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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Expiration Explanation

| USA | Crazy Requests

(I have a customer who wants to return a task chair she’d purchased for $39.99 because it is broken. She proudly tells me she still has her receipt. It is dated FOUR YEARS earlier.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our return policy is 30 DAYS, and unfortunately the manufacturer’s warranty wouldn’t have been more than a year.”

Customer: *very upset* “Well, I insist you should give me a refund or a new chair. I kept my receipt! I should be able to get a refund or a return since it’s broken!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but our return policy is only 30 days and your receipt says you purchased this four years ago.”

(Now, if I bought a chair for $40, sat in it for four years, and it broke, I’d feel like I got my money’s worth, but not this lady.)

Customer: “This is just so unfair! I drove two hours to bring this broken chair back to the store. It’s going to cost me $80 in gas round trip!”

(This was a FORTY DOLLAR chair. Even if we HAD been able to give her a refund, she would have been in the hole forty dollars…)

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Over My Frozen Dead Body

| Sweden | Crazy Requests

(I’m working the register at a grocery store. While most other grocery stores usually have a roll of small, transparent plastic bags (sometimes referred to as freezer bags) at the end of the register, we do not. We do, however, keep some inside the store, so if a customer realizes that they need one, we usually tell them where they are and they can go back to get one. It’s not exactly a huge store, so it’s not a long walk. A middle-age woman comes to my register and I scan her groceries, including a pack of ice cream. As she’s paying:)

Customer: “Where are your freezer bags?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we actually don’t have any here by the register.”

Customer: “WHAT? How can you be allowed to sell ice cream and not have any freezer bags?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We do have some inside the store though, by the fruits and vegetables, so if you’d like you could-”

Customer: “You’re telling me to GO BACK INSIDE?! OVER MY DEAD BODY! Aren’t you supposed to get SOME service here?!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

(I don’t offer to get her a bag myself as I cannot leave the register unattended, and she doesn’t ask for me to get one either, so by now I’m just trying to finish the transaction as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next customer.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Of course! I’ll need it! You always get things wrong at this place, you know!” *leaves*

Me: *internally* “Well, if that’s the case, then why are you still shopping here?”

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I Find Your Lack Of Concessions… Disturbing

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s a few days after “Star Wars” has opened, and it’s been playing to all-day sold-out screenings since it opened. We’ve had such huge, record-numbers of guests, that we’ve actually started to run out of many of our concessions. It’s a Monday night, my shift ends in ten minutes, and I’m dealing with my last round of customers, who are of course there to see “Star Wars.” We have a large group of people in the stand because we’ve had to bring in the new hires for emergency training to deal with the record-number of guests. However, as they are all training, they can’t really help me.)

Customer: “Pretzels, please.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve actually sold out of pretzels.”

Customer: “But it’s a MONDAY!”

Me: “Unfortunately, Saturday was the busiest day we’ve ever had in the theater’s history, and all of our pretzels sold out by that afternoon.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Pepperoni pizza, then.”

Me: “We also sold out of all of our pizzas Saturday. I really apologize. We’ve been dealing with record-numbers of guests the past few weeks and we’ve been selling out of much of our stock.”

Customer: *fuming* “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Nachos?”

Me: *wincing* “Sold out as well. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “FINE! HOT DOGS!”

Me: “We do have hot dogs, but there’s none prepared at the moment. We could have some ready in about fifteen minutes, if you’d like.”

Customer: *screaming; pointing to the trainees around the stand* “What the f*** are you all good for, then?! So many people around you and you’re too STUPID to make f****** hot dogs?!”

Me: “We actually sold all of the hot dogs we had prepared on the guests before you. I really apologize.”

Customer: *pulling phone out* “POPCORN! MEDIUM! AND I WANT COURTESY TRAYS TO SPLIT IT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!”

Me: “We’re out of courtesy trays.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer storms off.)

Next Customer: “Wow, she was dramatic…”

Me: “Yeah, I apologize. We’ve sold out of a lot of inventory and it’s been ugly here the past few weeks as a result. How can I help you?”

Next Customer: “Can I get some nachos?”

Me: “Sorry, but we sold out of them.”

Next Customer: *instantly furious* “WHAT?! THIS IS BULL-S***!”

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Sorting Out The Disorder

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m a customer in this one.)

Worker: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get you?”

Me: “I had a call in order for [My Name].”

Worker: “Oh… uh. Can I see your credit card?” *looks at card and verifies the last four digits on receipt* “We actually had a lady come in a few minutes ago, saying she was [My Name] and took that order. Did you have someone else coming for the order?”

Me: “No… not that I know of.”

Worker: “It was an order of [repeats my order to me]?”

Me: *laughing* “Yeah, it was. Oh, man, did you have any other pick up orders?”

Worker: “Yes, two others, but there’s only one order with a woman’s name. I even asked her what her name was, and she said [My Name].”

Me: “That’s weird! Oh, well. She’ll be upset when she gets home with the wrong order. And, of course, it’ll completely be your fault, because she didn’t pay attention.”

Worker: “I’m so sorry about that. We’ll make it up again, but it’ll be ten minutes. In the meantime, if you’d like a drink, it’s on the house.”

Me: “No, that’s fine. It wasn’t your fault at all that she didn’t listen.”

(I sit down and wait for my order to be remade. My name has just been called when a woman comes barreling up to the front.)

Her: “You screwed up my order. I didn’t order any of this crap.”

Worker: “Wait… was this the order for [My Name]?”

Her: “YES! I ordered [something more expensive] and I paid for this? I expect you to remake it!”

Worker: “We didn’t get an order for [something more expensive], only this one right here. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

Her: “Yes! I always come here! You need to make this order again. I’d demand you refund my money if I didn’t think you’d double charge me.”

Worker: “Actually, you will have to pay for this order, ma’am.”

Her: “The h*** I will! Why would I need to pay for your screw up?”

Me: *stepping up after listening* “Oh, is this the order for [My Name]? Great, thanks!” *reaches over to put my hand on the order the woman has* “I guess this means that this is my order, too. Thanks for bringing it back for me.”

Woman: “Wait, but… what?”

Worker: “We can’t fill your order until you actually place an order in, ma’am. Are you sure you are in the right place?”

(The woman rushed back out, leaving the food behind. The worker offered it to me, but knowing some stranger had her hands in my food was a nauseating idea. We think the woman was trying to get a free meal out of the situation, but even if she’d been at the right place, she would have had to pay the difference in the meal if she’d truthfully ordered what she’d claimed to begin with.)

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Should Have Taken Notarize

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in an auto tag shop. Because of the high volume of paperwork that requires notary, my boss requires anyone who gets hired to get their notary license. We do general notary work as well, but we also tend to know a little more about notarizing motor vehicle paperwork because that’s what we do all day. I got this phone call one afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I’m going to be selling a car, but I can’t arrange a time to meet up with the buyer. What can I do?”

Me: “Oh, no problem! What you can do is bring the title in to us and we’ll notarize it. Then you can give it to the buyer and he or she can do the transaction without you being there.”

Customer: “Oh, good! What do I need for that?”

Me: “You’ll need to bring us the title and your valid identification. You’ll also need the buyer’s name and address, the purchase price, and the approximate mileage on the car. Then, it’s five dollars and we only accept cash or check.”

Customer: “What if I don’t know the buyer’s name and address?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, we need that information. We can’t notarize the title without filling that information in on the back. If we do so, it’s called an open title, and that’s illegal.”

Customer: “But I don’t know who’s buying the car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until you have a buyer secured before you can get the title notarized.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Is there no place who will notarize this title for me?”

(The shop where I work is known for being extremely strict on the laws, while there are other shops who are a lot more lax as well as notaries who don’t know about open titles. It happens quite often that someone gets something illegal done at another shop and then is upset with us that we can’t do it as well, so I default to my usual answer in this situation.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t say that. I’m sure that there are notaries and tag shops out there who will do what you’re asking, but I have to warn you that they would be doing it illegally.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “An open title is illegal. There are plenty of tag shops out there who operate illegally and will do what you’re asking, but unfortunately we are not one of them.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, can you give me the phone number to one of those illegal shops?”

Me: “I’m sorry…? No, ma’am, I don’t have a list on hand of illegal tag shops.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay! I’ll find one on my own! Bye!” *hangs up*

Me: “What just happened?”

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