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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Making A Dis-Appointment

| Hanover, Germany | Crazy Requests

(I am a law student doing my practice course at a law firm which houses about a dozen lawyers just in the office where I am. It’s my last day, a Friday, and I’m assisting the lady at the front desk. She has just left for the back room, leaving me at the desk, when a client storms in, beet-red in the face and clearly agitated.)

Client: *in heavily accented German and just about to yell* “I have to talk to one of the lawyers. It’s about [case reference number].”

Me: “Sure, with whom do you have an appointment?”

Client: “I don’t have an appointment. But it’s really urgent.”

Me: “Oh, that’s a bummer. You do need an appointment. With whom do you want to talk?”

Client: “Mr. [Name].”

Me: “He’s not here today; he’s in the office in [Other City]. Do you want to make an appointment for Monday, as it’s so urgent?”

Client: “No, Monday doesn’t work. I don’t have time then.”

Me: “Would you like him to call you back?”

Client: “No, this needs to be done in person.”

Me: “So you would like an appointment with him.”

Client: “No.”

(I am starting to get a bad feeling about how this conversation is going to go.)

Client: “There’s more lawyers in this office, though, aren’t there? Let me talk to one of them.”

Me: “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Mr. [Name] is the lawyer assigned to your case.”

Client: “Well, but he wasn’t my original lawyer here at this firm. I used to be with Mr. [Other Name].”

Me: “Yes, but Mr. [Other Name] left this office and moved to another, and all his cases were re-assigned to Mr. [Name].”

Client: “How is that even possible?!”

Me: “When you brought the case to us, you signed a letter of authorization.”

Client: “Yes, for Mr. [Other Name]!”

Me: “No, our standard letter of authorization clearly says it’s for all the lawyers of this office. And when Mr. [Other Name] left, Mr. [Name] took on all his cases.”

Client: “Well, then send me to another lawyer if the letter is good for everyone!”

Me: “I can’t do that. None of them are familiar with your case; they don’t work on it. Mr. [Name] does.”

(The client starts to pace in front of the desk and is breathing heavily.)

Me: “Do you want to talk to Mr. [Name]?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Then let’s make an appointment.”

Client: “No.”

(The entire discussion described above is repeated. Twice.)

Me: *really annoyed now* “Okay, I’m going to break policy a bit now and see if I can reach him at the other office.”

(Usually, the offices act separately from each other, but I figure since the lawyer in question is a bit of an oddball by working at two offices, it’s okay for me to call. I do, but can’t reach him because he is with an appointment. The lady at the front desk of the other office – after chewing me out for breaking protocol – jots down the client’s mobile phone number, though.)

Me: “Now, Mr. [Name] has your number now, and he’ll call you once he’s available.”

Client: “Great. Now I can ask him when he wants me to come in on Monday for an appointment.” *leaves*

Me: *mentally goes through every known method of murdering a person*

Colleague: “Soooo, d’you think you’d like to work here permanently?”

Me: “I wasn’t planning on going to jail that soon into my career.”

Customers With Very Specific Baggage

| Tigard, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work at a large retail store. On the credit card machine, at the end of every transaction, a one question survey would pop up for the customer, asking to rate our customer service, from 1 to 5. I’ve just finished ringing up a customer and put her items in a plastic bag. She has been fairly normal so far, until…)

Customer: “Do you have any bags with handles?”

Me: “Yes, all our bags have handles.”

Customer: “No, I mean a paper bag. I don’t want plastic.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. All we have are plastic bags.”

Customer: *angrily replies* “Well, I don’t want a plastic bag!”

(She then picks up the stylus pen and chooses “1” on the customer service questions, deliberately pushing down so hard on the screen that it permanently leaves a mark.)

Customer: “Next time have paper bags!”

It’s All Fun And Games Until The Till

| Ashford, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(Every morning, around 9 am, we have “Team Brief,” where the manager talks about the business issues of the day with the workers. The briefing takes place in an alcove near the lift, which is just off to the side of the main store. There is no door separating the customer area and alcove. The manager usually makes the briefings very informal. On this particular day, two colleagues remain on the tills to serve customers – one on a full sized till, and one on the “10 items or fewer” till. The briefing is going well and the manager has said something amusing, causing us all to laugh.)

Angry Customer: “Why the **** are you standing here laughing? I want to be served!”

(Everyone stops laughing, and the manager goes out to see what is happening. The small till is empty, but there are two customers waiting at the big till.)

Manager: “This till is available, sir.”

Angry Customer: “That’s not a proper till! I demand a proper till! If you were serving and not f****** around in there then I wouldn’t have to f****** wait!”

(Another employee opened another “proper” till and serves the man, who stormed off angrily after that. Nevertheless, we were all in a quiet mood for some time afterward.)