Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity, Part 2

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work for an online gourmet food shop. They sell all kinds of neat things, ranging from gourmet sea salts to flavored sugar and spice blends. I was working the phones when I got this beauty of a call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do your natural sea salts have any sodium in them? I need sodium-free natural sea salts.”

(Now I know they make fake ‘sea salt’ in labs for people who shouldn’t have too much salt, but these are NATURAL sea salts. CLEARLY LABELED.)

Me: “I’m afraid they do, ma’am.”

Customer: “Every last one of them? I need to find natural sea salt that doesn’t have any sodium in them!”

Me: “I’m… very sorry, ma’am. All of our NATURAL sea salts do have sodium in them.”

Customer: “Ain’t that some bull****. F*** this place.” *click*

An Extra-Large A**-Hole

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(The pizza shop where I work has several in-store specials, including $11.99 for a large combination. Unless a coupon or special says otherwise, it’s $2 to upgrade to an extra-large pizza. A regular customer comes in after placing an order over the phone. He is always a little curt and slightly drunk, but I’ve never had a problem with him before.)

Me: “Okay, you had an extra-large combination pizza. Anything else today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “That comes to $13.99.”

Customer: “They said it was $11.99.”

Me: “The special is $11.99 for a large, and $2 for an extra-large.”

Customer: “But he said $11.99 on the phone! I spoke to [New Coworker], and he said $11.99!”

Me: “It’s possible he was confused. It’s $11.99 for a large combo, and $2 to upgrade to extra-large.”

Customer: “Look, I asked him twice. I wrote it down!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it’s always $2 more for an extra-large. It’s on the poster in the window. If [New Coworker] said $11.99 for an extra-large, he was mistaken.”

Customer: “I wrote it down!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Customer: “Do you want me to leave the pizza here? I’m walking away.”

(I turn to my manager, who’s working nearby.)

Me: “Uh, what should I…?”

Manager: *quietly* “Just give it to him. It’s okay.”

Me: *to the customer* “Okay sir, $11.99. Sorry about the confusion.”

(The customer says nothing and hands me his credit card. The machine processes and asks to print a receipt.)

Me: “Thank you, sir. Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: *annoyed* “No.”

(I finish the transaction and close the register.)

Me: “Okay, have a good day, sir!”

Customer: “Can I get a receipt?”

Me: “…”

Not The Sharpest Tool In The Box Today

| Cape Town, South Africa | Crazy Requests

(I’m the idiot in this one. I go to the local traffic department to renew the vehicle license. This comes in the form of a round paper disc – about four inch diameter – which affixes to the windscreen, but is printed on an A4 sheet. Having time before my next appointment, I go to the barber’s for a haircut. There is a queue, so I am thinking that I can cut out the license disc while I am waiting…)

Me: “Excuse me, do you have any scissors here?”

(Cue hysterical laughter from all patrons and staff.)

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”

Should Just Dangle A Carat In His Face

| Manchester, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “What carat is your jewellery?”

Me: “All of our jewellery is sterling silver, sir. Silver isn’t classified in carats.”

Customer: “Yes, I know but what carat is it?”

Me: “Silver isn’t classified in carats, sir; that’s gold. Our silver is 925 Sterling Silver meaning it is 92.5% pure silver, 7.5% another metal such as copper. Pure silver is too soft for jewellery so 925 Sterling Silver is used.”

Customer: “Yes but what CARAT is it?”

(This went on for a good ten minutes before he left.)

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