icon_bizarresilly

Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A Formless Complaint

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work with the arts centre in my town. I’ve worked about seven shifts at this point, so getting to grips with things, but still a bit hesitant at times. One day in my last half an hour a tall, artfully-disheveled-looking 60-ish man enters. He charges up to the desk (and into my personal space).)

Man: *unintelligible due to the gallery’s echo*

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t catch that, the echo and all! Can I help?”

Man: *very condescending* “HOW… MANY… PIECES DO…” *points at me* “YOU- HAVE- IN-HERE?

Me: “Erm… I’m not exactly sure myself but I can—”

Man: “Ah, no, you’re only the help. I understand.” *under his breath* “Women.” *laughs through teeth as he charges off around the exhibition*

(15 minutes later after he’s been around the gallery.)

Me: “I hope you enjoyed the exhibition!”

Man: *smug* “Well, I counted them.”

Me: *smiling through gritted teeth* “Oh? I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you the exact—”

Man: “There’s… a lot!”

Me: “Um…okay brilliant.”

Man: “There aren’t enough people I know in these pictures. I didn’t like it. Where did this even come from?”

Me: “It’s from the Tate.”

Man: “Oh… well, still. Maybe… arrange something more interesting next time.”

Me: “I’m not actually in control of what is shown in the exhibits, but if you could fill out a visitor survey for me, I could definitely pass your suggestions up to the curator.”

(The man just stops and stares at me for an uncomfortable five seconds.)

Man: “I don’t believe in tainting art with forms.”

Me: “…”

Man: “Just… project this onto the creative directors. Okay?”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, sure. I’ll let them know.”

Man: *emphasizing* “Project.”

(He walked outs of the gallery whilst sighing under his breath.)

You’re Only Free To Leave

| Bridgeport, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to return this. It works fine. Just don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “Okay, let me just take a quick at the receipt see how you paid. Oh… I’m sorry, sir, this is three months outside of the return policy. I won’t be able to take it back. Is it defective?”

Customer: “What? No. So? It works. Where does it say the return policy?”

Me: “Here, there, there, and it was emailed to you. I can’t take it back being so outside the return policy and it being opened.”

Customer: “I am never shopping here again!”

Me: “Okay… sorry to hear that.”

Customer: “I will accept a free store credit for the trouble so I can buy a charger.”

Me: “No, I can’t give you a free store credit; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “This is just ridiculous! I can’t believe I can’t get free stuff here!”

Making A Classic Mistake

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time, Transportation

(It is the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy being assassinated and one of the local papers has reprinted their edition from that afternoon, complete with the actual advertisements that ran in the paper. A customer comes into our car dealership inquiring about one of the ads….)

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling about the ad I saw in [Newspaper] about the new [Car Model] from [Our Dealership] for only $3,000 and I’d like to get one.”

Me: “Sir, that is an ad in a special commemorative reprint from 1963. That offer is exactly 50 years old, to the day. It’s long expired.”

Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re offering cars for $3,000; you’d better give me one.”

Me: “Sir, if we get a 1963 [Car Model] in stock anytime soon, I’ll give you a call and sell it to you for $3,000, okay?”

Wish You Could Part Ways

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Customer: *after complaining how dealers and garages are all out to take your money and burn you* “So you are telling me you cannot fix my car?”

Mechanic: “We can fix your car; we just do not have the parts.”

Customer: “Why do you not have the parts? It is a standard part!”

Mechanic: “We do not carry parts for your vehicle. Your car is [X brand]. We are a [Y dealership] and garage. Our parts are not for your vehicle.”

Customer: “But you are a garage!”

Mechanic: “Yes for [Y vehicles], so we stock only [Y vehicle] parts.”

Customer: “So you do not have my part?”

Mechanic: “No, but we can get it.”

Customer: “If you can get it, why do you not stock it?”

Mechanic: “Because are a [Y dealership] garage. Your car is an [X brand]. If you want the parts to be in stock you need to go to an [X dealership] garage.”

Customer: “But you can get the parts so you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “Look, when the [X dealership] garage opens and the parts stores open, we will make a few calls, find the part, and send a driver out to get it.”

Customer: “If you can get the parts you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “We do not stock parts for cars that are not [Y cars]. We are not a parts store or an [X vehicle] dealer.”

Customer: “So I guess you are going to screw me over and make me wait until other stores open so you can get a part you should have in stock.”

Mechanic: “As soon as we can we will get to work or you can take your car to an [X dealer].”

Customer: “Fix it. OH, and I have a coupon.”

Mechanic: “We cannot accept it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Mechanic: “Because it is for [Y vehicles] only. See it says right here. “Valid for [Y vehicles].”

Customer: “So you will not stock my parts and you will not accept a coupon!”

Mechanic: “…”

Customer: “So can you fix my car?”

Mechanic: “As soon as we get the part here which may be an hour or two.”

Customer: “You really need to keep my parts in stock!”

Mechanic: “Sir, we are not a… Forget it. Just have a seat; you will be called when it is ready.”

Suffering From Bad Graphics

| Conway, AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

Client: “I need a logo designed for a girl’s camp and would like it to be on fire with a dragon blowing the logo out of his mouth.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s start with the logo and get it designed, then work on the dragon after a logo has been picked. What colors would you like?”

Client: “I don’t know. I will get back to you on that.”

Me: “Okay. I will start some samples and wait on you to tell me what colors you want before I send you any samples.”

Client: “Okay, thanks.”

(Three hours later:)

Client: “Where are my logos? If you don’t have anything ready I will go in another direction.”

Me: “Did you decide on your colors?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Well, I can not send you a logo to select from if you have not decided on colors, unless you want them in black and white?”

Client: “No, I want them in purple and orange!”

Me: “Ok, I will add those colors and send you five selections of what you described you wanted.”

Client: “Okay.”

(Ten minutes after sending samples:)

Client: “What is this? I want a true designer not clip art pictures! I’m using someone else!”

Me: “Sorry if I misinterpreted what we discussed. What were you expecting?”

Client: “Not fake font and fake flames! I want the real thing, like a photograph, DUH!”

Me: “Sorry… I am not a photographer. Everything I do is drawn on the computer.”

Client: “YES, I KNOW! So draw a photograph of what I want!”

Me: “Sir, I am not drawing you a photograph I agreed to do a logo for $120, not a photograph. If you want a photograph drawn that will be charged by the hour and will take a few days.”

Client: “You are dismissed! I would like to formally fire you. Let me talk to your boss so they will fire you!”

Me: “I own this company so I am the boss.”

Client: “Then you BETTER give me what you promised for what I paid!”

Me: “Sir, you never paid anything. We don’t accept payment until the job is complete.”

Client: “This is ridiculous! I’m going another direction!”

Page 96/340First...9495969798...Last