaged.’ Our driver goes to retrieve the item. He has an inspection form to complete so he is getting ready to open the box to inspect the TV.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Driver: *shows inspection form* “I’m required to fill this out before I take the TV. This will only take a minute.”

(The driver proceeds to open the TV box fully expecting a 55″ TV only to find the box is full of gym shoes.)

Driver: “What the h*** is this?”

Customer: “What?! [Company] must have sent it to me like that!”

(Not only did we not pick up his ‘TV’ but this customer is now officially black-listed from ever ordering anything from that company again.)

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