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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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Thief Should Have Wised Up And Smelled The Coffee

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I customer walks in, and we both exchange our hellos. A few minutes later I see the guy quickly look at me from my peripheral vision. Thinking it is kind of odd, I slowly tip-toe towards him and see him walk the opposite way around my counter, holding something below the counter’s height so I can’t see it. I start to walk backwards as he is quickly making his way to the doors, and then the alarm goes on. This guy is holding a big a** Tassimo coffee maker. Here’s how you know he isn’t a good thief, because he stops to have a conversation with me.)

Thief: “Hey, so where’s the uh… the um… the coffee or whatever that goes with this.”

Me: “Put the Tassimo on my counter and I’ll show you.”

(He reluctantly puts it down, and I bring him to the coffee that is right above the Tassimo maker he is trying to take.)

Thief: “Oh, right, that’s cool.”

(He grabs a handful of random ones and we walk over to my counter. He puts the coffee on the Tassimo machine box. He is patting his coat pockets pretending to feel around for his wallet.)

Thief: “Hmm, well, I forgot my wallet. I’ll be right back.”

Me: *I smile* “No you won’t,”

Thief: *looks at me, saddened* “You’re right.”

(He did end up coming back a few weeks later trying to steal a lamp but luckily I was working and he ended up with nothing.)

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No ID, No Idea, Part 24

| Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Underaged

(It’s the law that you need to have your ID to be in the liquor store, except for children with parents. A group of young gentlemen come in. Several choose items and carry them to the front. Once everything is on the counter, one of the men steps forward to pay.)

Me: “Hi, guys! I need to see everyone’s ID, please!”

Customer #1: “Why? How old do you think I look?”

Me: “Well, you look like you’re under 25, so I’ll need to see that ID, please. Same goes for everyone else.”

Customer #1: “But I’m the only one buying something. This is all for me.”

Me: “That’s great, but I can’t know for sure that they’re not going to have some since you all carried it to the front. It’s the law that I need to ID everyone. Plus I still haven’t seen your ID.”

(At this point there’s a line of several people forming.)

Customer #1: “Yeah, but I’m the only one buying it.”

Me: “Last chance. I need to see everyone’s ID, please.”

Customer #1: “How old do you think I am? Really.”

Me: “Not old enough to buy liquor. Since you won’t show me your ID, you’re now loitering on the premises. You need to leave the store now.”

Customer #1: “Wait! I’ll show you my ID.”

Customer #2: “I have mine as well!”

Me: “You’ve wasted enough of my time. There are seven people behind you waiting to pay, many of whom have their IDs out and ready. Your other buddies still don’t have their IDs out. I’ve explained to you that I’m required by law to see them, and given you multiple chances to show me. I’ve had enough. Get out.”

Customer #1: “You’re going to lose valuable customers! They’ll fire you!”

Me: “They’re not going to fire me. I’m complying with the law and thereby with store policy. My manager just went outside to write down your license plate number and will be calling the police once she has it. She’s got my back. You need to leave now. Go find another liquor store, and don’t pull this crap with them if you want your beer.”

(A couple of the guys checked outside and saw the manager walking towards their vehicle. They booked it out, and I haven’t seen them since.)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 23
No ID, No Idea, Part 22
No ID, No Idea, Part 21

The Tailgate Scandal

| Southampton, England, UK | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular

(In this particular car park, you take a ticket when you arrive — you can’t get past the barriers if you don’t — and then use the ticket afterwards to pay for how long you’ve been there. I’m waiting to pay for my parking, and a group of giggling girls, no older than 21 or so, approach the security guard.)

Girl #1: “So, like, we can’t get out; we don’t have a ticket.”

Guard: “You’ve lost your ticket? You can get a replacement—”

Girl #1: *giggles* “No, like, we never had one.”

Guard: “You… didn’t take one when you came in?”

Girl #1: *brightly* “Nope!”

Guard: “How did you get in?”

Girl #2: *clearly thinking that they were being smart* “We followed another car in!”

Guard: “So you tailgated another car in? Right, I see. You’ll have to call the control centre, and pay for a full 24 hours parking.”

Girl #1: “Uh, no. If we wanted to pay for parking, we would have just taken a ticket, right?”

Guard: “Yeah… You can either pay for a ticket, or you can go to jail. It’s your choice.”

Girl #1: “…How do we get a ticket?”