Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Going Off On Those Going Off The Menu

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(This pub restaurant is part of a country-wide chain and each has an identical menu. We therefore only have certain ingredients in our kitchens and never stock ingredients that aren’t on the menu. We also never have extra staff to save money on wages. I am serving a table with four adults and two children.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like the children’s fish and chips, but could I swap the peas for beans, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry but we don’t have beans. Only garden peas, mushy peas, mixed vegetables which includes cabbage, carrots, and broccoli, or salad.”

Customer: “Oh, well, she doesn’t like green things, so could I have sweetcorn instead?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have sweetcorn either. Does she like carrots? I could take out the cabbage and broccoli from the mixed vegetables, if that helps.”

Customer: “Hmm. Well are you sure you don’t have baked beans? Isn’t there a tin in the back somewhere that you could get?”

Me: “Very sure. As beans are not currently a menu item at [Chain Restaurant], I’m afraid we don’t stock them at all. Not even one tin.”

Customer: “Well couldn’t one of you just run out and get some? We’d wait.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m afraid we couldn’t. Even if we had enough staff for one of us to leave the restaurant, which we don’t, we have to purchase all of our stock from company suppliers.”

Customer: “Well, fine. She’ll have to have the carrots. I still think you could go out and get some beans or sweetcorn, though. It’s not that hard.”

(They all order and finish their main courses. I bring out dessert menus.)

Customer: “So, on the children’s menu I see the pudding options are chocolate brownie, ice cream, or jelly, right?”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Customer: “Well, could you maybe do some rice pudding for them instead? I can’t see it on the menu but maybe you could just pop out and get a tin?”

Me: *facepalm*

No Meat In Their Brain, Part 4

| Vietnam | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I and my family walk in a restaurant to see a customer yelling:)

Customer: “…chicken looked like it was made of flour.  The meat tasted like potato. It’s the lowest quality food I have had in HCM city.”

(The waitress tried to talk but he was continuously yelling. If she had been able to talk she would have been able to tell him it was a vegetarian restaurant.)

Related:
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 3
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2
No Meat In Their Brain

A Membership Flip

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests

(I am calling existing members to see if they want to change their plan. I need to speak to an adult female customer when a male answers the phone.)

Me: “Hi this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. Can I please speak to [Female Customer]?”

Customer: “How I do I know you’re from [Company]?”

Me: “Well, if I can speak to [Female Customer] I can give her the last few digits of her membership number.”

Customer: “You didn’t answer my question. How do I know you’re from [Company] and not a pedophile in prison?”

Me: *shocked* “Uh, okay. Have a great day. Bye.” *hangs up*

A Used-less Philosophy

| Waltham, MA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I work in a used book store.)

Customer: “Do you have new books?”

Me: “Well, we sell mostly used books, but we have a small selection of new books here.”

Customer: “I always forget this is a used book store. I NEVER read a book someone else has read. I was a librarian and I wouldn’t even let my children check out books.”

Me: “…”

Expressly Oblivious

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(It’s incredibly busy, and our store is tiny — we have two registers, and hardly any counter space. A woman comes up with a basket full of cosmetics and creams. I ring everything up as quickly as possible.)

Me: “Okay, that’s going to be $60.50.”

Customer: “What? Really? That seems way too high.”

(A bit of sticker shock is understandable, since it’s a small pile of more expensive stuff that adds up, but the line is getting longer and longer.)

Me: “I don’t think I made a mistake. These things are all taxable. Maybe that’s throwing off your math?”

Customer: “No, it’s way too high. Let me see… uh, $1.99… plus $4.50… That’s $5.00? No, $6.00… plus $3.99… up to $9.00…”

(She apparently going to manually add up all of her groceries, and she’s taking her sweet time. I slide her basket back in front of the register.)

Me: “Here, I can just re-ring your items for you and we’ll see if anything’s off. This’ll be quicker and easier.”

(I scan all her items again, as fast as I possibly can, because there are at least five people waiting with their own full baskets and carts. The total comes to $58.00, and the customer smiles smugly…)

Me: “Oh, wait, the second package of tissues.” *I pull it out from under the basket, where it had fallen* “So, yes, $60.50.”

Customer: *while handing over her card* “That’s not right! I need to look at my receipt and count everything up. You’re way too fast; I’m not in a hurry.”

(I look at the completely packed store and paste on a smile to keep from screaming.)

Me: “Well, the customers behind you might be in a hurry, though…”

(The customer glares at me, snatches her receipt, and begins to veerrrry slowwwllly match up her items to the prices on the slip.)

Me: *shoving her basket down to the edge of the counter* “I’m just gonna slide you down so I can help the next customer; you look that over and ask if you have any questions.”

(She stood there, taking up about a third of the counter space, reading her receipt for about fifteen minutes before finally deciding I wasn’t trying to cheat her. In that time I must’ve served half a dozen other customers, and the line never let down. A different customer actually had to grab her cart and move it out from the aisle, because she was so oblivious of other people moving around her.)

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