icon_criminals

Category: Criminal & Illegal

icon_underaged

Common Sense Playing Truant: The Revenge

| OH, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Underaged

(I’m the worker in this story, where I was accused of being a teenager and illegally working in a bar during the school day It’s been a few years since that happened, I’ve now graduated college, gotten a job out of state, and am in a bar catching up with high school friends. A seemingly random woman storms up to our table.)

Crazy Woman: “YOU! You got me banned from my favorite store over your lies. And I see you’re still up to your dirty tricks, using a fake ID to drink.”

(I just stare at her in confusion for a minute before it all comes back to me that this was the SAME WOMAN who accused me four years ago. Consequences of being from a small town with exactly two bars, I guess.)

Me: “This can’t even be happening. Ma’am, I’m still about six years older than you think I am, and I was of legal drinking age the last time you ranted at me. Do these people with me appear to be old enough to drink?”

Crazy Woman: “Well, of course they do. I even know her mother!” *pointing to one of my friends* “I bet you think you’re really cool hanging out with people so much older than you and using a fake ID to drink with them when you’re barely out of high school.”

Me: “I graduated from high school with these ladies. Seven years ago. I was 18 when that happened. Can you do the math on how old that makes me?”

(My friends snicker, but confirm that we graduated high school together.)

Crazy Woman: “We’ll just see about that!”

(She goes and tells the bartender that she knows my parents or something to that effect, and knows that I am underage. Having provided an out-of-state license when we bought our drinks, the bartender comes up to our table with a bouncer in tow, slightly alarmed that she may have served a minor.)

Bartender: “I know you showed me your ID, but I now have reason to believe it’s fake. I have to call the police. Please give me your ID.”

Me: “Look, that crazy woman went off on me a few years back when she thought I was much younger than I am. Can I try to clear this up?”

Bartender: “I don’t know how you could clear this up without the police running your ID to confirm it’s valid.”

Me: “I do.” *digs through my purse* “Here, does this help?”

Bartender: “Yes. Yes, it does.” *turns to the bouncer* “Tell that woman that she has to leave her alone or leave.”

(The crazy woman refused to comply with their request to leave me alone, and was kicked out. Me: 2, Crazy: 0. How did I do it? One of the reasons I was visiting was that I had to get an official birth certificate to apply for a passport, had done that several weeks before, and had submitted my passport application at the local Post Office after getting the birth certificate, out of convenience. I had my shiny, new passport and official, sealed birth certificate in my purse, having just received them both back. My friend told her mom about the incident, and her response was, apparently, “that woman has always been insane.”)

Related:
Common Sense Playing Truant

icon_time

Beginning To Understand Why You Have A Criminal Record

| WI, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Time

(This conversation happens on the telephone at my office.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Name] Law Offices. Can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I have a case and need an attorney. I’ve been victimized by the courts. I agreed to a misdemeanor charge, but on my records, it’s recorded as a felony! This is outrageous!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, the attorney is out right now, but I can make you a consultation appointment. Can I have your name and phone number?”

Client: “Oh… I don’t know. I’m very busy. Maybe if I can call you and see if he is in?”

Me: “Ma’am, the attorney tends to be out quite a bit. It would be best if we could make an appointment.”

Client: “But I’m a victim of an injustice! We can’t let anyone get away with it! How do I know the attorney is worth it?”

Me: “Ma’am, the attorney that specializes in criminal defense is very good. We have people calling from all over our state, and from neighboring states as well. Please, can I have a name and a phone number? We can at least call you back!”

Client: “I don’t know… I’m going to be driving, so I won’t be able to answer my phone. I’ll just call later.”

Me: “Ma’am, can I at least have a name so the attorney can know to anticipate your call?”

Client: “Well… I don’t think so; I don’t want him trying to call me when I’m not available!”

Me: *tearing my hair out* “Ma’am, really, any information would be helpful.”

Client: “No… I’ll just call later… You have a good day.” *click*

Me: *to myself* “Well that was just the biggest waste of time EVER.”

(The kicker? I spent half an hour with this woman, which is worth a great deal of money in billable hours, and I ended up horribly behind on my work. And she NEVER called back!)

icon_criminals

Their Ballooning Criminal Ambitions

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal

(My brother opened a tasting room just off a main street in our town. Since he’s the owner, occasionally my parents and I will help out and are doing so when this happens. Note that we have an A frame sign on the sidewalk with a balloon to catch customer’s eyes.)

Mom: “Is he really doing that?”

Me: *I come out of the office* “Doing what?”

Mom: “Someone stole our balloon.”

Me: “Really?”

Mom: “Yeah, he was stealing it for his girlfriend. I saw them running away, and she was holding it.”

Dad: “Let them go. It’s better to have them keep the stupid balloon rather than come back the next day with a brick through your window.”

(We would have given them the balloon if they just asked, but who would be so desperate to steal a balloon?)

icon_criminals

It’s The Prescribed Law

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(One of my coworkers is relatively new and often sounds unsure when repeating information or instructions. Clients tend to try to take advantage of that, and my coworker isn’t confident enough to know when to put her foot down.)

Coworker: “Can you help me with this call? [Client] wants a prescription refill for [Patient]. I checked with [Doctor] and she said we need to do an exam since we haven’t seen [Patient] in so long, but [Client] isn’t liking that answer.”

Me: “Yeah, sure.” *picking up phone, to [Client]:* “Hi there, this is [My Name]. [Coworker] said you had some questions about a prescription refill for [Patient]?”

Client: “Yes! I need a refill of [medication] for [Patient], but the other girl said that [Patient] needs to be seen first! She HAS been seen!”

Me: “According to our records, we haven’t seen [Patient] in almost 18 months.”

Client: “No, no! I took her to a vet in [State]! She HAS been seen!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, pharmacy law states that in order to write a prescription we have to have physically seen a patient within the last 12 months.”

Client: “That’s ridiculous. I can’t believe that!”

Me: “I apologize, but the law is the law.”

Client: “Well, what am I supposed to do, then?!”

Me: “I can either set up an appointment to get [Patient] seen–”

Client: “But she HAS been seen!”

Me: “—or you can contact the vet in [State] that saw [Patient] to see if they will send over a prescription.”

Client: “Can’t you call them and get the visit history?”

Me: “I could, but that doesn’t change that we need to physically see [Patient], here, in the office, for an examination, before one of our doctors would even consider writing a prescription.”

Client: “I just don’t understand why you won’t write a prescription!”

Me: “Because it is illegal. You are asking us to break the law.”

Client: “Well, you’re useless, aren’t you!?” *hangs up*

icon_criminals

Irresponsibly Entitled

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I am the cashier serving a woman with a very full grocery cart. Her son, who looks to be around four, is hanging from the handle, swinging like he’s trying to be a monkey and making the cart tip back slightly.)

Me: “Honey, it’s not really a good idea to do that. The cart could tip over and fall on you.”

Woman: “Don’t tell my son what he can or can’t do! That’s not your job!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’m merely trying to prevent him from hurting himself.”

(At this point the cart’s front wheels are lifting off the ground every time the boy swings. His mother just shrugs.)

Woman: “If he does then I’ll just sue you for having unsafe carts and take you for everything you’re worth!”

Me: “Actually, no, you can’t. I’ve officially given both you and your son fair warning that what he’s doing is dangerous and could lead to injury, therefore I’ve fulfilled the legal requirements for health and safety. Whatever happens from here on is squarely your fault and your fault alone.”

Woman: “But…”

Me: “And if you’re going to try and lie about it to my manager or a lawyer, please direct your attention to the cameras overhead. They record both picture and sound so that’s additional confirmation I did everything I could to keep you and your son safe and thus you are entirely at fault for not stopping him.”

(The cart suddenly tips backwards, and the boy loses his grip on the handle. Miraculously it doesn’t tip over though; it just crashes back onto its wheels. He gets up and tries to swing from it again.)

Me: “By all means, ma’am, if it’ll make your day to sue us then go ahead. Just note you’ll have no case whereas I will have plenty of cause for calling social services on you.”

(The woman turns white and smacks her son’s hands.)

Woman: “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THE CART AGAIN!”

Me: “Thank you for understanding, ma’am.”

(I finished ringing her up and she hurried out of the store with her son in tow. Sometimes you really do have to spell it out for people why they can’t just laden all their responsibility on others.)

Page 1/9612345...Last