Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Refunder Blunder, Part 22

, | Red Deer, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It is a busy day at work and the phone keeps ringing. Since I am the only person at customer service, I am supposed to answer the phones, and if I am on the phone and a customer walks up I am supposed to let them know that as soon as I finish on the phone I will help them with whatever they need.)

Me: *on the phone with the customer* “I hope I helped you with everything you needed. Thank you for calling, and please have a nice day.”

Customer: *tapping her fingernails on the counter* “FINA-F***ING-LY! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes waiting for someone to help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry, but I am the only one at customer service today, because my coworker called in sick, but I am here to help you with whatever you need. Do you want to do a return today?”

Customer: *pulls a box for a cordless phone out of a bag* “This phone won’t work anymore; I would like a refund.”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to help. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: *huffing and puffing* “Why would I need my receipt? I bought it here and I would like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our store policy is that without a receipt we cannot accept refunds on open-boxed products. Luckily, the receipt would still be in our system. Do you have the original method of payment with you?”

Customer: “I do.” *hands me her debit card*

Me: “Okay, great! I just need to know when you purchased the product.”

Customer: “Shouldn’t you already know that?! You have my debit card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we have to search for it by the date as well. We have regular customers that purchase so many things each month. It helps us find the exact date the product was purchased so we can reprint the receipt for you.”

Customer: “The product was purchased April of 2012.”

Me: *hands the customer her card* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this. It is out of policy.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I shop here all the time!”

Me: “Our return policy is 30 days. Some items are only eligible for 14 day return policy, with a 14 day grace period. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this.”

Customer: “This is f****ng ridiculous! I’m going to [Competitor]. They do a return no matter what!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was customer service for [Competitor]; they are going to tell you the same thing, and because you never bought it there, they won’t return it.”

(The customer stormed out of the store. She pushed one of our GMs out of the way while she left. I made a phone call to the competitor store telling them she was on the way and they phoned all the other stores around the area. She never got her refund. She went on to our website and complained about me ruining the return for her.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19

Dead Bird-Brained

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work at an all species vet clinic. The receptionist pages back, in a worried tone, for a tech to come up to discuss issues with bird food with a client.)

Me: “I understand you have some questions about bird food?”

Client: “Yes! I keep this bag of chicken scratch in my barn and there’s a dead bird in it!”

Me: “Oh, my. That certainly isn’t right! I see the bag has a label from—”

Client: “Who put it there?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Client: “Who put it there? Who’s trying to poison my chickens?”

Me: “I’m sure no one’s trying to poison your chickens, sir. It’s possible a bird flew in—”

Client: “You sell tainted food to get chickens sick. That’s how you make money!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you we would not risk an animal’s health to make money. I see the bag is from [Farming Supply Company]; we do not even sell that food. It may be a quality control issue on their end, so I would definitely contact the company to report it. Their number is right here on the bag. I would not use this bag to feed your chickens.”

Client: “So, you didn’t put the sea bird there?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Okay, have a nice day.”

Trying To Manufacture A Different Price

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests

(The store I work at sells appliance parts. I take a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]!”

Caller: “Hi, I need a price on a pump for my washing machine.”

Me: “All right, do you have the model number?”

(Amazingly she does, and the call proceeds normally as I look up the part for her and quote the price.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I have this pump in stock, and your price would be $102.71, plus tax.”

Customer: “Oh, wow, that much? Um… would you be able to refer me to someone who might have it cheaper?”

Me: “Uh… not really… That’s the manufacturer’s price, and—”

Customer: “So, non-negotiable, right?”

Me: “I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “D***! Okay, thanks anyway.”

(She hangs up.)

Me: *to coworker* “Apparently people want us to send them to our competitors and still stay in business!”

Someone Needs To Be The Voicebox Of Reason

| TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “I don’t appreciate the service here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, why is that?”

Customer: “That little girl in the back window is very rude. She looked at my husband weird. He has a voicebox for his neck.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Tell you what. Give us our food for free and we won’t sue you guys.”

Me: “…”

(We never got sued for it.)

That Last Part Is The Icing On The Pancake

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s Sunday morning, during our breakfast menu.)

Me: *hearing the door open* “Good morning!”

Customer: “Do you guys have any platters where I can just get sausage and eggs?”

Me: *searching through the options on the screen* “Hey, [Coworker], do we have platters without pancakes?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

Me: “He wants to get just eggs and sausage on a platter.”

Coworker: “We can ring him up just the sides.”

Customer: “How much would that be?”

Me: *ringing up the eggs and sausage* “It’s gonna be about $5. Did you want to try the ultimate?”

Customer: “What does it come with?”

Me: “It has the eggs, sausage, we’ll replace the pancakes with another side of sausage. And you get a side of hashbrowns with it.”

Customer: “Bacon.”

Me: “Not the sausage?”

Customer: “No, just bacon. How much?”

(I cash out the customer while my coworker shouts the order back to kitchen, repeating it several times so that kitchen can actually understand it. She tells them it’s with the pancakes; I correct them that that’s being replaced with the bacon. This entire time, the customer is still right next to me, and can hear everything the two of us have said. When it comes out, half of the tray is covered with bacon, while the rest is with scrambled eggs.)

Customer: *interrupting me while I’m bagging the order* “What’s in that platter?”

Me: “It’s just the bacon and eggs, like you wanted.”

Customer: “No, you charged me for the ultimate. You charged me for the pancakes. Give me them.”

Me: “We replaced the pancakes with the bacon like you wanted.”

Customer: “You charged me for pancakes. Give me my pancakes.”

Me: “All right, just a moment, please.” *starts walking away*

Customer: “No ‘just a moment.’ Give it now!”

Me: “I need to get my manager.”

(I quickly explain the situation to the manager on shift, explaining that we gave him what he wanted and was charged for.)

Manager: *after about a minute, to the kitchen* “I need some pancakes, please!”

(At this point, I’ve holed myself at the specialty drink station, doing the morning prep.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Please give me something to justify my staying here until he leaves…”

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