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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Red Faced With Failure

| GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(It is National Wear Red Day. A customer comes in, all in red, and after shopping approached the cashier.)

Customer: “Why aren’t you wearing any red?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “Red! Why aren’t you wearing red?! It’s National Wear Red Day for women’s heart disease!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am wearing red. Our store’s color is red.”

Customer: “But you’re not wearing it for National Red Day! And your jewelry isn’t red!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry—”

Customer: “YOU FAIL!”

Cashier: “I… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “YOU FAIL!” *turns to customer behind her* “YOU FAIL, TOO!” *storms out without making purchase*

Customer #2: “Glad to know I fail.”

Not Very Cagey About Their Drinking

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(A woman has come in looking for a hamster for her seven-year-old daughter’s birthday the next day. I’ve gone over the basic care instructions and all that’s left is to pick out the cage.)

Me: “Okay, so the dwarf hamster is pretty small, and any of these cages will be big enough. I would recommend this one, since it comes with food, bedding, food dish and a water bottle.”

Customer: “Which one is the easiest to put together? I’m gonna be pretty drunk tonight when I set this thing up.”

Me: “…Let me show you the pre-assembled cages.”

This Joke Has Been Used

| Tilehurst, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I overhear the following conversation in the pharmacy:)

Customer: “I’d, um, like some, er, suppositories, please. Sorry, but I’m not really sure which ones. They’re for my wife, who called out for me to get some when I was half-way out the door on an errand to do something else.”

Pharmacist: “Certainly, sir, let’s go and look for some. Here: would they be these?” *offering him a particular brand*

Customer: “Pff. Not sure. Could be; I know she suffers from the H word, but on the other hand…”

Pharmacist: “You can bring them back for a refund and replace them with the other kind.”

Customer: “What, even if…” *at this point he cracks up laughing* “Even if…” *and he’s laughing so hard he can’t say what he’s trying to say*

Pharmacist: *knowing exactly what he’s trying to say; it’s an old joke, but so funny she can’t help laughing herself* “…even if they’ve been used?”

(Both customer and pharmacist laughed like grade school children.)

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 6

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Time

(At my store, the place you punch in is at the registers. However, the storage for the employee’s items is in the back. You need to go to the back to put your items in before punching in. I have just clocked in and am going up to my supervisor to see what register I’m on and what duties I have. Before I get to her, I’m stopped by a customer.)

Customer: “Are you an employee?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Why aren’t you at a register?”

Me: “I just clocked in two seconds ago. I’m going to—”

Customer: “Well, I saw you walking past. Why weren’t you on the register?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s store policy for the employees to put their things in the back before clocking in.”

Customer: “Have you seen this line? I want your manager. There need to be more employees on the register. What I want to know is why you aren’t on a register now.”

Me: “Because I’m busy talking to you.”

(In the time it took for her to complain, I could have gotten on my register and checked her out.)

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 5
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 9

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I’ve just started scanning a customer’s purchases, which are coming at me on a belt from the left, when an older woman approaches me from the right – the bagging area.)

Woman: *holding newspaper and money* “I just want a paper.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve already begun scanning this customer’s purchases. I can’t ring you up until this transaction is complete.”

Woman: *twitches her offerings at me* “But I just want the newspaper! Can’t you scan it quick?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’ve already begun this person’s transaction and cannot start a new one now. If you step behind her in line, I can ring up your purchase next.”

Woman: *grumbling and stepping into line* “Well, SOME stores let you just do it quick…”

(She keeps mumbling to herself as I scan the first woman’s items, and addresses me a few seconds later:)

Woman: “It’s true, some stores WILL just do it quick…”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve already explained, I cannot void an ongoing transaction. This customer was here before you, and I had already started when you walked up.”

Woman: *points rudely at customer I’m still ringing up* “So what you’re telling me is that if I had gotten here before her, you would have rang me up first?”

Me: *still cool as a cucumber* “Yes, ma’am. That’s generally how lines work.”

(She was dead silent as I rang up her paper, and left without her receipt. I’m glad I could provide her with such an important teaching moment, as she seems to have missed when it was given in kindergarten!)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 8
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

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