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Category: Criminal & Illegal

She’s Lying/Not Lying

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Our store works with another company that offers a card to students that gets them discounts at many places. It is the card company’s policy that if a person looks like they could be 16 or older, they MUST produce student ID. If they don’t, under no circumstance are we allowed to give them the discount. A customer comes up who looks like she’s 16-18 years old.)

Me: “Your total is $15.75.”

Girl: “Oh, I have the [Student Card].”

Me: “Of course. If you could just quickly show me your student ID?”

Girl: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, I can’t give you the discount.”

Girl: “You’re joking! I’m from another province! I didn’t bring my student ID with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the discount. It’s [Card Company]’s policy that anyone who looks like they could be 16 or older must produce student ID.”

Girl: “That’s ridiculous! I’m, like, 12/13.”

(I look over the girl, and she looks way too old to be 13. I’m about to say something when her words suddenly hit me.)

Me: “Wait, you said you’re 12/13?”

Girl: “Yes! I’m 12/13!”

Me: “…So, you don’t know how old you are?”

Girl: “…What was the total again?”

Wanted Proof But Got Overproof

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Transportation

(I work at a chain shipping store. One of my coworkers is helping an older woman who wants to ship a package to a friend. She has a box that is inside a plastic bag.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there anything breakable in your package?”

Older Woman: “Yes. It probably needs to be bubble wrapped but you can just bubble wrap the box.”

Coworker: “Okay, that’s not a problem! Can I just take the box out of the bag to make sure the item isn’t moving around inside the box?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker takes the box out of the bag and notices that the box says that it contains a bottle of Crown Royal. In our state you cannot ship hard liquor without a number of serious licenses.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s inside this box?”

Older Woman: “Shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, are you sure?”

Older Woman: “Yes, it’s just shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, do you mind if I check to make sure its just shampoo?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker opens the box and pulls out a full bottle of Crown Royal.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, this is a bottle of Crown Royal. You can’t ship this. It’s against the law.”

Older Woman: “No. It’s shampoo!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, this ‘shampoo’ is 80 proof.”

(The older woman grabs the Crown Royal from my coworker and quickly exits the store.)

Coworker: *to me* “I want that kind of shampoo!”

Not Yelping His Cause

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(In self-storage, a tenant is required to give notice BEFORE their due date. Every summer we get the students who store dorm stuff while they go back home.)

Tenant: “Hi, I’m closing out my storage today.”

Me: “Oh, let me pull you up… Did you schedule your move out?”

Tenant: “Uh… no.”

Me: “I’m afraid you’re eight days past your due date, and your automatic payment went through on your due date.”

(We specifically tell new tenants that they have to give notice, and if the payment is made there are absolutely no refunds… It’s printed in block letters on the lease they sign!)

Tenant: *now very upset* “Well, if you don’t refund my money RIGHT NOW, I’ll go on Yelp and give you a one-star review!”

Me: “Huh, see that bank of video feeds above me?” *points at our security system* “Well, they also record sound. What you just threatened is actually called EXTORTION. Would you like to call the police, or shall I do it for you?”

Tenant: “Uh… uh… I was just kidding, man…” *laughs nervously* “Everything’s okay; I’ll be leaving now!”

(Our camera system doesn’t record audio, and we got a five-star review from the kid!)

Shot Down His Chances

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(A younger guy picks out a shotgun to buy so we proceed to paperwork.)

Me: *looking at his ID* “Is this your current address?”

Customer: “Not anymore! Just moved back from [University] into my old place [Next Town Over].”

Me: “Okay, do you have anything with your new address? Car registration, hunting/fishing license, etc.?”

Customer: “Not at the moment. I just moved.”

Me: “Well, we can’t sell the gun to you unless you have a valid address.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s my current address, then.”

Me: “That doesn’t work.”

(I deny the sale; he gets angry and leaves. Later I see him filling out paperwork.)

Me: “Did you get a new ID?”

Customer: *happily* “Nope! Just told [Coworker] it’s my current address!”

Me: “Okay…” *goes to the gun vault, finds coworker* “Hey, you getting that shotgun for that guy at the counter?”

Coworker: “Yeah, why?”

Me: “Can’t do it; he doesn’t have a valid license.”

(We deny him the sale again.)

Customer: *yelling* “THIS IS BULL-S***! I’M GONNA GO TO [Sporting Store down the road] AND BUY IT FROM THEM! AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS F****** AMERICA!”

Me: “Good luck with that.”

(I call up the place down the road and inform them of the customer. No surprise, he comes back, red in the face.)

Customer: “WHO RUNS THIS F****** PLACE?!”

Manager: “What’s the matter, sir?”

(The customer tells his story, but my manager stops him short.)

Manager: “You tried to knowingly break the law while also trying to convince my employees to break the law as well? I’m going to have to ask you to leave right now.”

Customer: “BUT TH—”

Manager: “And if you don’t leave or you try to pull this s*** again in the near future, I will not hesitate to call the police.”

(We never saw the customer again.)

Dealing With Her Was A Walk In The Parking

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Transportation

(I am the boss of a plumbing business and deal with a lot of idiots who try and park in my area and going to different stores. There are signs up everywhere that say that this area is only for customers. A woman parks her car in my area and walks across to another store. It is about an hour away from closing.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss, but you can not park here. This area is only reserved for the customers of this business.”

Woman: *angrily* “Well, I was just going to go next door so I don’t see why I have to move. Besides, I don’t see anything that says I can’t!” *walks away*

Me: *catching up indicating to all the signs* “Miss, look there are signs everywhere that say if you are not a customer, you are not allowed to park here. There are plenty of parking spaces at the shop you are going to. Move your car or I will call the towing company.”

Woman: *snottily* “You wouldn’t do that; otherwise I will sue you!” *walks away*

(I decide to just leave it and begin to pack up to leave. I wait for an hour and she still hasn’t come out. Getting impatient, I call the police asking them what to do.)

Me: “Hello, I am calling because there is this woman who has parked her car in my businesses parking area although there are signs clearly indicating the area is only for customers. We closed an hour ago and she still hasn’t come. What should I do?”

Officer: “Well, if she hasn’t come and it is after closing, then just leave her car in there and she can wait until tomorrow to pick it up. Also if you give me her registration we can give a fine for breaking the law.”

Me: “Okay, the registration number is [number]. Okay thanks.”

(I then proceed to close up the store completely, closing the gate and locking it, and also leaving a message to the lady:)

My Letter: “Hello, as you have been so rude and have ignored my warnings of not moving your car, I have locked it up and you can wait until tomorrow morning. Also be ready to receive a fine in the mail. Regards: The owner.”

(The next morning the lady had climbed the fence and was trying to ram down the gate with her car. Not only did her car get damaged, she got arrested and received a fine for breaking property.)

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