Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

I Don’t Know Myself!

, | Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work for a veterinary clinic that also offers pet boarding. To board, pets must be current on vaccinations; if they are not, a staff member reviews a consent form with them and then a vet will update the required services.)

Client: “I have a complaint.”

Me: “I’m sorry. How can I help you?”

Client: “No one called me to tell me my dog was started on ear medications while boarding.”

Me: “Let me review your file… According to the paperwork you signed at check-in, you selected the “Okay to treat minor issues” box, rather than the “Call to approve” box.”

Client: “Why would you not call people?”

Me: “Some people prefer not to receive calls when gone on vacation or business—”

Client: “—You don’t know me. How do you know what I want?”

Me: “Yes, that’s why we asked you, on this form you signed, what your preference was, to be contacted or not?”

Client: “You don’t know me!”

Me: “Perhaps in the future you should check the other box…”

Rated-R For Responsible

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(A man bursts out of the theater playing an R-rated movie about 20 minutes into it, with a five- to seven-year-old kid.)

Customer: “I was just inside watching [Movie] and was shocked at what I saw on the screen. This is not appropriate for a young child!”

(I look at the little boy in tow and am somewhat surprised that they were allowed in by the staff, but also know we can’t keep some people out if they’re not disruptive.)

Me: “You took a young boy in to see [Movie]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “So you know these are violent movies?!”

Customer: “You should have a sign or something on the poster warning people of the violence.”

Me: “I assure you, sir, we do!”

(He looks at me funny and I tell him to follow me. I take him to the lobby, bring him over to the poster, and point out the R-rating posted on the poster.)

Me: “There it is, right there, sir! “Not recommended for audiences under 17.” There’s your warning.”

(He sputters and his face gets even more red than it already was.)

Customer: “That’s not enough! You should personally make another, larger sign of warning and place it next to the poster!”

Me: “I’m not going to do that. Consider yourself an educated customer, for you learned something today about personal responsibility. See that you never forget it.”

(I fully expected him to demand a refund, which I would have given him, but he sputtered again angrily and left the lobby in a huff. It still amazes me how some parents expect strangers to protect their kids from certain things when the parents themselves aren’t willing to step up.)

They’re More Likely To Fly

| Ireland | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a busy cafeteria style restaurant in a popular tourist attraction. A customer walks up to our hot food counter.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “Yeah, what’s vegetarian?”

Me: “We have two soups which are vegetarian, we have a salad bar, and today we have a goat’s cheese quiche which is also vegetarian.”

Customer: *points to the quiches displayed* “What about that one?”

Me: “That is a quiche with leek and baked ham.”

Customer: “Yeah, I want that.”

Me: “Okay, but that’s not vegetarian. It has ham in it.”

Customer: “Are you telling me I can’t have it?”

Me: “Not at all, sir. I’m just letting you know it’s not vegetarian because it contains ham.”

Customer: “Well, that’s what I want. Give a slice of that.”

(I proceed to plate up his quiche and the sides he ordered. He walks away to pay and sits down. About 15 minutes later I’m now at the cash register serving another customer when I spot him standing close by holding his plate.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I want a refund.”

Me: “Was there something wrong with your meal?”

Customer: “I asked for a vegetarian meal and I was served a quiche with meat in it.”

Me: “Sir, I served you that quiche. I explained to you there was ham in it, therefore making it not vegetarian. You went ahead and ordered it anyway.”

Customer: “But it has meat in it. I want a refund.”

Me: “Sir, first of all, I told you it wasn’t vegetarian. Second of all, you have eaten all of it. I cannot give you a refund.”

Customer: “I want to speak to a supervisor.”

Me: “I am a supervisor. I cannot give you a refund because you were told that the meal you ordered was not vegetarian and I believe I pointed out more than once that there was ham in it.”

Customer: *slams down his empty plate* “How was I supposed to know ham was meat?!”

Me: “Sir, pigs don’t grow on trees.”

What Would Jesus Order?

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion

(I own a small diner in the middle of town. Despite how small it is, we get a fair amount of customers during the week. However, weekends tend to be extremely slow, usually to the point that I can run everything by myself on Saturdays and Sundays. It’s reached the point where I don’t even bother to stay open past one pm, as it’s extremely rare that anyone comes in after that on those days. On Sunday in particular, I have a group of three middle-age women who come in every week after church to grab some lunch. They tend to lecture and chastise me for working on a Sunday, but I tend to let it go since they’re otherwise fairly pleasant. However, one particular morning, they caught me in a somewhat bad mood…)

Woman #1: “Hello, . I’d have my usual, but no onions this time.”

Woman #2 and #3: *practically in unison* “Same here.”

(I go to prepare their orders, which doesn’t take long since they’re all rather easy to make. As expected, no one else has come in, so I decide to close up once they’re done. After I bring them their food, one of them looks at me with a concerned face.)

Woman #2: “You okay, sweetie? You look a little stressed out.”

Me: “Oh… it’s nothing serious. I just got caught in the middle of some drama between some friends, so I didn’t get much sleep.”

Woman #1: *scoffs* “Well maybe this is because you insist on working on Sundays. Clearly, the lord is punishing you!”

(The other two chime in, agreeing with the rather harsh comment, and I stare at them in disbelief. At that point, I finally snap, but I managed to keep my cool and take a different approach.)

Me: “Okay… you know what? You’re right. I really shouldn’t be working on Sundays.”

(I pause just long enough to watch them pat each other on the back for finally “convincing” me of how “wrong” I’ve been, then continue.)

Me: “So, from now on, I won’t open this place on Sundays anymore.”

Woman #3: *suddenly turning pale after it seemingly takes a moment for my words to register* “…Wait …what?”

Woman #2: *also catching on* “But… where will we go to eat then? You’re the only place around here that’s affordable!”

Woman #1: “Yeah! You can’t do this! We’ve been loyal customers ever since you opened this place up!”

Me: *shrugging and feigning conflicted feelings* “Well, I really am sorry. But you’ve been saying it yourselves. I shouldn’t work on Sundays, so that means I can’t open up on Sundays anymore.”

Woman #1: “W- well… I’m sure the lord will make an exception… just this once! After all, you’re serving his followers, so… yeah! I’m sure He’ll forgive you!”

(The other two hastily nodded in agreement, and I had an admittedly cocky grin plastered on my face for the rest of the day. Naturally, they haven’t given me any grief about working on Sundays ever since.)

Feel Sorry For The Husband

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

(I am working in a retail store, and my shift starts at 12:30. I get in at 12:15, and see many customers so I put my uniform on, clock in early, and get to work. A woman approaches me.)

Woman: *aggressively* “I hope you enjoyed your LUNCH.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again. I shouldn’t have to wait.”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Woman: “Don’t lie to me. I was here an hour ago and you had a back in five minutes sign, to get your lunch, even though there were people who wanted to get into the store. Don’t EVER do that to your customers again.”

Me: “Ma’am, my shift doesn’t even start for another ten or fifteen minutes. Was there something you wanted help with?”

Woman: “If you keep lying like this, you’ll never find a husband.” *shows me her wedding ring with a smug look, then turns and walks out*

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