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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Customer

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(This all takes place over the phone.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to know how much the Montblanc rollerball and ballpoint pens are?”

Me: “Okay, which ones?”

Customer: “There are only two kinds, rollerball and ballpoint.”

Me: “Right, I understood that, but we also carry fountain pens. I meant which specific design?”

Customer: “The black ones.”

Me: “Sir, they’re all black.”

Customer: “Oh. The nice ones then.”

Me: *face-palming, because they’re ALL expensive nice pens* “One moment.”

Me: “Okay, the Classique ballpoint is $575 and the Classique rollerball is $595.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: *sighs inwardly* “Yes, sir, I am holding them in front of me right now.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you have other brands that would be $200 or less?”

Me: *glances at the hundreds of pens in the case* “Yes, sir, but there are literally hundreds of pens.”

Customer: “Well, what do they look like?”

Me: “Sir, like I said, there are literally hundreds of pens. You’d need to come into the store to narrow it down.”

Customer: “Oh.” *click*

Was On A Dozen Margarita’s When Ordering

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work for a company that imports and sells dinnerware to retail establishments. I am taking an order over the phone:)

Customer: “…and I’d like a dozen of these handmade margarita glasses.”

Me: “Okay. One dozen. So that you’re aware, these are hand-blown glasses and as such will have variations in color, size, and shape. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Yes, it says that in my catalog. The variations make it interesting!”

(A few weeks later I take another call from the same customer. I’m sure you can guess…)

Customer: “I need a return on these defective margarita glasses you sold me! They’re all different sizes! None of them match! They’re all different!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I told you they were hand-blown and would not match. You said that was okay.”

Customer: “Well that’s just false advertising! You should tell people they’re not going to match!”

Going To Dye Of Stupidity

| RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s a busy Sunday at the market I work at and we have run out of brown eggs. I’m filling the empty space with white eggs when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you could go in the back and dye these white eggs brown for me?”

Me: “I don’t think I can do that.”

Customer: “Well, that’s what you do with eggs, right? You just dye the white eggs brown. My husband won’t eat white eggs so could you dye these brown?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just see if someone else will dye these for me, then.”