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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Unable To Face His Small Reality

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in the smallest size category location of a national chain. I hear Customer #1 and Customer #2 talking to each other across the aisle from me.)

Customer #1: “…don’t even have an upstairs or nothing?”

Customer #2: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer #1: “Is this all there is?” *gestures vaguely at the store in general*

Me: “Yup, we’re the smallest possible size [Store].”

Customer #2: “So you don’t have like comforter sets or anything?”

Me: “Not here in the store. We can order them for you, and the bigger stores carry them, but we only have clothing, accessories, shoes, and jewelry in this location.”

Customer #1: “So where’s the nearest REAL [Store]?”

(I gave the customers the names of two towns, both an hour’s drive away, that have locations with the kind of merchandise they were looking for. But I WANTED to say, “This IS a real [Store]! I get a paycheck and everything!”)

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Has A Latte Demands

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I manage a small cafe & coffee shop in a VERY small town that happens to be close to the interstate and several universities. As such, we get a fair amount of tourist traffic, especially from the motel across the street. One early morning, when only I and a fairly new coworker are in the cafe, we notice two women, mother and adult daughter, walking over from the motel.)

Coworker: “Good morning! How can we help you today?”

Older Woman: *looks around at our tables and coffee station while her daughter stays blocking the door* “Do you have food here?”

Coworker: “Yes, we do! Our menus are right here, and we have some specials on the board over here…”

Older Woman: *interrupting* “Do you have a chai latte?”

Coworker: “Um, I don’t think so…” *looks at me for help*

Me: “Good morning! I’m afraid we don’t have lattes, as we don’t have an espresso machine or a steamer for milk. We’ve got locally roasted coffee and loose leaf teas, though.”

Older Woman: “But you don’t have a chai latte.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Older Woman: “Could you make one anyway?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We don’t have the right kind of tea. Our teas are all from China and are unflavored.”

Older Woman: “Well, the only reason I walked all the way here from the motel was to get a chai latte.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any chai type tea.”

Older Woman: *makes a sour face* “Well, did you ever think about GETTING chai?” *stares at me with expectant glare*

Me: *blinks a few times*

Daughter: “Mom, let’s just go. There’s probably a [Worldwide Coffee Chain] somewhere near here.”

(They leave.)

Coworker: “Did she expect us to go out and buy some, just for her?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, she did.”

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Adding Fuel To The Fire

| Perth, WA, Australia | Crazy Requests

(I am the manager at a petrol station when, one day, a car LITERALLY explodes on the driveway — the fireball is about 20 feet high. The emergency stop button is activated to stop all fuel flowing as three staff members run out with fire extinguishers to control the blaze and keep it away from the fuel tanks. We get it under control just as the fire department arrives, then need to wait until the fire chief gives us the all clear to resume business. The staff are all quite shaken and hovering near the closed front door while customers continue to drive in and park at the pumps.)

Customer #1: “Hey, your pumps aren’t working!”

Me: “No, we’ve just had a fire. We can’t operate until we have the all clear from the fire department.” *I gesture to the fire truck, lights still blazing, and the dozen or so firefighters examining the melted & smoking remains of the car*

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(He then starts walking toward the store. I stop him at the door and he looks puzzled.)

Customer: “Let me through. I want to buy some drinks.”

Me: “Sir, as I said, we can’t operate until we have the all clear from the fire department.”

Customer: “…but I just need a few things.”

Me: “Mate, we are closed. Again, because of the FIRE.”

(This went back and forth a few times before he finally stormed off in huff, jumped into his car and raced off. It took another two hours before the car was towed and we were able to re-open. Sadly, I repeated the above with at least another twenty customers in that time who “just wanted” a few things.)

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They’re Probably Grumpy In The Daytime Too

, | Norman, OK, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work as a dispatcher for a university police department. I work night shift. I stay up all night even on my days off. It is about two or three in the morning and the phone rings.)

Me: “[My Name], Police Department.”

Caller: *an older female* “Y’all need to turn your stadium lights off!”

(Football is a religion in this town. The gigantic football stadium is practically right in the middle of everything, and its lights are often kept on at night for workers.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “I’m trying to sleep and those d*** lights are shining right into my house!”

Me: I’m sorry about that, ma’am. It’s up to the athletic department to turn the lights on and off, but I can pass it along to my lieutenant and see if anything can be done.”

Caller: *further ranting about not being able to sleep and how inconsiderate the university is, etc. before hanging up*

(Had I not been on a recorded line, I might have pointed out the irony to her in calling a night shift worker in the middle of the night and complaining about not being able to sleep to someone who has to sleep in the middle of the day. With the noise. And the light. And the traffic…)

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Client Defiant

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a law office as both receptionist and as consultant for new clients. We always do our consultations over the phone, since walk-ins tend to expect to see the lawyer right away. Seeing as his schedule is planned usually a month in advance, that isn’t feasible.)

Me: “Law office, how can I help you?”

Caller: “I need your address.”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Caller: “To see the lawyer. What is your address?”

Me: “[Lawyer] is not in today, so you wouldn’t be able to see him today. Can I help you?”

Caller: “No, you can’t. This is sensitive information. I just need your address.”

Me: “Okay. We only do [types of law] at this office. Is this the type of case you have?”

Caller: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Well, new callers are unable to see the lawyer the same day. We have to schedule them to see him. I can take your information over the phone, however.”

Caller: “No, you can’t. I would prefer to talk to him. Just give me your address.”

Me: “Okay. The address is [address]; however, we still would not be able to schedule you for an appointment to see him without first doing a consultation with you.”

Caller: “Listen, sweetheart, I don’t give sensitive information out over the phone. Working at a law office, I would think you’d understand that. I will be in there today to see [Lawyer].” *hangs up*

(One hour later, the caller and her husband arrive, and instantly glare at me.)

Caller: “I’m here to see [Lawyer].”

Me: “Do you have an appointment to see him?”

(I already know she doesn’t, but I’m dying to know what she has to say.)

Caller: “I wasn’t told that I need to have an appointment! I need to see him today. It’s imperative that I see him today. How long will it be before I can see him?” *They sit down.*

Me: “Hmm, if you don’t have an appointment, then it’s not going to be until [three weeks later].”

Caller: “WHAT? But I have to see him about my case!”

Me: “OH! You need a consultation!”

Caller: “YES!”

Me: “Right! We don’t do consultations in person. I do them over the phone. I’d have done so earlier, but you were unbelievably rude, with no reason to be. And you told me that you refused to give me your information. Without your information, there’s no way we can set an appointment for you.”

Caller: *stares at me*

Me: “We can’t take your case. Have a nice day!”

(She argued with me until the legal assistant came to back me up. With her attitude and insistence to see the lawyer, there’s no way we would want her as a client.)

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