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Category: Criminal & Illegal

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Like Stealing Candy From A Baby

| Renfrewshire, Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(While shopping, I notice two typically cute toddlers eagerly running down the sweets aisle, ahead of their parents.)

Toddler: *loudly and cheerfully* “I’m going to steal something!”

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A Well-Red Book

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, yes, I had a book on hold there. I came to pick it up this morning and it was taking too long for the guy to help other people so I left!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about the wait; we only have one person in the store this week due to our owners getting married last weekend.”

Caller: “I’m not done! So I came back and parked in the red zone at the corner, picked up my book and when I got back, I had a $115 ticket!”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, but I don’t know what I can do for you about that.”

Caller: “My point is that it took longer to get service in your store than for her to give me a ticket!”

Me: “You parked in a red zone. It doesn’t matter how long you were there for; it’s still illegal.”

Caller: “You should put a sign in front of your store saying that if you park in the red zone while shopping there you’ll get a ticket!”

Me: “Isn’t that what the red paint is for?”

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A Scrambled Sense Of The Law

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Technology

(Working for the local cable office we often get questions about services that are connected to TV, but not necessarily a service we provide.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys rent cable descramblers?”

Me: “Oh, do you mean antennas to get over-the-air channels?”

Customer: “No, cable descramblers for the people that want TV stations but don’t want to pay for them.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That’s not how business works. I can either set you up for TV or you can get an antenna.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I get a descrambler?”

Me: “Because they are illegal, ma’am.”

(The customer went wide eyed and immediately changed the subject.)

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