Category: Criminal/Illegal

Your Tiredness Kept The Safe Safe

| Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

(I manage a pizza store, and go in at 10:30 pm to help close up. I am in my casual clothes and I’m completely exhausted. I go outside the store to use the bathroom when I am stopped by someone.)

Stranger: “Gimme the safe keys.”

Me: *groggy* “Safe keys?”

Stranger: “The f****** store safe keys!”

Me: “…safe keys?”

(The safe keys are in the store, but I am so tired I barely know my own name. Before the stranger can respond a coworker comes outside, and the stranger bolts.)

Coworker: “Who was that?”

Me: “That guy wanted safe keys… Wait, did that guy just kinda try to rob the store?”

(If the coworker hadn’t shown up, the stranger could have easily harmed me in my state. This is one of many reasons that you shouldn’t overwork your store managers!)

Can’t Barrel Out Of There

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work as a manager and beer department head at a local liquor store that sells kegs of beer.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I need to order a keg of Corona.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but Corona, unfortunately, doesn’t make kegs.”

Customer: “What’re you talking about? I ordered one last week!”

Me: *trying not to get agitated* “Sir, I’m sorry, but like I said, Corona doesn’t make kegs. It’s impossible for me to get you a keg of Corona.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! The beer guy here got one for me last week!”

Me: “Actually, I run the beer department at this store, and I have for the last few months. I can give you a list of all the kegs we can get you.”

Customer: “QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! I want to see your manager, and I want to see him now!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

(I turn around on the spot, making a 360 turn.)

Me: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?”

Customer: *glares at me before walking out in a rage*

Just Got Served By A Teenager

| Bristol, England, UK | April Fool's Day, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Underaged

(I’m working while taking an extra year at sixth form to finish one course. Due to my lack of classes I often end up working during typical school hours. My early birthday means I’m already 19 but I’m aware I look younger. A customer decides to make conversation with me.)

Customer: “So, why aren’t you at school?”

Me: “I don’t have any lessons today; I only take the one subject.”

Customer: *laughing like he’s caught me out* “So you ARE still at school! You can’t serve me; you’re under 18! Get me your manager!”

Me: “How about I do you one better, sir?”

(I happen to have my wallet on me so I hand him my ID and he looks it over. He throws it back to me, takes his drink, and sits at a table. My manager walks by and he gets his attention, explaining what had happened. My manager is very relaxed and simply shrugs at the man.)

Manager: “Sir, the challenge 21 policy doesn’t go both ways. She did nothing wrong. However I’m going to ask her, and if she felt you were offensive towards her I may just ban you from the premises.”

(The man wasn’t banned, though the threat of it did make him treat everyone a lot nicer.)

Will Need To Waive The Wave Excuse

| Spokane, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Rude & Risque

(I am a security officer at a medical insurance facility. The street we are located on isn’t exactly reputable, and we get a lot of trouble from ‘ladies of the evening’ attempting to solicit our clients or even our associates. While on patrol, I notice one of our repeat offenders very blatantly trying to flag down traffic.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here as a client, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Lady: “No, it’s fine; I’m not even doing anything.” *continues to wave*

Me: “Ma’am, this is a private campus. You can’t—”

Lady: “No, really, it’s fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police on you for trespassing—”

Lady: *now getting rather heated* “I’m not doing anything wrong!”

Me: “Then what are you doing here, trying to wave down traffic?”

Lady: *without hesitation* “I’m not waving down traffic. I’m waving at the wind!”

(There is a long pause as the woman apparently processed how stupid this sounded. She then smiled, and quickly walked away. To this day I’m still not sure this was spur of the moment, or worse, a rehearsed excuse.)

Sandwiched Between The Truth And The Law

| Kirksville, MO, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(A customer who is also a police officer comes through the drive thru with an empty sandwich box and his receipt. We ran out of the double quarter boxes so we’ve been using regular quarter ones and placing a sticker on top to tell them apart. This customer has one of the regular boxes with a sticker. He states he was given the wrong sandwich and demands another one even though the receipt is for double quarter and the box is correct. I ask my manager.)

Manager: “No. If the receipt and the box are both correct and they’ve already eaten the sandwich, I’m not going to just give him free food.”

(I return to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but both the box and the receipt are for a double quarter pounder and multiple coworkers say they checked it, and it was correct before you ate it.”

Police Officer: “Are you saying I’m a liar?”

Me: “I’m not saying you’re a liar—”

Police Officer: “Me? An officer of the law? You’re saying I’m lying just to get free food! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Sir, I didn’t say you’re a liar. I’m saying we can’t prove it was the wrong sandwich because the box is correct and you’ve already eaten the food.”

Police Officer: “But you charged me for a double sandwich and gave me a single.”

Me: “Except the box—”

Police Officer: “I’m an officer of the law. Do you think I would just lie?! YOU CHARGED ME FOR THE WRONG SANDWICH.” *starts getting very confrontational*

Me: “Which you ate. The box is for what you paid for. My coworkers double check the orders and make sure they’re correct. I’m not saying you’re a liar, but everything on our end says it is the right sandwich, and my manager has already said no.

Police Officer: “What?! Are you kidding me? I want to speak to them immediately.”

(I give up and go get my manager. She tries to reason with him for a good minute before I hear him yell something I can’t understand and he speeds off.)

Manager: “He tried to pull Ferguson on me, saying we would have given him his food if it wasn’t for that shooting. I told him I didn’t know what I could do for him, but it wasn’t going to be a sandwich!”