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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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A Shocking Request

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(I work at a call center for a cell phone company. A customer has called in to see what her options are as her son’s phone was stolen by someone at his school. She is also at the police station while the call is going on. A supervisor happens to be listening to my call as well. By this point , I’ve explained her options and am working on putting a hold on the line so no calls, texts, or data can be used.)

Caller: “Can you tell me who has his phone? I want to make sure they are punished.”

Me: “I’m afraid we have no way of tracking the phone. At best we could see what tower it was connected to last but that covers a broad area. I see it’s an iPhone; I could give you the information for the “Find my iPhone App” which should help in the future. You already in contact with your local police, which is also good.”

Caller: “Just get into the camera!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “You know, just get into the camera on his phone and take pictures of the boys who stole his phone and send them to me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid there is no way to do that.”

Caller: “Okay, fine. Just shock them, then.”

(At this point I look over at my supervisor, who looks just as confused as I do.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “You don’t have to shock them hard; just make the phone shock them a little.”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way for me to shock someone.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you make the phone squirt blue paint on them so we can find them?”

(I’m trying to keep it together, which isn’t helped by the fact my supervisor is laughing quietly next to me. I regain my composure.)

Me: “I’m sorry but that technology doesn’t currently exist. I have given you all the options we have available at the present time. Your son’s line has a hold put on it so it can’t be used in anyway which would impact your bill. Please let us know if you recover his phone.”

(Somehow I managed to end the call before I burst out laughing. My supervisor didn’t even care I took myself out of the queue for a few minutes. Neither of us could quite believe the customer was dead serious the entire time.)

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These Items Are Literally A Steal

| KY, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(The pawn laws in my county require that any item sold to our store must be held for ten days before it can be sold, to make sure it isn’t stolen. To cover ourselves, we hold everything for two weeks. Even though we abide by pawn laws, we work on a more consignment-style basis, meaning that once you sell your items, you cannot get them back.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Man: *already annoyed, but understandably so* “Yes, I recently had items stolen from me. I have filed a police report, I know who stole them, and I know that they were sold to you. Can I get my items back?”

Me: “I’m really sorry that happened to you. But yes, you’ve done everything that we needed you to do, so we can totally get those things back to you. You will have to come in with the officer who’s been working on your case, but it’ll be no problem.”

Man: *sighs* “Well, can you at least gather my things together so that they’ll be ready when I get there?”

Me: “Of course. Just let me know the name of the person who sold them, and when they were sold to us, and I’ll set them aside with your name on them.”

Man: “His name was [Name] and he sold them at the beginning of June. Around the third.”

Me: “Ohh… well, it’s the end of July. We hold everything for two weeks before we put it out on the floor to sell. I’m happy to go and find anything that is left, but there’s a possibility that your things have already been sold, since they’ve been here for almost two months.”

Man: “Well, how do I go about getting those things back?”

Me: “I mean, you can’t. They’ve been sold to people.”

(He then proceeded to yell at me, telling me the policies of my store, which I tried to explain to him, but he just told me again what kind of store I work in and then tells me to “f*** off,” at which point I hung up. Maybe you should have less sketchy friends?)

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Out Of Favor With The Law

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in a pawn shop where people can put items as collateral against loans, and when they do they can pay them off whenever they want but they can’t get their stuff back until a legally required seven day hold has finished, even if they’ve loaned the exact same item multiple times.)

Customer: “Hey, can you do me favour?”

Me: “Maybe?”

Customer: “My loan’s been in for six days. Can I get it out? I know it’s early but I’ve had it in before.”

Me: “It’s the law, man; we have to hold it for seven days every time.”

Customer: “I’m not talking about the law, man. I just need a favour.”

Me: “Your favour… requires me to break the law.”

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A Tow-tal Breakdown

| Lexington, KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I work at a roadside assistance call center. I take calls for customers who need a tow, tire change, unlocking, etc…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; are you in a safe location?”

Caller: “Hello? I need you to tow my car.”

Me: “All right, where is the car located?”

Caller: “I don’t know. That’s why I need you to get it.”

Me: *thinking she broke down and didn’t know where she was* “Okay, what city are you in?”

Caller: “Me? I’m in Cincinnati. That’s where you can bring it when you get it.”

Me: “Oh, is someone else with the car?”

Caller: “Yeah, my boyfriend.”

Me: “Okay… Do you want to have him call me with an address of the car’s location?”

Caller: “He’s not answering his phone.”

Me: “Well, we need to know where the car is in order to tow it somewhere.”

Caller: “Are you listening to me? I don’t know where it is! My boyfriend got mad and took off with it! That’s why I need you to bring it back!”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t tow a vehicle unless we know where it is.”

Caller: “Why the heck not?”

Me: “Where would we send the tow truck? If you don’t know where the car is, how do you expect us to find it?”

Caller: “Well, what else am I supposed to do? He took my car without my permission!”

Me: “Perhaps you should call the police.”

Caller: “You know what? That’s a great idea!” *click*

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Going Off On Flights Of Fancy

| Reykjavik, Iceland | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a sales desk at a bus company and we have to answer the phones as well. We provide an airport shuttle so we follow the landing times at the airport when picking up passengers. One night a woman phones in:)

Me: “[Bus Company]; good evening.”

Customer: “Hi. My friend is flying in from [Country]. When will she be home?”

Me: “Well, according to our information there are two flights coming in today from [Country]. Do you know which airline she is flying with?”

Customer: “No, can’t you look it up for me?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This is a bus company. I have no access to another company’s system, and I am pretty sure that would violate some privacy laws. If you can tell me when you were expecting her, during the day, morning, afternoon, or evening, I could help you make an educated guess, but I still cannot answer for the flight company as I only work for a bus company.”

Customer: “I used to work for your company many years ago and we did this all the time! She is my friend and neighbour! Just look it up for me!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. I really cannot. This company does not have access to passenger lists of other companies nor is it legal even if I had the information.”

(The customer continues with a four-minute rant about poor customer service and this would not have been a problem when she had worked there. I politely suggest that maybe she should take a nice evening stroll over to her friends place and see if she’s home.)

Customer: “Why didn’t I think of that!? Still poor customer service; I still have to get out of my house to be sure!” *slams down phone*

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