Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

This Happens Showtime And Time Again

| Memphis, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(A woman arrives with a large group of children about 30 minutes before we open the front doors. I am in the box office already since people frequently come by to get advance tickets, before any movies actually start, to avoid lines.)

Woman: “Yes, I need one adult and 15 children for [Kid Movie #1]. You all really should have some kind of discount for large groups.”

Me: “Well, we actually do sometimes offer large group discounts, but you have to contact our corporate office to arrange that. If you had informed us you were coming, we could have helped you with it. I can give you the information now in case you come again.”

Woman: *huffing* “Whatever. I’ll just take the tickets for today.”

Me: “Sure.” *upon seeing it doesn’t start for over an hour* “Ma’am, are you aware that movie won’t be starting for another hour? Also, the lobby isn’t open for another 30 minutes, so unfortunately you won’t be able to wait inside for a while.”

Woman: “What?! I checked the times that showed it starting 15 minutes from now!”

(It’s currently 11:30. Typically, movies start at noon or later, but some theaters start at 11:45, so her claim isn’t that odd.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t know what to tell you, but that movie doesn’t start for quite some time.”

Woman: “Your website says it does!”

(I keep our website loaded on my phone for just such occasions as these so I can show people that our website is accurate. I show her my phone.)

Me: “Actually, it doesn’t. See? And, in fact, my ticketing system on this computer is linked directly to our site in order to track online sales. It is not possible for the website to show something different than what I see on my screen. Are you sure you were looking at this theater?”

Woman: “Of course. I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “When did you check, ma’am? Our times change each week as new movies come out.”

Woman: “I checked on Wednesday! I called earlier this week and the girl on the phone told me to check Wednesday!”

Me: *sensing the possibility of another common customer error* “Did you change the date at the top of the screen to today’s date?”

Woman: “Why would I? The girl told me the times would be up Wednesday!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m certain what she meant was that the weekend showtimes would be AVAILABLE on Wednesday, which is true. However, you still have to choose Friday’s date to see Friday’s showtimes.”

Woman: “Well, this is utterly ridiculous! What am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, we do have [Kids’ Movie #2] seating in…” *checking the time* “…about 20 minutes from now.”

Woman: “No! That’s stupid! We came here to see [Kids’ Movie #1] and that’s what we’re going to see! We’re a big group; just start it now!”

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot start the movie early just for your group. There will no doubt be other customers arriving to see the movie at the correct time and we don’t want them to walk in halfway through the film.”

Woman: “Just put them in another theater, OBVIOUSLY!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have arrived just before opening. All our auditoriums will be starting a show within the next hour or so, and they are very precisely timed so that the staff has time to clean before the next show starts. There is no other theater to put them in, and if we leave them in the correct theater, but move you and start yours early, it will be on for too long for us to start the next show on time. Additionally, moving a film to another auditorium is a lot of work and would take time, nor am I even sure it’s possible as we’ve recently switched to hard drives and no longer use actual film. Everything is controlled by a system housed in Texas. We cannot just push a button to start the movie because you came at the wrong time.”

Woman: “The girl on the phone told me Wednesday! You guys changed it! That’s not my fault! You should have told me! We need to see the movie now!”

Me: “Of course we changed it; three new films came out today! We had to accommodate them. Who was supposed to have told you? We didn’t know you were coming. You cannot see that movie now. You will either have to wait until it starts, watch [Kids’ Movie #2] now, or come back another time.”

Woman: “Get me your manager!”

(I was inside the enclosed box office so I turned off my speaker and called a manager on the radio, explaining the situation in detail before he talked to the woman and she lied about what happened, as customers do FAR too often to get something free. He let her into the lobby to talk, and I have no idea what was said, but he entered the box a few minutes later with what I assumed was her card and rang up tickets for the show the next day. The group then left.)

Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

Needs A Key To The Real World

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

Customer: “I need you to make a copy of my car key. It barely works at all and I need a new one that works perfectly.”

Me: “You do know that we make a copy of your key? The new key will work just as well or poorly as the key you give to me.”

Customer: “No, it will be a new key so it will work just as well as my key did when it was new.”

Me: “That would be true if you were bringing in your key when it was new. However I can see that your key now is very worn and we copy what you give us.”

Customer: “No, I want it made better. Is that so hard?”

Me: “Okay, let’s assume that instead of a key you were copying a document that had several misspelled words on a copier. Do you think that the copier would correct the spelling of the words on your new copies?”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

Me: “Here we learn the difference between ‘Should’ and ‘Reality.’ And I am sorry to say that reality is all we have here. So I am going to have to turn you down for making you a key.”

Her Items Cannot Be Fabricated

| AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Popular

(A woman was looking very disoriented in the crafting aisle, and so I went to approach her.)

Customer: “Do you have paint for a sign? I need a bucket.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t carry paint in buckets. We have fabric glue, but not a bucket of it.”

Customer: “Oh.” *holds up her hands to approximate a huge sign* “I need paint for a sign this big.”

Me: “I’m afraid that we don’t carry paint for signs, ma’am. Any paint that we have in stock is intended for fabrics and is in small bottles. We are a crafts store, but we specialize in fabric.”

Customer: “That’s okay! I’ll just buy your paint and then a paintbrush, please.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that we don’t carry paintbrushes either. We are a crafts store, but we specialize in fabric. Have you tried going across the street to [Department Store]?”

(At this point the woman drops what she is carrying as if I offended her terribly.)

Customer: “No, I came HERE for crafts. Are you telling me that this fabric store can’t have someone go across the street and special order those paintbrushes here for me right now!?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am…”

Customer: “WHAT KIND OF A CRAFTS STORE IS THIS!?”

Me: “One that specializes in fabric, ma’am.”

Very Family Unfriendly

, | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant that is comprised of a dining room on one side and a lounge/bar on the other. Children, for obvious reasons, are not permitted on the bar side. On this evening we are packed, which is not unusual for a Friday night. A female customer approaches me at the front desk.)

Customer: “How long is the wait for the dining room?”

Me: “Good evening. Right now we are looking at a forty-five minute wait for the dining room. Would you like me to put your name down?”

Customer: “Forty-five minutes! That’s pretty s***ty! What about the bar?”

Me: “The bar does have availability. Is everyone in your party over eighteen?”

Customer: “No, I have two little kids that are d*** near starving!”

Me: “I apologize, but minors are not permitted in the bar side.”

Customer: *shouts* “Oh, you just hate children, then!”

Me: *stunned silence*

(The family left, the mother swearing and cursing our “children hating” policies.)

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